The intersection of people that follow both finance news and NASCAR, I’d guess, is comprised entirely of seven businessmen scattered throughout the greater Charlotte area…and Darren Rovell. But hopefully the rest of you will just be mildly curious about how America’s first socialized auto manufacturer plans to handle its Chevrolet brand’s business in NASCAR. The Wall Street Journal reported that GM declared in its bankruptcy filing that it had $172 billion in debt against $82 billion in assets. So that pretty much wipes out their stock car program, right? From ESPN:
No one in NASCAR has higher or closer connections with GM than [car owner Rick] Hendrick, though he never flaunts them. He’s been dining privately with GM chairmen and CEOs since the days of Roger Smith. That’s more than 20 years.
“I’ve had no indication they’re going to cut back,” Hendrick said of GM’s NASCAR operations.
As Hendrick understands it, “there’s a plan, a get-in, get-out situation,” Hendrick said. “I’m hoping that if it happens, they’ll get in and get out [of bankruptcy] in a hurry.”
Uh-huh. Yeah, this whole bankruptcy filing is just a bump in the road. Did we mention that GM hasn’t turned a profit since 2004? It’s hard to pin all that on Dale Earnhardt, Jr. I was really hoping we would have taken that GM bailout money and done something to benefit all Americans. Like bombing Canada.
|via All Left Turns|
This is a girl deep throating a hot dog at an auto show. I mean, I could wistfully spin some prose about adversity and achievement and the gifts of this chick, but that would just ruin the moment. And it truly is a wonderful moment. *unzips pants* So wonderful…
…Actually, I have no apparent evidence that this is an auto show. Whatever. Thanks, George.
We’ve long had a love affair with rally races, which is a polite way of saying that they’re an excellent source of stupendous crash videos. And who doesn’t love the sexual arousal adrenaline kick that you get from watching a violent car wreck?
The video above (via Total Pro Sports) is of Finland’s Jari-Matti Latvala, who went over a barrier and rolled close to twenty times until finally coming to a halt almost 500 feet away from the track above during an April 3rd race in Portugal. It looks pretty dramatic, but both Latvala and his navigator escaped without serious injury. Now that’s what I call a wild “Finnish!”
The door? Over there? That’s okay, I’m used to showing myself out.
Carrot Top’s most recent set
Kyle Bush won yesterday’s Shelby 427 in his hometown of Las Vegas (that’s him kissing his girlfriend, inset), 
but the real news — that is to say, the only thing providing us any entertainment — was the parade of celebrities and has-beens hanging out at Pit Row.
In the pit area at the start of the NASCAR race Sunday: Oscar winner Adrien Brody, actress Angie Harmon and husband Jason Sehorn and Nick Lachey as guests of driver Jimmie Johnson. Also spotted before the race: Pete Rose, NFL legend Willie Lanier, Miss Nevada USA Georgina Vaughn, Mayor Oscar Goodman, presenting the mayor’s trophy to Kyle Busch for winning the pole position; comedian Carrot Top, dropping in on the NASCAR drivers’ meeting and later posing with driver Tony Stewart, comedian Ron White, hanging out with Kurt Busch.
I can’t lie: I originally picked up this story because I was gonna Photoshop Carrot Top about to get run over by a bunch of stock cars. But that seemed too cruel, teasing you with such a beautiful image when it didn’t come to fruition. Dare to dream, people. By which I mean, “Hit Carrot Top with your car.”
Two coaches for Toronto FC of the MLS had to jump out of the way when an 8-year-old driving a van nearly hit them. The boy was driving at the behest of his father, who — to be fair — was too drunk to drive. So it was almost responsible parenting.
Witnesses said the boy crashed the van into a tree, shattering the driver’s side rear window, after the two coaches got out of the way. The boy then crashed a second time into a tree, damaging the car’s radiator, the police report said.
When police arrived, Belanger fell to the ground after he dropped his wallet. When he fell, he slammed his face on the pavement, leaving a gash on the bridge of his nose.
The boy told police his father took “liquid medicine in order to feel better.” He pointed to an empty bottle of Canadian whiskey in the vehicle.
A good question here would be, “Wait, so why is a cat driving the car in the picture?” And I’ll be honest, I don’t really have a good answer for that. I just think cats are funnier than kids. Just be glad I didn’t replace the dad with a side of bacon.
[Deadspin]
Indy racer Danica Patrick is in the Swimsuit Issue for the second consecutive year, and this year’s spread is way way better than last year’s. Last year she was crawling out of a firesuit on a beach and wearing a bland white bikini. Now they’ve got her all glammed up, wearing a fancy bikini and high heels while she’s draped across a sports car. Science says that high heels and fast cars make any photo shoot 50% sexier, and science is never wrong. Science also says she could have gotten the extra 50% if she were pictured eating fruit provocatively and submerging herself in a tub of motor oil. Eh, maybe next year.
