Danica Patrick won the Japan 300 yesterday:

“It’s a long time coming. Finally,” Patrick said. “It was a fuel strategy race, but my team called it perfectly for me. I knew I was on the same strategy as Helio [Castroneves] and when I passed him for the lead, I couldn’t believe it. This is fabulous.”

And you're fabulous Danica. Some say she's not that attractive, but I think she's definitely above average. And the way she handles that advanced piece of technological equipment makes her all the more sexy. It's like when I was working at the metal-stamping plant and had a torrid affair with Charlene. Sure she had a glass eye and exhaled the smoke of her KOOLs through the gaps in her teeth, but the way she engaged the hydraulic press -YOWZA! -KD

Photo: SI.com 

Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s clothing line from Adidas went on sale yesterday morning, and were his fans excited:

"We've already seen him," Earnhardt fan Krystle Forsythe said, standing at the front of the line. "We've been stalking him all week." . . . Judging by the scene outside the Sports Authority store across the street from Daytona International Speedway on Friday, the new clothing line could become the racing equivalent to Apple's iPhone or Nintendo's Wii. "Well, it's more important to me, because I don't have either of those," said 23-year-old Forsythe.

You don't say, Krystle with a 'K'. I don't have either of those things either. Where are you from darling?

She and her mother, Diana Brock, flew all the way down from Collingwood, Ontario, to attend Sunday's Daytona 500. And if that wasn't enough of a show of loyalty to their favorite driver — who's "just funny and he can drive really good," according to Forsythe — they also lined up early to get first crack at Earnhardt's new souvenir line. How early? Try 10:30 Thursday night. "We're from Canada, so we won't be able to get this stuff for a while," Forsythe said.

Wait, you're from Canada and you're a NASCAR fan? I'm sorry baby, but I have standards. I'd rather take my chances with some more bear urine. -KD