Gaelic football and Australian Rules are similar sports, both falling within the realm between rugby and American football.  But they’re still different enough that a hybrid, International Rules, was developed to let the Australians and Irish compete against each other.

The International Rules Series kicks off tomorrow for the first time since 2006 (it’s supposed to be an annual event), and given that drinking and fighting are the only things the Irish and Australians are good at, you can guess how this series goes.  The reason it wasn’t played last year: a series of on-field brawls and assorted violence put the event’s future in doubt. Not sure why that’s seen as bad. I’d pay good money to watch Irish and Australians fight. “Fight! Fight, you curs! Winner gets a mug of ale!”

(You can watch the goodness in the video above, but I strongly recommend muting your computer, as it’s unfortunately set to Limp Bizkit or some similar insult to your ears and intelligence.)

[Dave's Football Blog]

An Aussie Rules fooball match in — get this — Australia was interrupted by a streaker who inadvertently knocked himself out in the middle of the field.  That’s odd, usually streakers seem like such bright people.

According to witnesses, he ran to the centre half back position where he did a “funny” jump – but landed heavily on this head and was “out cold”.

Volunteers at the ground attended to him and several minutes later he was carried from the oval on a stretcher.

The report says that Streaky Pete is recovering, which I take to mean he woke up naked in the hospital.  Take it from me, waking up in a hospital is no fun at all.

Wait, did I say hospital?  Because I meant jail.  Naked, jailed, and semiconscious is no way to live life.  Ask my girlfriend.

(thanks to Vince for the story; VIDEO after the jump)
Read the rest of this entry »

“Mad Monday” is the day after the Australian Football League’s regular season ends. It’s when the players whose teams didn’t make the playoffs go wild and crazy, because they don’t have to do those things expected of them during the season. Things like “not do drugs” and “stay sober” and “hit women with dildos.”

[Carlton star Brendan] Fevola was on a boozy outing with his teammates yesterday when he rocked up to Fed Square about 5pm (AEST) wearing a pink nightie with the sex toy strapped around his waist…

“Fev had a foot-long dildo hanging out of his pink muu-muu in full public view outside the bar,” said a witness who asked not to be named.  “I saw him hit a couple of girls on the head with it. It was a bit off-putting.”

Women’s Forum Australia director Melinda Tankard Reist said Fevola’s actions were inappropriate. “Women should be able to walk freely in public spaces without being sexually harassed in this way,” she said.

Awesomely, police are not looking into the matter because “no one had issued a complaint.”  Which means that women in Melbourne are cool with a guy in women’s pajamas assaulting them with a dildo.  Now if you’ll excuse, I’m moving to Melbourne immediately.

[via FanIQ, which has the disturbing video]

My favorite thing about Aussie Rules is obviously all the lithe, muscular men in tiny spandex uniforms.  But my second-favorite thing is the way players can seamlessly punch opponents in the face and go straight into the arms-out "who me?" defense, then deliver a throat-chop without missing a beat.

That's Barry Hall of the Sydney Swans laying out a couple of West Coast Eagles, and I haven't seen West Coast players go down like that since that one time I dropped a baggie of black tar heroin. 

[Dave's Football Blog] 

Aussie Rules football doesn't JUST have a widespread drug problem, you know.  A lot of the players also have problems with alcohol and disrespecting women.  But the AFL is taking steps to correct those problems… through the greatest teaching instrument there is: the DVD.

An interactive DVD which asks players if they would sleep with their mate's girlfriend is the Australian Football League's (AFL) latest effort to improve player attitudes to women.

The AFL confirmed it is producing the DVD which guides players on how to deal with various scenarios and boost their respect for the opposite sex.

This one isn't gonna be easy.  Australian culture has complex ideas about gender roles and how to act appropriately in mixed company.  For starters, too many Australian men drink and hit their girlfriends, which is terrible.  Australian social mores dictate that men should only hit their girlfriends when they're sober; it's the responsible way to approach an even-keeled relationship.  This is markedly different from American culture, where high-profile, wealthy athletes are renowned for being chivalrous and respectful to women.

(Thanks to sex kitten Kristine for the tip) 

Aussie Rules football is about as popular in Australia as our own version of the game is here in America.  And with this video, it's easy to see why.  At any time in the action, a man's shorts can get torn from his body, leaving him to play the game in his underwear.  RAWR!  I'm getting all hot and bothered just writing about it. 

Or maybe just bothered.  When did I start making this site so gay?  Perhaps it was all those propaganda leaflets the queers were handing out.  They recruit pretty heavily, you know.  And I do love to dance.

[Dave's Football Blog]