With the NHL entering the 68th day of the lockout, teams are probably more desperate than ever to earn a little coin on the side, and it might seem like the Toronto Maple leafs reached that tipping point back in October. At a recent auction, 112 random items from the Maple Leaf Gardens were sold to the highest bidders, and sure, you can say that all sports franchises auction off stuff like chairs and banners and whatnot, but it’s fun to pretend like an NHL team is desperate and broke.

But in fairness, this auction actually occurred because a private collector named Sherman Cunningham decided it was time to get rid of all of his Leafs clutter that included an original, one-of-a-kind 1967 Stanley Cup banner. Oh, and he also had a toilet from the locker room, because you wouldn’t want a locker room toilet?

Cunningham paid $3,600 for the toilet 12 years ago, so how much did this porcelain poop container mature over the years? It sold for $5,300 to 55-year old lawyer Jim Vigmond. What the hell do you do with a $5,300 toilet anyway?

Read the rest of this entry »

Last year, a 1934 Duesenberg Roadster sold for an estimated $10.34 million to set the record for the highest amount ever paid for an American automobile at an auction. In order to top that, it was going to take not only the perfect automobile but possibly the greatest CarFax report in vehicle history. Last Friday in Monterey, California, that car went up for auction and it showed that sausage-huffing Duesenberg that Fords rule now. The car? Steve McQueen’s Ford GT40 from the 1971 racecar porn, Le Mans.

If you’re unfamiliar with the film, McQueen – who is probably the biggest badass American actor who ever lived – played Michael Delaney, and he drove the No. 20 Gulf-Porsche 917K. However, the Ford GT40 that was sold at the auction was McQueen’s camera car that was used for close-up scenes, although it was also raced for two years by David Hobbs before the film’s production, according to the New York Times. The car in question was actually cut apart multiple times during the filming of Le Mans in order to accommodate the cameras, so buyer beware and all that jazz.

It’s also worth noting that the Ford GT40 (the same style of car that won four consecutive Le Mans races, mind you) was beat out at the same auction by a 1936 Mercedes-Benz 540K Special that sold for $11.77. Also, a 1960 Ferrari 250 GT LBW California Spider Competizione sold for $11.275. Regardless, somewhere McQueen is looking down on those cars and… doing nothing. Because he was that f*cking cool.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’ve been looking for the worst possible way to celebrate the warrior spirit of your favorite MMA fighter, look no further: eBay user “strong67″ is auctioning off a wooden shard from the telephone pole UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon ‘Bones’ Jones got drunk and drove his Bentley into last month.

From the auction, currently topping out at $36:

Well, I’ve heard people sell & buy crazy things, so I’m going to test that theory now… This is a piece of telephone pole wood that was knocked off when Jon Jones crashed into it w/ his Bentley on the corner of Grand Blvd & Helen St. in Binghamton on May 19th,2012… It measures about 14 inches long & actually has a “crashed smell odor” to it… It is about an inch wide in the middle & then narrows out at the ends… One pic shows the wood piece & the other pic shows the actual pole which is cracked near the bottom & now supported by wood beams… This is a good conversation piece & definitely WAY more interesting than his last fight… Maybe you can get him to sign it someday, but you may need to use it as protection if he throws a flying elbow your way rather than an autograph :o)

If his least favorite thing about fighting is being asked to sign replica belts, I’m sure “would you please sign this garbage I bought on the Internet from that time you almost killed yourself and others” will go over well. Especially if you mention how the debris you paid 10 extra bucks to have safely mailed to you still sorta smells like his f**ked-up car.

If you bid on this and win it, let us know what you do with it. If I won it, I’d fly to Binghamton and glue it back into the telephone pole. I’m not going to bid on it, though, I’m saving my money for strong67′s “authentic bone shard from Arianny Celeste’s boyfriend’s nose” auction.

[h/t to Maggie Hendricks @ Cagewriter]

The people behind the website CharityBuzz operate under the philosophy “Do Good, Live Well” and with that one belief, they have helped raise more than $60 million by auctioning off special event packages that involve some of the biggest names in entertainment and sports. In fact, here are a few of my favorite auctions that I found after checking out the site:

• Meet Michael Douglas and Morgan Freeman and compete in Michael Douglas Celebrity Golf Tournament in Atlantis (and then marry a girl 30 years younger than you)
• Receive golf lessons from Butch Harmon (leave me alone, I love golf)
• Visit the Fox NFL set and meet the crew (how about I pay to not do that?)
• Spend 5 nights in a luxury hotel before attending the 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and have lunch with an Angel (!!!!!!!!)
• Spend a day in Los Angeles with Tesla founder Elon Musk (at first I thought that was the band Tesla and I was ready to take out a loan)

And perhaps the most intriguing CharityBuzz sports auction currently under way involves bidding on the opportunity for your kid to play catch with Brett Favre. Currently at $4,250, this package – pun really f*cking intended – is valued at $10,000. For your dollar, Favre will come to your kid’s school or practice field and teach him (or her, liberals) how to pass for 70,000 yards, 500 touchdowns and 8 billion interceptions, as long as you live in or near Sumrall, Mississippi.

It sucks that you either have to live in or be willing to travel to Sumrall, because I’d be interested in winning this auction just to pay a line of local kids to drill Favre in the nuts with footballs.

Read the rest of this entry »

Following Jose Canseco’s Twitter antics has become a little boring as of late, because he exists somewhere in between outright lunatic and classic Internet troll, and his global warming prophecies of doom and desire to coach lottery winners on how to spend their money – I ain’t kidding, folks – had everything pointing toward the latter. But then yesterday Canseco went on a seemingly crystal meth-fueled rant about haters and racism, and lost in the middle of it was him being flat out busted for using Twitter to hit on girls behind his girlfriend’s back. So that was entertaining.

Speaking of Canseco and Twitter, Heritage Auctions currently has a listing for the Texas Rangers hat that Canseco was wearing on May 26, 1993, when Carlos Martinez hit a fly ball that bounced off of Canseco’s head and over the right field wall for a home run. Canseco is certainly aware that the hat is up for auction, which is why he wants you to know that he doesn’t agree that Martinez deserved a dinger in the stat line.

Read the rest of this entry »