I’ve cued up this YouTube clip to the 1:30 mark so you can see a large (assumedly drunk) lady going HAM on a skinny (assumedly drunk) lady in the stands at an Atlanta Hawks game. It’s got everything you’d want from a fan fight … admonishment from security, forced toplessness and a cameraman turning into one of the hyenas from The Lion King. HOO HOO HOOOO HOO HOO HOOOOOO

That first minute-thirty doesn’t explain a lot, either. We have no idea why these ladies were fighting. Those initial 90 seconds are very calm, so much so that the cameraman decides to film a child cheering and almost misses the fight. The eye before the storm, I guess.

Two lessons we can learn here:

1. Don’t be the type of person who gets into fights in stands at basketball games, and
2. If you ARE this kind of person, wear a thicker shirt.

[h/t Bob's Blitz]

A guy went for a $1,000 shot from half court at an Atlanta Hawks game, and while I can’t really say he made it, I CAN say he nailed it. This is the kind of shot where if $1000 is up for grabs, you give the guy who did it 2. (via Cosby Sweaters)

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Just Another Dwyane Wade To LeBron James Reverse Alley-Oop |Smoking Section|

Brandon Spikes Dances To Signal Possession |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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There is no way he can still jump that high. (via Footbasket)

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The 8 TV Actresses Stephen Colbert Managed to Top in the Maxim Hot 100 |Warming Glow|

30 Actors Playing With Themselves (Action Figures Of Themselves, We Mean) |Gamma Squad|

Six Seasons And We Love You Dan Harmon: The Internet Reacts To Dan Harmon’s Firing |UPROXX|

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Kobe Bryant, The Lakers And The $58M Question: What’s Next? |Smoking Section|

Meryl Streep doesn’t watch “comic-strip movies” (bonus: awesome photoshop) |Film Drunk|

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Original Star Trek Cast Meets Current Cast |Gamma Squad|

This 10 Year Old Really Hates the Kardashians |Warming Glow|

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The depressed “come on, man” really makes it. (via otb)

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TV GIFs of the Week |Warming Glow|

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By way of Awful Announcing comes this charming clip the first quarter of Thursday’s Miami Heat vs Atlanta Hawks game wherein Kevin Harlan, Reggie Miller and Sir Charles Five Buck Box It Rocks It Rocks Barkley discussing Weight Watchers, Dwight Howard and how sad the Hawks are while accidentally mic’d and on-air.

I think we can all agree that sports play-by-play would be at least 100 times better if announcers could say what needs to be said, such as:

Barkley: “Man I can’t stand to watch this Atlanta Hawks team play.”

Harlan: “This game is terrible.”

Barkley: “It is.”

Harlan: “Look at this game, 31 percent, God almighty.”

…and could start low-fat beef with Sara Rue over the ethical implications of getting paid thousands of dollars to lose two pounds a week:

“I thought this was the greatest scam going, getting paid to watch sports… this Weight Watchers thing is a bigger scam.”

That’s a fun sentence to take out of context. Barkley is being affable and saying, “hey, this is so easy I’m getting paid to do basically nothing”, but it can just as easily be blockquoted to mean “these jerks at Weight Watchers are stealing your money, just have some self control, your digestive system is not FourSquare why do you need points”. Yeah, I can only make this so controversial, but the clip is fun, and if announcing was more like this I’d listen to everything they had to say and not just tune out until the NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE-type stuff started.

I think the true highlight of the clip is Barkley’s “I DON’T GIVE A F**K WHAT DWIGHT HOWARD WANTS” face in response to Reggie.

(p.s. Sorry Sara Rue, I’m glad your jeans fit now but you looked better before.)

At some point today, the Atlanta Sprit Group will announce that they have sold the majority ownership stake of the Atlanta Hawks to Alex Meruelo, a Los Angeles business executive and founder of the Meruelo Group. Of course, any time a NBA team is sold, it goes through the Board of Governors first, and this deal could take four or five months, which would obviously interfere with the NBA season and distract the Hawks players.

*rim shot, fart noise, yawn*

But the big news about this deal isn’t that Meruelo is buying a team that probably won’t play for another 14 or 15 months, as much as it’s about the man himself. Meruelo is Cuban, making him the first Hispanic majority owner in league history. And he’s ready to win now. Or as soon as it’s convenient for David Stern and Derek Fisher to meet.

Meruelo (pronounced mur-rell-o) said some members of the Spirit group will maintain minority ownership positions but that he will own more than 50 percent and control ownership decisions. He would not be more specific about the size of his stake and would not divulge the price he has agreed to pay for it.

But he said, “I will be in complete control of the team.” (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

So he’s like Mark Cuban if Mark Cuban were an actual Cuban. Meanwhile, the Meruelo Group, in case you’re interested and I assume you are, owns and operates a Los Angeles TV station, a casino in Las Vegas and some restaurants, including La Pizza Loco, which means Crazy Pizza. Thanks, 8 years of Florida public school Spanish education!