When it comes to Christmas and birthday cards, I’ve always been a lot like Jerry Seinfeld in the sense that I’ve never known how long you’re supposed to keep a card for. I mean, it’s just a piece of paper with something already written on it, and then your mom’s or a hot Asian model’s signature. But just to be safe, I now have a box of cards that I keep in my home office (AKA the Fart Factory) in case one of my insane relatives ever calls and demands to see whatever Snoopy joke they sent me in 2002. And now I just want to scratch my name out and send all of those cards to 9-year old Dalton Dingus in Kentucky.
Dalton is dying from cystic fibrosis and his one wish is to break the Guinness World Record for receiving the most Christmas cards. It started as something with his family, friends and neighbors, but then, as always, the Internet went to work. Excuse me while I set the world record for most allergic reactions.