The Daily Mail recently posed the question: “Is El-Hadji Diouf the most hated man in soccer football?” And while I hate all non-American soccer players equally, there’s a strong possibility that the answer is a resounding yes. Recently dealt to Glasgow Rangers from Blackburn Rovers and seen in the banner image spitting in someone’s face, El-Hadji’s own teammates don’t even have the greatest things to say about him:

‘El-Hadji’s a bit of a character, a bit of a live-wire. I don’t really know what to say about him. He is a pretty colourful character,’ added the 25-year-old [Phil Bardsley], who is hoping to win a third Scotland cap against Northern Ireland in the Carling Nations Cup tomorrow night.

‘Off the pitch, he is actually a decent lad. It’s just on it that you want to give him a clip round the ear now and again.

‘I can understand why punters give him grief and opposing teams want to kick him. But if you forget all that, then he’s a decent player, as well. (Via The Daily Mail)

And while that’s not a terrible indictment of character, it’s sure not a pat on the back. So why then, Burnsy, are you bringing this fella up by offering up some vanilla quotes from a guy you’ve only barely ever heard of? Because the awesome people at the Something Awful Forums have put together one of the most inspired collections of GIFs we’ve seen in recent months. The initial GIF is after the jump…

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Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers may have trounced the Atlanta Falcons 48-21 on Saturday, but it’s his pregame behavior that is earning him A**hole of the Week awards from many sites around these here interwebs. In a news report aired by WBAY-TV in Green Bay, Rodgers was shown ignoring the autograph request of Jan Cavanaugh, a cancer patient wearing pink Packers gear, at the airport as the team was preparing to leave for Atlanta. Even worse, Cavanaugh had just driven directly from a radiation treatment for the sole purpose of grabbing some autographs. Yeesh.

When I first broke got wind of this story, it was told to me by my friend in a bar, as he glossed over Mike Florio’s soapbox rant at Pro Football Talk. And I said to myself, “Probably just another case of this guy stirring the pot and throwing gasoline.” Then I pulled up the video and thought, “Hoo boy, Aaron. That ain’t good, dude.”

Video and thoughts after the jump…

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Video is popping up everywhere of the brazen Miami Heat “fan” who wore his brand new LeBron James jersey to Wednesday night’s Cleveland Indians game at Progressive Field. From what we originally saw, this humble and inconspicuous young man was trying to find his seats in the left field bleachers with his girlfriend, when the crowd reacted poorly to his choice of attire. He was then removed from his seats, thus creating the world’s most polarizing argument since evolution vs. creationism – How dare they remove him because of his clothes?

It turns out that this gentleman, Matt Bellamy, was probably in the wrong seats, and he had probably been in the wrong seats in various sections of the stadium. Shocking, we know, that after all of this he was possibly just looking for attention. Cleveland Frowns blogger Peter Pattakos caught up with Bellamy in the concourse and filled in some background information, and Bellamy is everything we expected.

Paint a picture of the new face of bandwagon fans, Cleveland Frowns:

One underreported fact about Bellamy is that he was wearing a Buckeyes hat. He told me that he was born in Lakeland, Florida but moved to Sandusky when his parents divorced when he was 11. Wendy confirmed that they were from Sandusky. Bellamy also said he worked in a factory in Sandusky (Ed. – queue Tommy Boy jokes).

Wendy also told me that Bellamy had a four-inch scar on the back of his head from having been mugged and pistol-whipped somewhere in Sandusky. When I asked him why he wore the jersey, he told me that he’d live down in Florida if he could figure out a way to make it happen, and understands why LeBron would do the same. “[Eff] the haters,” he said.

First, the Ohio State hat clearly gives him away as a fake Heat fan. If he were a real Heat fan he would have been throwing up the U hand signs, repping the Miami Hurricanes like a true South Florida street-tough, suburban white kid.

Second, as I live in and sadly understand Central Florida and its people, if he is a Heat fan, he became one in 2006, and spent the last three years telling people that he was a Cleveland Cavaliers fan because it was the cool thing to do. And I’m also willing to bet that in the 2008-09 NBA Finals he told people, “I’m from Lakeland, I’ve been an Orlando Magic fan my whole life.” Then again, he probably owns a Kobe Bryant jersey, too.

I heaped praise at his young lady friend yesterday for being so seemingly cool during this mess. Sadly, it turns out she can only take so much.

(Plenty of pictures available at Cleveland Frowns.)

Hey kiddies, it’s time for a riddle!  What’s big and black and hard all over?  If you guessed Jayson Williams’ SCRAM bracelet, you would be correct.  If you guessed something else, you’re a total perv and it’s way too early for that crap.   Anyway, the ex-NBAer who’s no stranger to legal troubles has gotten himself into some more by getting hammered and deciding his car wanted to hump a tree.

Williams’ black Mercedes-Benz SUV veered across four lanes of oncoming traffic before slamming into a tree at an exit from FDR Drive in Manhattan around 3:15 a.m. Tuesday, according to a court complaint. He was found bleeding from the face and his breath smelled strongly of alcohol, the complaint said.

Police said Williams was alone in the passenger seat when officers arrived. He initially told them the driver left the scene, Assistant District Attorney William Beesch said. But a witness told police no one else had gotten in or out of the car, according to the complaint.–Foxsports.com

The bad news is that he just got busted for a DUI while waiting for his retrial for that one time when he kinda got schwasted and shot and KILLED SOMEONE.  But!  The good news is that he’s “sorry for causing trouble”.  “Sorry” always makes everything better, especially when you keep screwing up over and over and over again.

You ever hold a door open for someone, and they don’t say “thank you”?  Jesus that pisses me off.  Well, it turn out that the people who don’t say “thank you” are malevolent sociopaths.

A man faces assault charges after allegedly striking another man with a golf club in an argument over manners. Police told the Cape Cod Times that a 50-year-old man leaving a gas station in town on Monday morning held the door open for a 38-year-old man.

Police said the 38-year-old man did not thank the other man, who responded by uttering a sarcastic “thank you.”

The two men got into an argument before the 38-year-old went to his car to get a golf club, which he allegedly used to strike the victim several times in the stomach and legs.

Whoa, someone from Massachusetts is an asshole?  No way.  I wonder what his favorite baseball team is?

(thanks to Christmas Ape for the tip)

Ashton Kutcher is making a football movie called Traded, a soon-to-be huge piece of shit. From some Hollywood trade paper:

Ashton Kutcher is looking to tackle a football comedy for Paramount Pictures.

Thesp is in final negotiations to star in the sports-themed pic “Traded,” which had been developed at DreamWorks but became the property of Par following DreamWorks’ exit in the fall.

Storycenters on a superstar NFL quarterback and a 12-year-old middle school geek who magically trade bodies, then quickly learn valuable lessons about humility and courage.

Humility and courage. I bet Ashton could get quite a lesson in those virtues from a 12-year-old. And his girlfriend is old! That’s hilarious. He’s a total douchebag that probably snorted meth out of the ass of that dog in that picture. Other than that he’s a great guy.

UPDATE: FilmDrunk did a post on this earlier in the day, with a banner image that’s worth seeing.

[via Sports Pros(e)]