New York Rangers star Sean Avery is famous for two things: wearing Auntie Nelda’s glasses and for battling homophobia in sports by interning at a 500-page perfume ad. Now he gets to be TMZ Famous for being arrested after one of the lamest police officer assault charges of all time.

The first report:

NHL star Sean Avery was arrested early this morning after he shoved a police officer who was trying to break up a loud party at his home in the Hollywood Hills … TMZ has learned.

According to law enforcement sources, a neighbor called police to complain about the noise coming from Avery’s home. When police arrived at about 1:00 AM, we’re told Avery answered the door … then shoved a cop and slammed the door behind him.

Sounds pretty uneventful, right? I wanted to pretend it happened exactly like that; a cop knocks on the door of Sean Avery’s hipster jazz party or masquerade ball or whatever and Avery answers, so the cop’s all “good evening sir I’m with the-” and Avery just shoves him and slams the door. But I guess the story was only getting shared on hockey blogs and wasn’t sensational enough, so a few hours later TMZ peppered it up with drama, name-calling and a celebrity romance flowchart. NHL star Sean Avery challenged cops to a FIGHT (their capitalization, not mine) and called the officers “fat little pigs”. Oh lord.

Sources tell us 31-year-old Avery immediately began running his mouth at the cops — telling them he would fight all of them … even challenging them to, “Come back without your badges.”

During the incident, Avery — who famously dated Elisha Cuthbert a while back — allegedly shoved an officer and slammed the front door on the cops.

We’re told cops began speaking with Avery through the door — and warned him that if he didn’t open the door, they would break it down. That’s when Avery decided to open up and cooperate.

I’m going to share this with you now, in the hopes that TMZ will get enough people talking and won’t have to start reporting the races of the policemen.

"High five for 100,000 volts!"

On Saturday, the Pittsburgh Pirates lost to the Colorado Rockies 6-4 to drop their record to 5-4, giving Pirates fans only one day left in the 2011 season to enjoy being above .500. But the Bucs fans jumped out to an early lead in the Best Drunken Tazings competition, thanks to the Stone Cold Steve Austin lookalike in the video below. Erik from Counting Baseballs caught the footage of a drunken fan in a sweet USA Olympic jacket shoving an usher as he was being escorted from his seats by Pittsburgh’s finest. The elbow led to the police using a Tazer on the unruly fan, and when that didn’t work, it became night stick time. Meanwhile, the crowd chanted, “U-S-A!” and for one night, Philadelphia had lost its crown as the batsh*ttiest sports town in Pennsylvania.

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When I say the name Bobby Leroy Hopkins Jr. I assume that everyone instantly thinks of the champion arm wrestler, because it should just be common sense. Unfortunately, this American hero had a run in with the law over the weekend after his black Infiniti was associated with a possible domestic disturbance in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Cops confronted the competitive strongman and as they tried to put him in cuffs, Hopkins became enraged, turned his hat backwards and tried to head butt the officers.

When all was said and done and the Kenny Loggins song had ended, Hopkins had dug himself a pretty nice hole.

Hopkins, who deputies said stands 6 foot 2 and weighs about 275 pounds, reportedly struggled against being handcuffed. The arrest report quotes him as yelling, “I’m a champion arm wrestler, I can bench press 600 pounds. I’m gonna kick all your [backsides] out.”

Deputies reported using two sets of handcuffs on Hopkins, who was charged with felony resisting arrest with violence. Misdemeanor charges of domestic battery; simple assault on a law officer; and four counts of misdemeanor resisting arrest without violence were also filed against Hopkins, according to the arrest report. (Via Orlando Sentinel)

The report doesn’t indicate if Hopkins has a previous record, but attacking a cop is usually the best way to get some jail time. It is also unknown if Hopkins and the woman he struck have any children, but Robert Loggia has been called just in case.

Video of Hopkins’ awesome* performance at the 2003 National Arm Wrestling Championship after the jump…

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