One of my all-time favorite things to do is scour the depths of Etsy for random crap, because it’s just amazing how much awesomely ridiculous stuff people can create and sell on the Internet these days. But nothing gets my PayPal account pumping more than the sports gear that dedicated Etsy sellers have whipped up, and that’s why I want to devote this new weekly feature to finding my favorite Etsy sports merchandise, starting with that Tim Tebow pillar candle above.
Sure, I just pointed out that Tebow’s got a team of trademark-happy lawyers that are suing people for making things that don’t even mention the New York Jets backup QB’s name, but that’s not going to stop any of us from grabbing one of these $5 candles and letting the Jets fan upstairs know that we’re pushing for Tebow to get the other New York team a Super Bowl win.
After the jump, get in the gift-giving mood, because Etsy’s got every sport covered…
Fewer things were easier to make fun of during the NCAA Tournament than Kentucky Wildcats center Anthony Davis and his incredible unibrow. But while it may seem mean to pick on a kid and his extra misplaced facial hair, it’s important to remember that in just over a month he’ll be a millionaire, as if he wasn’t already better than the people making fun of him. For instance, I suck at basketball but do not have a unibrow, and that does not make us even.
Comedian Joe Mande, though, is not done pointing out the hilarity of Davis’ unibrow, as he recently whipped up some photoshops of the next Tim Duncan as Frida Kahlo paintings. If you’re unfamiliar, Kahlo is the artist who was portrayed by Salma Hayek in the film Frida.
I’m a big sucker for fan art – well, appropriate fan art – and that’s why I’ve been pounding my desk all morning over the news that the world’s biggest patent troll is going after Etsy’s new $40 million investment. But while soulless thieves are going after the sources of the Internet’s showcases for art and inspiration, they’ll thankfully never be able to crush the actual artists. At least not yet. I’m sure they’ll find a way eventually.
Double Scribble is the lovechild of basketball and art; two of Nick Kastner and Mike McGrath’s favorite things in the world. From the coldest, murkiest depths of Cleveland, OH (and now to some extent, some obscure part of North Carolina) Nick and Mike have forged a blog out of blood, sweat and tears in their unwavering vision to provide you, the viewer, with a never ending source of basketball related art.
And it’s pretty awesome. I’ve been shuffling back and forth through its archives since a friend emailed the link last week and there is just a ton of great artwork on this site that has really inspired me to consider re-launching my web comic series, “The Erotic Adventures of a Sports Blogger.” Spoiler alert: it’s sad and gross.
After the jump, I’ve included many of my favorite efforts of Double Scribble’s authors, but I encourage you to check out the submissions that they’ve posted from other artists as well. It’s a highly recommended worm hole to limit your productivity today.
When I was in high school, I tried to saw a surfboard in half and turn the pieces into bookshelves to impress a girl. What I didn’t know was that A) sawing a surfboard in half is freaking ridiculously hard without the right saw and 2) I was a moron and girls hated me. So I was left with two worthless, jagged halves of a surfboard and a newfound burden of poor taste for kitschy decorating that has stuck with me today. What’s that? Hell yeah that original Peaches Records crate would look awesome in my living room!
The other day I was doing my random web surfery when I came across a post on Environmental Graffiti that brought me back to that awkward day in my garage with that rusty saw blade and 47% chance of ripping my ring finger to pieces. It seems there are actually other people out there who know what they’re doing when it comes to salvaging surfboards, skis, snowboards, bikes and even bowling balls and making something useful and creative out of them.
God help me if these images of genuine creativity reignite my desire to turn crap into treasure, resulting in a trip to the emergency room. After all, a man can’t write d*ck jokes with 9 fingers.
From Guyism by way of Gizmodo comes one of the weirdest and most unnecessarily creative videos you’ll see on the Internet not involving a cup or a tub: artist Hong Yi painting a more-or-less lifesize painting of With Leather favorite and adorable panda-handler Yao Ming using nothing but a canvas, a basketball, and a bucket of red paint.
It’s pretty incredible, both in result and execution. Imagine how hard it would be to portraitize Miles Davis using nothing but blue and a trumpet, or the impossibility of dipping your junk into a vat of Sherwin Williams and rubbing out an acrylic of Peter North. Painting basketball guys with a basketball is a great skill. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it’s the greatest kind of skill — the one you have absolutely no reason to use.
I keep restarting the video to see if she’s gonna work a panda into this somewhere.
Save this show, seriously, if that’s a thing any of us can do.
Links
The 90 Best Tumblr Blogs Of 2011 - Pretty sure Buzzfeed has readied at least five of these lists a day for the entirety of December. [Buzzfeed]
The Five Most Awesome Games On a Graphing Calculator - The way we were advancing the technology in AP Calculus back in the day, I figured they’d be playing Mario Kart on those things by now. Whether or not you think graphing calculators are cool is the truest sign of uncoolness. [Gamma Squad]
Perez Hamilton Is The Best Perez Hilton Parody Tumblr EVAR!!! - Totally funny and run by a cute girl from Disney, proving that cute girls from Disney are our greatest asset and can do anything. [UPROXX]
The 10 Television Actresses You Were Most Likely to See Naked in 2011 - I don’t know who convinced Hollywood’s agents that movies are a terrible place to get naked and you have to CGI your breasts but TV is fine. “Next season calls for 19 scenes of buttf**king, that sound like something you’d be interested in?” “SHOAR!” [Warming Glow]
The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 12/5: Zack Ryder All Day Everyday - If you missed it, scroll down one post and read it. Important things are happening with this column! [With Leather]
Do The Source Magazine’s 5 Mics Still Matter? - I guess the white people equivalent to this would be “does Sushi-X’s GamePro score still matter?” And the answer is no, no it doesn’t. [Smoking Section]
Guns, Horses & Insecurities: Reporting From the Set of True Grit XXX - The XXX parody people should delve deeper into John Wayne’s filmography. I mean, The Shootist is probably the easiest thing to porn parody ever. [Film Drunk]
The Cello Skills Are Strong With This Star Wars Fan Video - “This Babylon 5 Fan Is Great At Playing The Recorder”. [Gamma Squad]
The Dozen Funniest Death Scenes In Otherwise Serious Movies -Titanic tops this list for me. I still break out the PUH PUH PUH PUH PROMISE ME RUH RUH RUH ROSE every now and then. [FARK]
Ranking Television’s 10 Best Boobs - Exactly what you think it’s gonna be, but yes, there is also a picture of Alison Brie. [Pajiba]
Time for the X-Men to Get Minimalist - Look at this yellow square! It’s Forge! [Unreality]
The Five Worst Surfing Wipeouts of 2011 - At least three of them were caused by a cursed tiki. [Brobible]
Artist Spots Hidden Animals In Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa - Somewhere in the world Dan Brown just scrolled through our Morning Links, went OH SH*T WHAT and started hyperventilating and scribbling in a notebook. [High Definite]
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