Last week we paid a little tribute to some of the biggest morons and disappointments in sports history – via our love for Kenny Powers and Eastbound and Down – and it would have been a huge oversight to exclude former No. 2 NFL draft pick Ryan Leaf, whose career can best be compared to a colossal dust fart. Throw in the fact that he was arrested in 2009 for illegally obtaining prescription painkillers and that pretty much brought his bust of a post-NCAA life full circle.

And despite proclaiming that the aforementioned arrest actually “saved his life” and helped him turn it all around, Leaf is back in the news for drugs again. This time, he’s being accused of breaking into his neighbor’s houses and stealing pain medication for the past year and a half. If that’s true, his criminal career is already leaps and bounds better than his NFL career.

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Patrick Willis obviously listens to Kenny F*cking Powers.

Kenny Powers isn’t perfect. I know, I spit out my Mountain Dew and bourbon when I wrote that, too. But it’s true. He’s a man who has made mistakes after tasting legend status, and he’s paid the greatest price for his arrogance in taking his God-given talent for granted. America, though, is about second chances and stories of redemption. That’s why when some people see Kenny as a man who hates foreigners, the truth is that he just loves American and feels “that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good.” Patriotism, indeed.

As Kenny continues his baseball renaissance and his climb back to the top, where he will wear the Scream mask all he wants, he has been given the unbelievable honor of becoming the first ever Mother F*cking CEO of K-Swiss. And his appointment is already changing the lives of thousands of professional athletes and millions of aspiring athletes. For once, thanks to Kenny Powers, his incredible motivational speaking ability and his opus, K-Swiss Blades – you’re f*cking in.

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Forgive me for stepping outside the world of sports, but every once in a while I come across a story about my beloved home state of Florida that I can’t help but share with pride. Today’s tale involves Roger Dean Whitt, who was simply trying to do a good deed on Monday morning in the parking lot of Steak N Shake. Instead he was arrested.

And based on this report, it sounds a lot like he was profiled, if you ask me.

Whitt, 59, was wearing makeup that made him look like a masked robber when he approached the trooper at about 4 a.m. Monday outside the Merritt Island restaurant.

Whitt also had an image of a rabbit painted on his cheek.

The Merritt Island man spontaneously insisted the trooper should inspect his bag on his right arm and was charged with possessing drug paraphernalia after the trooper found the pipe, a report said.

It had marijuana residue on it, the report said.

The trooper also found “assorted makeup and other personal products normally used by females.” (Via the Orlando Sentinel)

Excuse me, but if getting a rabbit painted on my face while wearing a vest with no shirt and smoking fake weed is a crime, then I don’t want to be innocent. What has happened to my America?

"Hey Darlene, I found your panties, eh?"

It’s been just over 6 months since the city of Vancouver showed the rest of the world the ugly side of sports, as thousands of pissed off, brain dead sociopaths ransacked their city under the guise of being Vancouver Canucks fans upset that their team lost in the Stanley Cup Finals. The result was hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage to local businesses and city property all because they’re the angry youth and they’ve had it with the man or whatever. I assume Hollywood North isn’t what Time Magazine had in mind when it named “The Protester” the Person of the Year.

But I’m not here to rehash a city’s shameful night, because much credit is due to the Vancouver Police Department, which handed down another 80 charges on 20 more rioters yesterday, bringing the grand total to 80 rioters arrested for 215 charges. And Les Yeo, head of the riot investigation Mounties, says this is far from over.

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Chad Muska seems like a fairly average, affable guy. He’s a pro skateboarder, and he’s the type who goes out to a Coffee Bean at 2 in the morning, spraypaints “MUSKA KILLS” on their windows, then calls the security guards the N-word until someone arrests him on felony charges.

From TMZ, the leader in opportune sports coverage:

Muska was first detained by security at the Roosevelt Hotel around 2AM. Law enforcement sources tell us Muska was seen spray painting his name on a nearby Coffee Bean.

While security guards waited for LAPD officers to arrive — Muska demanded the guards let him go, and called them “ni**as” several times … including one instance in which he said, “Fu** all these ni**as right here.”

LAPD eventually showed up and arrested and booked Muska for felony vandalism — and our sources say Muska had tagging materials on him when he was arrested.

You’d think “skateboarder acts tough defacing a coffee shop, then is racist nutbag” would be the best part of the story, but nope: Element Skateboards, one of Muska’s pro sponsors, is defending him using the oldest and worst white people excuse ever.

A rep for Element Skateboards — Muska’s sponsor since 2006 — tells TMZ, “There is a major difference between n**ga and n***** and it’s totally obvious he is not being racial at all.”

The rep then added “black people can say it to each other and it’s fine, but when I say it it’s racist?” as well as “if you threw a White Pride Parade people would get upset!” before disappearing into the darkness to draw grim reapers and Fear Factory logos all over his sh:tty racist skateboards.

[h/t and insert picture via Off the Bench]

Cincinnati Bengals cornerback and former TNA World Tag Team Champion (seriously, if you’d forgotten) Adam “Pacman” Jones was arrested Sunday in Cincinnati on misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct while intoxicated and resisting arrest, and if you’ve found a way to mimic that noise Pacman makes when he’s killed by a ghost, make it now. Cincinnati media outlets reported documents filed in court accuse Jones of “being disorderly and shouting profanities in a downtown bar and trying to pull away as officers arrested him”. He was jailed at around 3 AM and released later in the morning.

Jones put the Pacman Experience into words more eloquently than I could hope to:

Jones denied the allegations in an interview with WCPO-TV after leaving jail.

“I just had surgery, so why would I be resisting arrest?” said Jones, who was wearing a neck brace. He’s been recovering from a neck injury last fall that required surgery, but he was expecting to play this year.

He said he hadn’t been drinking and was out with his wife to celebrate her birthday.

“It’s ridiculous, man,” he told the TV station. “I keep on going through the same thing, and it don’t make no sense.”

The Yahoo Sports news bit summarizes Pacman’s off-screen troubles as “at least six other arrests and a dozen instances that involved police intervention”, but for some reason it seems more like that. It feels like Pacman just goes to prison, gets out, immediately drives to a club and throws money in the air until somebody walks up and arrests him again. I didn’t realize he was only 27-years old, I thought he was like 48. I barely remembered that he played football.

Also fun,

A Bengals spokesman said the team had no comment on the most recent arrest. The team is prohibited from having contact with Jones because of the NFL lockout.

Maybe that’s for the best. Do everything you don’t want people fining you for or talking about now, football players!