Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino resigned abruptly yesterday to return to the college ranks and coach Arkansas.  Former Arkansas coach Houston Nutt had departed for Ole Miss to take the place of the fired Ed Orgeron, who in my mind is the new front-runner for the Falcons job.  It would just be nice and tidy that way.

Petrino enjoyed remarkable success during his four years at Louisville before jumping ship and taking the reins of the Falcons, signing a five-year, $24M contract.  His main task as coach was to be the first man to make Michael Vick run a consistent, productive offense, but… well, we all know how that ended.

At $2.85M a year, his new Arkansas contract will be a substantial pay cut; however, he'll be saved the public embarrassment of losing most of his games in a pretty awful NFL division and insisting that Warrick Dunn deserves more carries than Jerious Norwood.  I'm obviously not a highly-coveted football coach, but I'd probably give more touches to the guy averaging six yards a carry than the guy averaging two.  Jeriously.

EDSBS: Petrino’s a great hire, a very good coach, and a terrible bet for the long run because he is to coaching slots what Ted Turner is to monogamy. In a perfect world, he really would coach several teams at once via video-conferencing and XBox style playcalling with a stingray-shaped controller.

I asked 289 to put together a photo compilation to help us with all the firings and hirings in the world of college football, and he kindly put together the above image.  As you can see, Houston Nutt's (top left) insane rambling about Darren McFadden couldn't save his job, and Nebraska's Bill Callahan (bottom left) also got the ax.  Also, Mike Sherman (sleeping) has been hired to take over the vacancy at Texas A&M, while Les Miles is widely rumored to be in line for Lloyd Carr's vacated spot at Michigan.

Also in that image, the… um, Duke guy, and… whatshisface from Georgia Tech were fired?  Sure, whatever.  In addition, the depraved intensity that is Ed Orgeron has been banished from the state of Mississippi, while Notre Dame's Charlie Weis has also been dismissed.

What?  No one's fired Weis?  Ten-year extension?  Man I don't understand college football at all.

Rememeber when your high school football coach told you every play was designed to go for a touchdown, and you were like "Yeah, right. A run between the guard and tackle? Or the Dave Wannstedt Draw? Whatever." Well, apparently that kind of dynamic play calling works in the SEC because LSU and Arkansas were carrying the pigskin over the goal line on some of the simplest plays ever devised. Arkansas' fullback ran the ball right through the middle of the line for a 65-yard touchdown in the 3rd quarter. And he's a white guy. Anyway, the Razorbacks defeated the Tigers in 3 overtimes because LSU coach Les Miles pronounced the name of the 25th state incorrectly:

"They weren't saying it right so we wanted to let them know how to say it," [Arkansas RB/QB Darren] McFadden said. 

Ah yes, I've heard they place primary importance on elocution lessons at the University of Arkansas. Enunciating correctly and clearly is very important if you're training for a career that uses a CB radio. Oh well, who will be the new #1 now that LSU has lost? Will Kansas beat Missouri? Will Ohio State benefit from not playing anymore games? Will my bookie let my legs heal before breaking them again? -KD 

So, it's not NFL cheerleaders dressed in Halloween costumes, but I do leave you today with a Halloween post other than the Jon Kitna costume featured everywhere else.  Here are Arkansas football stars Darren McFadden and Felix Jones dressed as Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble.  SPORTSCRACK, the latest blog to overdose on capital letters, writes:

Personally I think it would have been much more humorous if McFadden was dressed as a Falcon and Felix as a Dolphin… Oh wait, they play for Arkansas, they already know what it's like to play for a bad team.

ZING!  I actually like the Fred Flintstone get-up.  Not only is it more appealing than D-Mac in drag, but when you drive a Ford Crown Vic, it's only a matter of time until your ride is foot-powered. 

Today's a banner day for Every Day Should Be Saturday.  Not only was it responsible for finding the brilliant Ohio State mural, but now Orson Swindle shares with us this lovely mid-'90s Ford Crown Victoria, which belong to Razorbacks running back Darren McFadden.

Please note the details in the photos that make this car truly exceptional: the vanity plates, the Razorback decal, the understated 24" (?) rims, and especially the Taco Bell in the background.  Goddam I love Taco Bell.  There's no joke here.  Taco Bell is just really delicious.  I could survive for months on nothing but Double Decker Tacos Supreme.

This is Bubba Hog (not, I'm guessing, his real name). He dances at Arkansas basketball and (I think) football games. I suppose that this is a character he created, a caricature that celebrates some aspect of Arkansasian "culture"… or maybe it's just a fat dude dancing. Either way, our world is a sadder place for it. I hate EDSBS a little bit right now for introducing me to Bubba.

More Bubba Hog available here. You sick bastards.