Arizona defensive end Josh Lewis, a junior walk-on, has been suspended indefinitely after this YouTube of him and a girl at a pool party surfaced.  I don't quite understand why.  I mean, he's just putting his hand up a drunk girl's skirt while she shakes her head "no" and tries to pull his arm away.  Football players are allowed to do that, right?  Isn't that the whole point of being on the football team?  How else are you going to get carte blanche for sexual assault?  … Well, I mean besides Craigslist.

UPDATE: If 'white gurls' was a major, I’d have my master’s degree by now…

[The Dirty] 

Last night I got this email from longtime Internet acquaintance The Dude regarding the McDonald's High School All-America Game, starring Brandon Jennings's haircut:

dude you have to check out Jennings' haircut from the mcdonald's all star game last night. As soon as I saw it I made the House Party comparisons, but those doofus commentators didn't make the connection until after halftime when I'm sure that one of their younger assistants alerted them to the fact. Also, I'm pretty drunk in classic WithLeather fashion and have had to make many deletions/corrections to this e-mail so it makes some sort of sense to you. I hope you're happy with my corrections and I will be satisfied with knowing that I won't be (possibly) crucified on the site for poor grammar like an Alabama/LSU/SEC team of your choice fan. Anyway, I demand a story on the House Party haircut of Jennings on par with the Drew Gooden Duck Tail post.

Welp, here ya go, Dude.  (Nice work on the grammar and corrections, by the way.)  Check it out!  His hair is tall!  Hey, did you ever notice how black people's hair is like this… and white people's hair is like this? 

…What?  Why is everyone looking at me funny?  If the '90s are coming back, then so are jokes from Sinbad's routine.

[SimonOnSports] 

It's been a tough week for Oregon teams: the loss at Arizona, Dennis Dixon's injury, and last night's b-ball upset to St. Mary's.  And here's video evidence that Duck fans have hardly fared better, as we see a young Wildkitten elbow her way to more screen time on ESPN against a hot little Duckling in a tight tee-shirt.

And you just hate to see something like this.  Women shouldn't have to fight like this on TV.  They should settle their differences as God intended: in a shallow pool of Astroglide, wearing nothing but bikini bottoms and threadbare white tee-shirts.

[Mac Gs World] 

Iconic Arizona hoops coach Lute Olson denied that he had Parkinson's disease at his press conference yesterday, dismissing the claim as a "vicious rumor" intended to hurt his recruiting prospects.

"There is absolutely no truth to that statement. If it has been repeatedly on radio stations then I will take the necessary actions that I need to get this stopped," he said. "It is a vicious, vicious rumor. If I need to I will get my physician to make a statement. I don't think anybody deserves that rumor to be circulating… This is the kind of thing you get from people you are recruiting against."

Um, I'm pretty sure it's a fact that all old people have Parkinson's and smell like vinegar, and some old guy with Alzheimer's telling me he doesn't have Parkinson's isn't quite enough for me to believe him.

Besides, can we trust a 72-year-old who chooses to keep working an exhausting job like coaching the college game? If I have the bad luck to still be alive at 72, I'm not doing a damn thing besides sitting on the porch drinking bourbon, yelling at kids, and making off-color remarks about young women. In other words, basically the same thing I do now.

Via Signal to Noise