Tonight is the vice presidential debate between current bro-in-waiting Joe Biden and Paul “HOW MUCH YA BENCH” Ryan. It is the reason that I will have no Parks and Rec tonight. Politics.
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
I hate politics.
NHL: Season Opener
Yeah, I know. Such a dick.
Arizona State wrestler Anthony Robles might always be known as “that one wrestler with one leg.” But as of this past weekend, he’ll have an additional moniker: Champ. Robles, who was born without a right leg, took down the 125-pound title at the NCAA’s national wrestling championships.
Robles won state high-school championships, then a national one. Ignored by many big wrestling colleges, he had gone to nearby Arizona State, where he’d become an All-American and win three Pac-10 titles…The stories of Robles’s training took on a mythical quality—charging up hills with his Sun Devils teammates, bench-pressing 305 pounds, a 125-pound wrestler with upper-body power sculpted by a lifetime on crutches. ESPN swooned.
ESPN actually aired Robles’s title match live, beating last year’s 125-pound champ, Matt McDonough of Iowa, by a 7-1 score. That’s pretty cool. I want to buy him one of those wrestling belts with the spinning WWE logo now. Hey, it’s the least I could do with two functioning legs.
I’ve always found myself more confident after getting a couple Milwaukee’s Best Ices in me, but I don’t think I’ll have half the stones as the old man in this video does, when I get to be his age. He got a little tipsy while tailgating the Arizona State-Oregon game this weekend, and took that as his opportunity to try and cop some coed tail. They seemed into it too, at least until they realized he was trying to bang them. No amount of Xanex-laden jungle juice could get them to sleep with that guy. “Would you ladies like to come back to my van and hear stories about the Civil War?” is a terrible pick up line. It’s almost as bad as “does this smell like chloroform to you?” Read the rest of this entry »
Busted Coverage has brought to our attention the plight of former Arizona State softball player Bianca Cruz. Apparently the job market in kinesiology is drying up and Bianca needs to forge another career path, so she’s looking for enough votes to land a spread in Maxim until the economy gets better. At least that’s what she probably told her father. See the whole gallery at BC. See my faves here. And vote for Bianca over at Maxim, unless you’re like me and you hate the Pac-10 with an irrational passion.
Leave it to the Pac-10 Conference to lead the charge of progressive language in women’s basketball. Someone should tell Arizona State coach Charli Turner Thorne that if she’s gonna say something dirty in a halftime tirade that’s being captured on videotape, she should just go ahead and say it. You can’t filter out the word and then expect your message to have the same effect. Poop, pee-pee, bush, make love to, wiener, tinkle, mommy’s special friend, and boobies just don’t carry the load of anger and frustration the same way. What, do you feel vindicated having said poop?
How did the Sun Devils do in the second half? Read the rest of this entry »
This undated photo of members of the ASU volleyball team comes via creepy yet efficient Don Chavez, and from it we can draw a stunning revelation: some undergraduate college students may imbibe alcohol. If you can call Sour Apple Pucker alcohol.
Ever the inquisitive gumshoe, I went looking for the ASU volleyball roster to try to determine if these are current members of the team or former members or just random girls who happen to be decked out in ASU volleyball gear. And after a lot of clicking back and forth and careful examination, the answer to whether they’re on the team is a resounding maybe. I dunno. Some of ‘em look like matches, but they do things like hold their heads at different angles and wear their hair in different ways, so it’s hard to tell. And of course all white girls look the same.
Anyway. It’s hard to get riled up about some ASU coeds drinking when Matt Leinart’s not involved.
