Because there simply aren't enough rebuses on sports blogs, With Leather brings you the above image in honor of the NLCS's Game 3 hero.  Game 4 is tonight at delicious frost-brewed Coors Field, and I really don't see the point of the Diamondbacks even showing up.  Even if they win, they still have to face God's appointed team for three more games… and Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson are not walking through that door.

Elsewhere in baseball playoff news, Daisuke Matsuzaka gets the start against Jake Westbrook in Game 3 of the ALCS, the first game in Cleveland since Midgefest '07 did in Joba Chamberlain.  You can catch all the Dane Cook-hyped excitement on TBS, the only station that gives you the critical information of how far someone is leading off of first base.

There is, after all, only one October.  Unless you count October Gonzalez or have one of those defective calendars (lousy Smarch weather!).

The Colorado Rockies won their 19th game out of 20 last night, defeating the Arizona Diamondbacks in Game 2 of the NLCS 3-2.  It appeared that the Mountains had finally lost their momentum when the Serpents tied the game in the bottom of the 9th, but D-Backs closer Jose Valverde walked in the winning run in the top of the 11th, thus informing us all that the geological process of flat subduction cannot be stopped by a split-finger fastball. 19 out of 20 – wow!  Do you realize that the last time the Rockies lost 2 games in a row a gallon of gasoline cost $2.89?  And milk didn't even come in gallons back then, you had to buy it by the gill or the firkin.  Sliced bread?!? Ha, don't make me laugh.

In ALCS action, Boston pounded C.C. Sabathia and the Cleveland Indians 10-3.  Serves that condescending hurler right.  Who does he think he is, a Madison Avenue vice president?  If the Red Sox can win this series, they can finally avenge their loss in the 1948 one-game playoff that decided the AL pennant.  The can also avenge their idea to dress up like Native Americans.  It's called the Boston Tea Party people – look it up! -KD 

Despite a four-game break between series, the Rockies won yet a-fucking-gain last night, taking Game 1 of the NLCS from Arizona by a 5-1 score.  Lefty Jeff Francis earned the win, while Colorado got through to D-Backs ace Brandon Webb by stringing a bunch of singles together.

Hey, did anyone watch the game?  Could you just leave a long comment that recaps the entire game for me?  Because there was something about a disputed interference call that resulted in the fans going batshit and throwing water bottles onto the field, and it seems like a lot of effort to make it sound like I know what went on with that.  But hey, I found a picture of it.  That counts for something, right?

But still: an angry Arizona crowd.  I like that.  You don't often see that from fan bases who can't even sell out a playoff game in advance.  Kudos, Arizona.  I didn't know you cared.

Surprise!  The Chicago Cubs will not make it to the World Series as the Arizona Diamondbacks completed the sweep in the NLDS last night.  It's a shame because I haven't talked to my North Side relations this much since I called them with pleasant greetings at the end of October 2005.  Anyway, the deck was stacked against the Cubbies because look what the Chase Field Kiss Cam caught in Game 2:

The Rockies also completed their sweep of the Phillies, so the NLCS will match God's team against the serpents.  It will surely be more exciting than Paradise Lost – John Milton was a hack.  A hack, I say! (Cubs fans can wallow in misery to this lonesome loser's tune if they wish.) -KD

{AZSportsHub.com} 

A quick look at yesterday's playoff action…

Red Sox 4, Angels 0 — Josh Beckett tossed a four-hit shutout, retiring 19 straight batters after allowing a leadoff single in the first, while home runs by Kevin Youkilis and David "Large Father" Ortiz powered the Boston offense.  Beckett now has two shutouts in 166 regular season starts and three in six postseason starts.  Way to tank the regular season, jerk.

Rockies 4, Phillies 2 — The NL's highest-scoring teams met in Philly's cozy home park, but neither generated much offense.  Jeff Francis got the win as Phillies stars "Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins combined to go 0-for-11 with eight strikeouts."  Ouch.

D-Backs 3, Cubs 1 — Carlos Zambrano is crazy, but he wasn't crazy enough to go past the sixth inning.  The Cubs' bullpen got tagged with the two decisive runs as Brandon Webb pitched seven sterling innings in his playoff debut.  Steve Bartman not spotted, still the source of several jokes.

First things first:  Daisuke Matsuzaka won his 15th game last night as the Boston Red Sox defeated the Minnesota Twins to clinch the AL East, their first division title since 1995.  Whoop-di-fucking-do, the Yanks are still in the playoffs.  By my calculations, Dice-K will only pitch a maximum of 6 more games (unless he's ridden like Grover Cleveland Alexander), so soak up the Yoko goodness sexy readers.  Does the NFL have any Japanese players?

And now the thrilling events of a mediocre league: the Philadelphia Phillies beat the mighty Washington Nationals thanks to the inspired pitching of Cole Hamels and another great catch by Aaron Rowand thus securing their 12th victory in 15 games.  Meanwhile in Queens where David Wright forgot what a force out was, the Mets lost for the 11th time in 15 tries as the Florida Marlins beat them 7-4.  The boys from Flushing were 7 games up on the Phils on September 12th, but now they find themselves 1 game behind with 2 to play . . . the Chicago Cubs bested the Cincinnati Reds 6-0 and Alfonso Soriano actually had an outfield assist.  The Cubs captured the NL Central courtesy of the San Diego Padres triumph over the Milwaukee Brewers.  Congratulations on winning the toughest division in sports – it must have been due to Dr. Venkman's dugout visit . . . and the Arizona Diamondbacks did something.  They either won the NL West or clinched a share of it or the Wild Card – something.  Anyway, whatever they did, it was good.  I think.  I was drunk when Fernando Vina explained it, and I also thought he instructed me to go to the gentleman's club through the pictocube. -KD