When we last talked on Friday, we were discussing the intricacies of foul ball etiquette, juxtaposed with infant mentality in adult sports fans and subsequent child entitlement. Or we were talking about dicks who steal foul balls from kids, but that first one sounds fancier. Either way, it all started with the story of 12-year old Arizona Diamondbacks fan Ian McMillan, who was praised for his selflessness and generosity after he gave a ball tossed into the stands by Rickie Weeks to a kid who cried his eyes out after he dropped it.

As we discussed, McMillan appeared to have been urged by a stadium attendant to give the ball to the other kid, but it’s old news now, because the D-Backs don’t care. They think McMillan is pretty cool, and they rightfully rewarded the hell out of him. Before Friday night’s game against the Colorado Rockies, McMillan was presented his very own team jersey by manager Kirk Gibson in a special press conference. Then he even got to throw out the first pitch. Meanwhile, that other kid probably cried.

McMillan’s thoughts and awesomeness after the jump.

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Two times in his career as a Major League Baseball player, current Arizona Diamondbacks manager Kirk Gibson turned down invitations to play in the All-Star Game. Even though one of those invites came from his Detroit Tigers manager, Sparky Anderson, Gibson still declined because he wanted to spend time with his family and rest, which is unique because most players tend to embrace the spotlight, even as a coach’s selection or just a mandatory addition.

Apparently Gibson’s refusals all those years ago really pissed his dad off and now the son wants to make things right. Gibson will appear in his first-ever All-Star Game, this time as a coach, per the invite of San Francisco Giants and National League All-Stars manager Bruce Bochy.

During spring training, Gibson sat in his office and recounted some of the talks he had with his father about declining his two All-Star invitations. But even in late February, he knew he would be on Bochy’s coaching staff at this year’s game. Bochy and Gibson had talked about it all winter.

“Old man, you’re finally going to get your wish,” Gibson said, gazing up at the ceiling.

Robert Gibson grew up during the Great Depression and couldn’t play baseball as a youth. He was too busy pulling a red wagon and hawking vegetables or selling newspapers.

“He lived his childhood, I think,” Gibson said, “through me.” (AZ Central)

*pauses Field of Dreams, puts down little league trophy, throws cell phone out the window, wipes eyes*

Ha, what a bunch of sissy boys!

So I got an email from the Arizona Diamondbacks last night, and they were all, “Hey, we did one of those videos where everyone lip syncs to a song and we did it all in one take and some of our players are in it, even though most people won’t recognize their names.” And all I could think was, “Why the hell are you guys working in December?” But yeah, the video’s not bad, even though it’s a total shill job for selling tickets for Christmas. The effort is there, although that little girl is a terrible actress and the guy at the end is waaay too excited. If the Coyotes would have done this, they probably wouldn’t have to move.

You can watch it here. Or wait until teams learn how to enable embedding. Wow, that sounded really passive-aggressive. But no, Andy Warhol’s not in the video. They did not give a reason why.

Former Arizona Diamondback Eric Byrnes will earn $11 million this season, even though that team just gave him his release earlier in the year. So you think he’d reflect on his time in the bigs, maybe engage the community in a different way, or even work on lining up a gig in broadcasting. Nope, he’s going to play softball.

That’s right, the man the Arizona Diamondbacks are paying $11 million this year in the final year of a three-year deal is going to star for a team sponsored by Dutch Goose, a burger and beer pub in Menlo Park, Calif.

“This is going to be a blast,” he said. “Playing with my buddies. I can’t wait for my first hit. I’m going to ask for the ball.” –MLB.com, via Joe Sports Fan.

Byrnes also runs a clothing business with his wife, which is good, because it’s obvious that softball players have no idea how to dress. Ever been to an adult softball game? It’s like a post-apocalyptic Halloween out there.

It’s almost hard to believe that San Francisco Giants pitcher Randy Johnson is on his sixth major league team, and almost harder to believe that the Big Unit is still commissioned for service. Johnson, who has gone six innings or more in only 3 of his 10 starts this season, might be doing little more than to secure 300 wins and 5,000 strikeouts, the de facto magic numbers to secure enshrinement in Cooperstown. He could hit that former milestone tonight in DC with a win against the Nationals (if it ever stops raining). Just don’t expect any of his old teammates from Arizona to care. From Yahoo! Sports:

“I think he’s respected, certainly, in there,” said former Diamondbacks player, current television analyst and one-time Johnson teammate Mark Grace. “But I don’t think he’s going to get a big congratulatory card from these guys when he wins 300.”

When asked about Johnson, starting pitcher Dan Haren shook his head. “I don’t really have anything for you,” he said. “I didn’t really know him. Wish I did.” Haren shared a clubhouse and a rotation with Johnson for seven months.

When asked about Johnson, third baseman Mark Reynolds stumbled. “Uh, you know, it was just like playing behind any other pitcher,” he said. Except, of course, if a ball got by you. “Well, the way he reacts sometimes, it could irk guys, irritate guys,” he said. “You can’t take what he does or says to heart, though. That’s just Randy.”

I’m shocked that a 6-foot-9-inch guy with that mug didn’t do a better job of networking. I’m always impressed that athletes tend to be apathetic toward other athletes in the same way that I’m apathetic toward athletes in general. I can only imagine the reaction from San Fran, where Johnson has been for all of two months; but notching his 300th win might be good enough to help Giants fans forget about this guy: Read the rest of this entry »

Not that it's surprising at this point, but the Rockies won yet again last night to sweep the Diamondbacks and earn their first-ever ticket to the World Series.  As you surely know, the Rox have now won 21 of their last 22, and sometime over the next week before the World Series begins, you can expect God to change that one loss to a win just because it's easier to say they've won 22 straight.

Game details: All the damage was done with two outs in the bottom of the fourth.  Rookie Seth Smith placed a dying bloop double just inside the left field line to score two, then an error by first baseman Conor Jackson kept the inning alive for Kaz Matsui to get an RBI single.  The next time I looked up, series MVP Matt Holliday hit a three-run homer to make it 6-1, and Coors Field was going apeshit.  I'm not really sure why Arizona bothered playing another five innings.

Oh yeah, and the Indians beat the Red Sox 4-2 last night, too.  Dice-K got the loss, so Rocky Fan Jesus got image priority for the baseball round-up.  Nevertheless, if you need a Yoko picture to complete your morning, here ya go.  NOTE: Rocky Fan Jesus does not approve of that photo.