Last night, the St. Louis Cardinals were able to avoid falling into a season-long 2-game losing streak by defeating the Arizona Diamondbacks 6-1 on the strength of the longball and Jaime Garcia’s return to “good enough” after shoulder surgery. But none of that matters right now, because one of my all-time favorite things that can ever happen at a baseball game took place in the top of the 7th inning after Pete Kozma hit a home run to center field.

A male fan, enjoying the game with his special gal, saw the ball approaching them and he promptly stood in front of his babe, extended his arm and caught the ball before presenting it to her as a token of his love. JUST KIDDING. He jumped away like a frightened rabbit and the ball hit her in the head!

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Not the bees! AHHHHHHH Ahgarbulagabah my eyes! my eyes! AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHhhhurgh!

Coors Field and the Colorado Rockies were overrun by a swarm of bees during Thursday afternoon’s game against the Arizona Diamondbacks, and because DenverPost.com used “Coors Field was buzzing” and “bee-lieve it” puns in the first two sentences of their report, I’ll let them handle the recap:

In the fifth inning, a swarm of bees staked claim to a post in a camera well near the Rockies’ dugout. The sudden invasion by the winged creatures sent Rockies players scurrying to the opposite end of the dugout.

The game was halted briefly when Diamondbacks first-base coach Eric Young Sr. was forced away from his position, and photographers and TV cameramen fled the bees. The players never left the diamond.

Here’s the video, if you’re into plague footage:

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He asked Domino’s if he could keep the ball, but they said “no”. The best part is either the terrified lady to his left who can’t enjoy what’s happened even after it’s done, or the slow reveal of the guy behind him with his fingers in his ears. (via Yardbarker)

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Links

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Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: Tom Cruise Climbs Michael Fassbender’s Amazing Bulk |Film Drunk|

Holy Crap, Rick Ankiel |With Leather|

Four Comics Miniseries You Should Be Reading Right Now |Gamma Squad|

Which of These Six Shows Would You Most Want to See on AMC? |Warming Glow|

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The Arizona Diamondbacks padded their now 7-game lead in the National League West over the weekend by taking 2 of 3 from the defending world champion San Francisco Giants. But all was not gloom and doom for Giants fans on Sunday, as the team hosted Star Wars Day, complete with a Brian Wilson carbonite figurine giveaway. Sadly, they opted to not run with the Pablo Sandoval the Hut action figures.

The game’s umpires were escorted onto the field by storm troopers, while fans pointed and yelled, “Haha, they’re the reason our season has been a huge letdown!” And sure, Arizona is 9-1 over the last 10 with a 3-game winning streak while the Giants sputter, but if all else fails, San Fran can just call up George Lucas and ask him to rewrite the game.

Some of the game’s costume highlights after the jump.

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The Arizona Diamondbacks let Charlie Sheen take batting practice prior to yesterday’s 5-3 win over the New York Mets, and while it’s bad enough that people continue to pay attention to his depressing antics, the reason that he was there is even worse – he’s trying to get into shape for Major League 4. And this isn’t one of those “I’m getting a show on HBO” rumors that he likes to make up. This is for real.

I had heard this rumor earlier in the year – that Sheen, Corbin Bernsen and even Wesley “I was too good for Major League 2 but Lord knows I need the money now” Snipes were on board for another installment, and even the first film’s writer and director, David S. Ward, was down. Apparently the plot will involve the Cleveland Indians signing a washed up, burn out Rick Vaughn to mentor a wild rookie, who may or may not be Wild Thing’s son. The only potential in this idea is to show Willie Mays Hayes as a universally-loathed HGH addict in denial. Other than that, no. Just no.

Even the gods have stepped in and showed their disapproval, as Sheen ruptured the ulnar nerve in his elbow during batting practice. And if that isn’t bad enough, even Juggalos hate Sheen. Seriously. Juggalos.

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Remember the young “Good Samaritan” Arizona Diamondbacks fan who selflessly gave a ball to a crying little boy who’d dropped it? Well, that kid has taken the next step toward officially becoming Quiz Kid Donnie Smith by appearing on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” alongside the whimpering little reprobate to continue receiving prizes and accolades for a common act of human decency that just so happened to be caught on camera. The boys (who sound like Harry Potter characters: Ian McMillan and Nicholas Goodfellow) got some We Say The Darnedest Things laughs from the studio audience and were given not only season tickets to the remaining Diamondbacks games, but Jimmy Kimmel “baseball hall of fame” plaques denoting them as “Kid Who Gave A Ball To Another Kid” and “Kid Who Was Given A Ball By Another Kid”.

Check out the video below, with a tip of the autographed bat to Big League Stew.

I’ve got to ask, if the Good Samaritan kid is the one who made the grand gesture, why does the crying kid keep getting applauded, too? Good Samaritan gets an autographed bat, crying kid gets a bat. Good Samaritan kid gets to be on TV and get gifts because he did something cool, so the crying kid gets to come along and get lumped in. People (including Kimmel) tell Ian how happy they are that good things are happening to him, but barely-conscious crybaby Nicholas is getting all those good things, PLUS he’s got a Rickie Weeks ball from that Diamondbacks game. Just watch them, Ian is smiling, Nicholas doesn’t give a sh**. Doesn’t seem fair.

I guess Ian’s big reward when all this is said and done is not having his 15 minutes of fame be “I was a little bitch once and got presents”.