I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong about something, so I had no problem making fun of myself yesterday while Ray Rice made me and the Pittsburgh Steelers look incredibly foolish. In fairness, my fantasy football rankings were doomed because I wrote them too early, since I would clearly never take Arian Foster and his hamstring with the first pick, but more importantly because Rice was going to benefit from the disappearances of Willis McGahee, now ruining Knowshon Moreno’s value in Denver, and Le’Ron McClain, who of course joined Jamaal Charles in Kansas City.

With that said, I’ve never claimed to be an expert. So I tip my cap to those of you who nabbed Rice in the Top 5 because it’s pretty clear that he, LeSean McCoy, and maybe even Matt Forte are poised to become the cream of the RB crop this year. That is, if every player in the league isn’t on the injured reserve by Week 4.

Then again, it’s also only Week 1, so I shouldn’t be crowning anyone. But if Rice and his 149 all-purpose yards and 2 TDs against the Pittsburgh Steelers don’t impress you, then I guess you are more foolish than I.

In an announcement akin to holding a Christmas present that feels like it’s jeans and opening it to find out that, yep, it’s jeans, the Carolina Panthers have made rookie Cam Newton their official Week 1 starter against the Arizona Cardinals. To date, Newton has thrown one (1) 10-yard touchdown pass in handful of preseason appearances, but according to Panthers head coach Ron Rivera, that speaks for itself.

“It speaks for itself,” Rivera said. “With what Cam’s done and the direction we’re headed with this football team, in all honesty he is our starter. He is going to grow as a starter and we’re going to grow as a football team. It’s not just about him. It’s about the rest of us growing in our system.

“We didn’t draft Cam to the be savior. We drafted him to help lead this football team.”

Derek Anderson will be his back-up, with Jimmy Clausen sitting in the locker room somewhere practicing his John 16:33 facepaint, because Carolina totally needed a Tim Tebow that no one wants.

Unless you count the time he sang Justin Bieber in public, nothing about Cam Newton’s preseason was damning. Normal rookie mistakes, like locking onto receivers early, throwing into double-coverage and not being able to accurately hit a three-man target. He’s got a strong arm, he moves well and he looks more confident every time he plays … and if the Panthers really wanted the lowest-possible-rent Michael Vick, why not go ahead and start him?

“I did but I didn’t expect anything given to me. It doesn’t stop here. I can’t sit back and say I’ve arrived because we have a long way to go,” said Newton.

Some people are looking at the situation a little differently.

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Arizona Cardinals defensive lineman Darnell Dockett is the reason why the @Storytime series exists. It began with him live-blogging a run-in with police and has featured his in-depth thoughts on the Casey Anthony murder trial with only enough time to buy an alligator between.

Lucky for us, Dockett continues to find himself in Tweetable situations — this time he accidentally brought a gun to a Cardinals practice facility in Arizona, realized his mistake, tweeted about it, and got upset when more than one person said “why are you carrying a gun everywhere”. He compares himself to Sean Taylor, explicitly explains which guns his has and where he keeps them, and the story ends with him vowing to protect his family by buying … well, I don’t want to ruin it for you.

Please enjoy our continuing journey through the mind of an extremely sane man with @Storytime, after the jump.

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In what slowly developed into the most boring and worthless trade saga of this lockout-shortened NFL offseason, the Miami Dolphins finally told the Denver Broncos to F off in regard to Kyle Orton. Various outlets reported that the Dolphins wanted to send two late draft picks to Denver much like the Minnesota Vikings did for Donovan McNabb (two 6th rounders), but Denver wanted compensation along the lines of what the Arizona Cardinals gave for Kevin Kolb (Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie and a 2nd rounder).

Gee, which option did the Dolphins choose for a guy whose offensive numbers came mostly from playing behind?

[Matt] Moore, who spent the previous three seasons with the Carolina Panthers, arrives in Miami today to sign a contract worth $5 million with incentives that could push it as high as $7.5 million.

The incentives are mostly playing-time based, which means Moore would have to unseat incumbent starter Chad Henne, who threw for 3,301 yards and 15 scores while leading the Dolphins to a 7-9 record. (Via Oregon Live and PFT)

This story is boring, I know, but I’m using it to point out that nothing has changed. The lockout may have resolved the Collective Bargaining Agreement issues and ensured the league’s future for the next decade, but it didn’t do anything to solve the stupidity. Arizona gave up a good defensive player and a 2nd rounder for a guy who is unproven, and then they paid him $22 million in guaranteed coin. That’s a brand new precedent set, and Denver bit on it. Of course, it bit Denver in the ass, too, but just wait until Philadelphia signs Vince Young and then trades him next year. All over again.

Arizona Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett is a Renaissance Man. In the last week and a half he’s live-blogged a run-in with the police and purchased an alligator as a response to almost being bitten by one. Now, the only man to date to use wealth and social media properly is live-blogging his own response to the Casey Anthony trial, a trial America has been forced to follow in detail whether they want to or not thanks to the bumrush of television and online coverage. Seriously, it’s everywhere. I opened up my copy of Great Expectations and found an illustrated chart of Casey’s imaginary friends folded up and crammed inside.

So begins part two of our Darnell Dockett @Storytime series. A couple of warnings: this is reproduced from Dockett’s Twitter, so beware some foul language and adult situations even if the heavier stuff is edited. Also, there is a picture of Dockett’s son in some extremely small pajamas. And he’s trying to go to sleep in them! But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Please enjoy a recap of (and a shared emotional response to) the Casey Anthony trial courtesy of a guy who owns an alligator and knows Kim Kardashian.

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Arizona Cardinals defensive lineman Darnell Dockett is starting to represent his own branch of Darwinism. After live blogging multiple run-ins with the police he’s decided to fully chronicle his descent into off-season lockout madness by almost being eaten by a wild animal, then buying one.

The story begins logically enough, with Dockett wandering the Florida Everglades. His tweet of, “I’m out here messing with these gators in everglades! This mofo almost bit me!” was accompanied by a picture of said mofo. Having lived in South Florida myself, I know the proper response to almost being eaten by one of these things is to say “jesus christ” out-loud and move to Ohio. Dockett responded by buying his own alligator (pictured above) and telling everybody about how he’s going to take it to work.

If Dockett’s offseason continues at this pace, I expect him to be lost in the Old West battling aliens by the end of the Summer. Worst case scenario, we log on to Twitter and find out who’d win a fight between an alligator and a policeman.

[via Twitter]