Sometimes I think back to when I was in college, and how I had to hide my copies of Maxim, FHM and Stuff when they arrived in the mail each month, because otherwise my bros and friends would steal them and I’d never get to read the hilarious jokes, check out the latest witty t-shirts or appreciate the bikini-clad women who had already appeared naked in Playboy but felt like reaching a slightly-less-perverted demographic. Man, those were much simpler times.

Now, I like to think that I’ve evolved a little more and am what my peers at the wine bars refer to as progressive. Those subscriptions to Maxim and FHM have been replaced by a growing collection of books that I often stare at and think, “I really should read one of those”, and the witty t-shirts have been replaced by plain t-shirts.

But it’s still kind of nice to know that even when I think that I’ve matured and have become a reasonable, intelligent adult, that can all be shot to sh*t by one magazine cover featuring Brittney Palmer and Arianny Celeste. You can take the bro out of the college, but never the college out of the bro.

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At 23-34, the Toronto Raptors aren’t having a great season, by any means, but they’re still only 4.5 games out of the 8th playoff spot in the mostly terrible NBA Eastern Conference. Despite the lingering possibility of playoff hopes, Raptors fans shouldn’t get too excited about basketball in late April, so they should just be happy that Rachel McAdams was on hand to watch the Raptors lose to the 18-37 Washington Wizards last night.

I don’t mean to be a dick to Toronto fans, though, but I think the NBA should imply new rules about the attractiveness of female celebrities at courtside. Like, the Raptors aren’t the worst team in the NBA, but they don’t deserve McAdams. Maybe Avril Lavigne.

Also, Selena Gomez can’t sit courtside for Lakers games until they’re at least in a playoff spot. Until then, the Lakers can only have Amanda Bynes. And Kirstie Alley will sit next to me at Magic games. I think I’m on to something here.

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It has been an incredible year for the Turbo Rocket.

The UFC is taking a huge step forward with tomorrow’s UFC 157 PPV event, as it will obviously mark the first time in the company’s history that women will fight. And not only will they fight, but two women are actually headlining this huge PPV, as first-ever UFC Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey will face Liz Carmouche. Naturally, we’re going to get to how momentous of an occasion this is later today with the primer for our live discussion tomorrow night, so in the meantime we’re going to address our other favorite UFC women – Brittney Palmer and Arianny Celeste.

Palmer, the reigning Ring Girl of the Year, and Celeste, the Ring Girl of the Year every year before Palmer, are launching their own product line, which is what that meet and greet thing is about, and because there is a God, it’s a lingerie line. And because God loves me so much, Palmer and Celeste made a video to promote their new lingerie line, and if you’ll excuse me I’ll be in this bathtub full of ice water for the next week or so.

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It’s Katherine Webb’s ass in case you’re confused as to what Ndamukong Suh is watching. Some people might think it’s inappropriate for a man to stare at a girl’s ass like that, but when you’re Ndamukong Suh and you have a history of stomping on guys or kicking them in the balls, I’m cool if you’d rather not hurt people with your inhuman strength.

Sure, AJ McCarron probably doesn’t like Suh or any other gigantic professional athletes staring at his girlfriend, but that’s the chance we take when Brent Musberger turns them into sex symbols with his magical old pervert drool.

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Okay, so this is the latest edition of ‘FilmStrip,’ a YouTube show where you have to answer trivia questions about whatever to get UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste to take off her clothes. It’s great and all, and you can watch the video after the jump, but I’ve got a couple of problems with it.

1. Arianny Celeste’s job is to be in a bikini. That’s what she does for a living. It’s actually kind of unique to see her wearing clothes at all. Why am I answering questions for the prize of seeing her look like she always looks? If I’m a Harry Potter fan, shouldn’t I be more excited to see her in a sexy Harry Potter Halloween costume than in a bikini?

2. Arianny Celeste has been in Playboy, nipple freckle and all, and it is maybe the easiest thing in the world to type “arianny celeste playboy” into Google and see like 45 pictures from it. That’s not to discount the joy of seeing her in a Maxim-style photoshoot or whatever (like this one, where she posed with soccer balls), but man, I don’t want to have to WORK for it.

3. Arianny Celeste reading Harry Potter facts from a cue card is sub-Olivia Munn levels of nerd pandering. It’s like when AOL FanHouse brought in fantasy football girls, and they were like AND NOW HERE IS STORY BOUT OAKLAND RADDERS and the world just went enghhhh.

Anyway, yes, I am stupid for worrying about any of that. Here is Arianny Celeste asking you how much you know about Harry Potter.

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You know this is an Arianny Celeste Halloween video because she put on black lipstick and stood in front of some ghosts. Eh, I’m not complaining. Happy Halloween, everybody. (via AriannyCeleste)

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Links

A Comprehensive Guide To Halloween Costumes From This Year’s TV Shows |Warming Glow|

35 Pop Culture Pumpkins For The Coolest Porches Around |UPROXX|

Keanu Reeves is awesome, may only own one outfit |Film Drunk|

Bro Wanders On To High School Football Field, Begs To Be Pummeled, Promptly Is |With Leather|

The Best Of The Venture Brothers |Gamma Squad|

Idris Elba To Possibly Star As The Next James Bond |Smoking Section|

Jay Cutler To Grow Whiskers, Because He Is A Cat |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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