Lately, we’ve been trying to focus more on the positive side of sports news and gossip, which means more Dirk Nowitzki dressed up as Dr. Satan for the benefit of children or Daniel Bryan letting a little boy with cancer tap him out and less TMZ comparing women to sows. Even that had Kate Upton pictures in it. This trend will probably reverse when the new year drops and suddenly everybody has a sex tape, but for now, it’s a good thing.

In the spirit of positivity, here’s my favorite story of the day — a young Houston Texans fan became concerned when Arian Foster left the team’s 23-6 loss to the Minnesota Vikings early with an irregular heartbeat, so she decided to write him a letter to tell him he’s the best player on the team, and that she hopes his heart feels better. And she drew the logo!

As cute as that is, what makes the story truly great (and different from the time I wrote a letter to Cal Ripken Jr. when I was four with an enclosed macaroni & cheese baseball card and did not/have not heard back from him in almost 30 years) is the fact that Foster saw the letter, and took to Twitter to respond. He didn’t draw any logos, but it’s almost as adorable:

Read the rest of this entry »

This is how he threw all game.

The toughest part of the Thanksgiving week of NFL action for us fantasy football addicts has to be the three days off between games. Sure, we have Thursday games every week, but that typically means that we have one or maybe two guys playing at most. When you have six of the NFL’s best teams playing on Thanksgiving, though, you’re talking half of an entire fantasy roster in some cases. That means if your players have bad games, you’re stuck staring at those piss poor stats for the next several days and wondering what the hell went wrong.

Even worse, you’re left breaking down the stats and scenarios for what you still need to win, and that blows, because your opponent probably still has seven or eight players left against you, and by Sunday morning you’re curled up in a ball next to your toilet, mumbling, “Please don’t kill me, Doug Martin… oh God, please don’t kill me.” And then, of course, he f*cking kills you.

Once again, pull up your chair, because we have plenty of fantasy football issues to work out in this week’s group therapy.

Read the rest of this entry »

My favorite part of this past fantasy football Sunday was a Tweet from ESPN’s resident guy who points out the obvious, Darren Rovell, about Jacksonville Jaguars QB Chad Henne only being owned in .5% of ESPN fantasy leagues. Well, no sh*t, Sherlock. If you were in my league and you had Henne on your bench, you’d either have to be the biggest Jags homer on the planet or every QB that you had on your roster has died this season. And if you started him, I’d tie you to a wooden pole and burn you for witchcraft.

But as always, that’s the fun of fantasy football hindsight. It’s easy for Rovell and Co. to wag their fingers and shout, “I can’t believe nobody had the fortitude to pick this guy up!” Now they get to snort and chortle while their colleagues in the fantasy expert division bang their computers with rocks and try to figure out what went wrong.

This is where we join them, in the With Leather Fantasy Football Support Group, to complain about the guys who either unexpectedly spanked us or those who let us down beyond belief.

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t ask for much in this life, other than an ageless super model girlfriend who poops million dollar bills, but if Houston Texans RB Arian Foster could grab me about 160 yards and 4 touchdowns against the Jets’ horrible run defense tonight, that would be groovy like a disco movie.

Monday Night Football: Houston Texans at New York Jets – 8:30 PM ET on ESPN

Tonight marks the 666th edition of Monday Night Football, and of course it involves the New York Jets and Tim Tebow. I’m almost excited to hear how many horrible jokes Chris Berman makes about it in the hours leading up to kickoff. The over under is 12 bad jokes… wait, 12? Like the number of apostles? The end is here! I cast a biblical plague upon your houses!

Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve got a big weekend ahead of us, boys and one girl who reads this site, and while I unfortunately can’t highlight everything, I can help you pick out what will be worth your while. And yes, that’s my way of saying that I will shortly be telling you what time the Oregon game will be on tomorrow so you can sit in your favorite recliner with a pizza box on your lap.

Women’s Volleyball: Florida State at Miami – 7:30 PM ET on ESPNU

I know, it’s not football, but for those of you who follow me on Twitter – at least through the Olympics – you know how much work I do to raise awareness for #volleyballbutts. It’s a very serious issue in this country. Don’t believe me? See for yourself…

Read the rest of this entry »

Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson’s rap debut is here and it’s got all the football references you’d expect from a football guy rapping, including “she opened up her shirt like Cam New” and the oddly-appropriate-for-comparing-football-to-sex hashtag “lights out, Shawne Merriman”.

Additional sample lyric:

I’m sayin’ let’s
go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
I’m sayin’ let’s
go go go go go go go go go go go go go go

Players View puts it as bluntly as possible, saying Run It Back is “on-par musically with what’s out there with it’s rolling snares and sparse instrumentation”. In layman’s terms, that means “it’s not really great, but it doesn’t sound like Must Be The Money”.

Most of the references work, too, except for the one about how Johnson “Superman’d in her like Cam do”. If we’re going by the Soulja Boy definition of Supermanning a hoe, that’s not really something you can do inside of her. I think my favorite part is the direct comparison of vaginal penetration to Arian Foster. If we’re making Texasn references, I’m sad he didn’t let me on the track. I need somewhere to drop my dope line about being “rap’s T. J. Yates in the grass and the dirt/only here ’cause two other quarterbacks are hurt”.