Welp, that’s a headline I never thought I’d write.

But here we are, traveling back to 1992 to watch Williams Entertainment pitching the original “NBA Jam”, trying to win the lucrative NBA sponsorship necessary to license professional basketball players by basically listing off every scene in the movie Terminator 2: Judgment Day. You see, Williams Entertainment are the guys who made that Terminator 2 arcade game you still find tucked into the corners of yet-to-be-updated bowling alleys next to Demolition Man pinball machines, and if it hadn’t been for the This Ain’t Nintendo blast processing rah rah of that game, Williams wouldn’t have had the tech necessary to put that two second clip of Horance Grant dunking in the halftime report.

You can watch the pitch below. At no point do the programmers catch fire.

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Aside from my invitation to Luther Campbell’s mayoral campaign kick-off event, the only interesting email I received yesterday was from a buddy who sent me the video below. A couple kids are at a place similar to Dave & Busters and they decide to take on one of those punching bag machines to see who can hit it the hardest. Instead, they put on a display to any bullies hanging around that they would be easily mugged in the parking lot.

I’m not pretending to be some big tough guy, as I’m a lovable scamp, but if you can’t hit a motionless punching bag then you should just go ahead and purchase your tickets to “Wicked” and go get a marriage license in Vermont.

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