A few quick truths:

1. With Leather doesn’t really have a signature animal. Sure, we’ve tried to get sea otters over as our thing, but nobody comes here for specific animal content in the way they might’ve, say, Warming Glow.

2. Sledding is more of a recreational activity than a “sport,” but it requires a small amount of athletic prowess. Slightly harder than hanging motionless on the monkey bars, but easier than the slide.

3. It’s Friday, and the only things going on in the LOL LOOK AT THIS sports world are Harlem Shake videos and … additional Harlem Shake videos.

So, with those three things accepted as facts, here’s a clip of SLEDDING PUGS. Okay, so it looks like somebody just put them in sweaters, dumped them into a storage bin and decided to drag them around in the snow against their will, but still, pugs in sweaters in a sled. The fabric softener commercial music in the background is a nice touch.

As a resident of hot-ass Texas who lives with a lady who is allergic to dogs, I’m going to pretend that this is what winter is like. SLEDDING PUGS, Y’ALL.

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The video description:

Monkey dose exercise for tourists

… and that’s it. He “dose” it. Here we are, left with a video of a monkey cranking out a set of push-ups, then flipping over to do sit-ups while his trainer holds his ankles. It’s the kind of thing the Internet was made for, and I guess we’re just fulfilling that Planet Of The Apes prophecy where we teach apes how to be better than us en route to being ruled by them.

I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to be happy or sad for the fitness monkey, but here he is. Video is after the jump.

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This is Zip.

Zip won five championships in agility before an accident left her paralyzed. Now, they take the bars off for her and let her run between the posts, and she still makes little jumps as she goes through them and oh my God my heart.

Video is below. Warning: HIS LITTLE JUMPS, OH MY GOD.

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"Quorn chicken has milk in it? What a CRUEL HOAX."

Here’s something important you should know about me: I’m a vegan.

Some of you know that. If I mention it in passing, I’m guaranteed at least five tweets and two sternly-worded e-mails about how a brief mention of my personal dietary choices equates to full-on BLOOD PROTEST, and how I need to stop trying to cram it down the readers’ throats. If you weren’t aware, that’s probably normal, because I don’t mention it much.

I have, however, sorta ended up as “the vegan” in the Notable Comedy Sports Blogs circle of friends. Almost everyone else who writes about sports is full-on Ron Swanson 24/7, so if, say, vegan chicken wings are mentioned by a sports guy, Cosby Sweaters will talk about how their “world is imploding” and CFB Section gets comments like “go throw red paint on someone wearing a fur coat … tree huggers.” It instantly turns normal people into Jim Belushi. I’m left here to kinda meekly say “those wings aren’t bad, because they aren’t really supposed to be chicken wings” and hope nobody throws a brick at my head.

The reason I bring this all up now is because Peta has launched a Manti Te’o ad campaign, and oh my God I want to hit them in the head with a brick.

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Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means it’ll be a light day at With Leather. Burnsy will be enjoying a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, and I’ll be driving an hour south to San Antonio to eat mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and something called “glazed wham”. We’re very different people, but we love you the same.

If you’re like a lot of Americans, Thanksgiving means football. At UPROXX, Kissing Suzy Kolber means football, so here’s my best contribution to the vibe: a clip of Jimmy Junior, Wild Turkey Bourbon spoketurkey, choosing Thursday’s NFL match-ups. He picks the Houston/Detroit, Dallas/Washington and New England/New York games by eating feed out of a particular helmet, and hey, it’s not rocket science, but it’s as statistically valid as anything you’re gonna read at Bleacher Report.

Check out Jimmy’s picks below. “That turkey belongs on my plate” jokes not appreciated. Well, by half of us.

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Maniac.

On July 27, 2009, a world record was set that most people thought would never be broken. But as we’ve seen over the past several years through my unabashed love of bizarre global competition, no record is safe as long as one person has the ambition and drive to be better. In this case, it was an athlete fittingly known as Diesel who set the record in question, and that record was, of course, the longest jump ever by a guinea pig. Eat your hearts out, Summer Olympians.

But earlier this year, according to perennial Pulitzer contender Guinea Pig Today, a 13-year old Scottish girl named Chloe said, “ACH! NO!” and other various unintelligible things, I presume, and she set out to break the world record with either her sister’s guinea pig, Nibbles, or her own boar, Truffles. Turns out, Nibbles was worthless, like the Ozzie Canseco of rodents. But Truffles? That f*cking guinea pig was special from the start. So special, in fact, that on March 15, Truffles CRUSHED Diesel’s record of 20.5 cm by more than 9 cm.

So does a world record holder just sit on its furry ass and wait for some other sock filled with tennis balls to come along and break its record? Apparently, yes. Because a guinea pig from Peru (dressed as a pirate, perhaps?) broke Truffles’ record shortly after. Chloe and Truffles finally nutted up and retook the world record in recent weeks by leaping more than 48 cm. And now, because you need to, you can watch the record breaking jump.

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