What you’re looking at is the best-possible and most serendipitous sports “selfie” you can take.

Meet Tampa Bay Rays reporter Kelly Nash. In addition to being pretty and having a great baseball job, she comes equipped with a magical forcefield that keeps her from getting drilled by fly balls when she’s taking Instagram pics at Fenway Park instead of paying attention. The photo hasn’t been doctored … in fact, representatives from the Rays speaking with Yahoo Sports seemed surprised at the idea that anyone WOULD doctor a photo like that, and I have to agree. I can’t get my phone to take a picture of anything more mobile than a bowl of fruit without it blurring up. This photo was a gift.

If you’re wondering what mystical force kept Kelly from getting brained, here’s a quick conversation from her Twitter this morning explaining why she and actor Tony Danza are so very much alike:

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If you’re a fan of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, now’s the time to start flapping your arms.

The Angels signed reliever LaTroy Hawkins on a one-year, $3-million deal on Wednesday night, then looked at each other, shrugged and said “ah f**k it, let’s sign everybody”. They suddenly emerged as the frontrunner in deals for C.J. Wilson and Albert freaking Pujols, and according to the report directly to the right of this paragraph and everyone freaking out across the sports world, it looks like the AL West squad landed the biggest and best free agent of the off-season, and possibly ever.

From the L.A. Times:

One day after appearing to have no interest in Pujols, the Angels are believed to have offered the three-time National League most valuable player a 10-year deal for at least $210 million.

It appeared Pujols would be heading back to St. Louis after the Miami Marlins pulled their 10-year, $220-million offer to the slugger earlier Wednesday. The Cardinals have offered Pujols nine years and more than $200 million.

So Pujols gets the ten years he was looking for, the Angels are instantly playoff contenders again and Mel Clark can pitch tired as much as he wants.

Somebody get the Indians to bring in a bunch of guys from obscurity and jail so we can live out our movie in real life, please.