If you haven’t heard of him already, this is Julian Newman. Sorry, Julian “Handles” Newman. He’s an 11-year old who is so good at basketball they made him stop playing kids his age and play point guard for his local high school’s varsity team. No, seriously, he’s ridiculous.

A video of Newman’s game highlights and dribbling stunts posted in December on YouTube went viral, currently logging nearly 3 million viewers.

Julian, who is only 11, leads the state of Florida in assists per game this season and ranks fifth nationally, according to Maxpreps.com, which maintains statistics on high school sports. The pint-sized prodigy easily shoots three-pointers from the longer-range NBA line and was invited to show off his skills at halftime during an Orlando Magic game. (via Toronto Sun)

That was good enough to get him a spot on ‘Conan,’ which he used to explain his nickname (spoiler: he doesn’t have it because he’s fat), tell the world what he thinks about LeBron James (spoiler: Kobe’s better) and not only defeat Conan in a game of one-on-one, but defeat Conan, Andy Richter and ‘The Big Bang Theory’s’ Kunal Nayyar THREE-on-one (spoiler: ‘The Big Bang Theory’ blows).

Videos of his adorable TV child interview and MONSTER BASKETBALL SKILLS are below.

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Update: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar hates shit.

You wouldn’t think the guy who wore a golf sweater with Uncle Phil on ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ and and taught Uncle Jesse how to play basketball on ‘Full House’ would be so hyper-critical of popular culture, but the 2013 version of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is suddenly super into telling you what he hates about stuff he sees. He hates ‘Girls.’ He thought Django Unchained was a “good B-movie.” KAREEM ONLY LIKES THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW AND OZU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

The folks at ‘Conan’ have taken advantage of Kareem’s late-life blogger crisis by having him review other things, and, as you might expect from a Conan sketch that actually involves the person they’re making fun of, it’s great. Kareem reviews Silver Linings Playbook, discusses the fiber benefits of whole grain Fig Newtons and slam dunks the Mona Lisa, both figuratively and literally. It’s not him running down that kid’s dad in Airplane!, but it’s worth a watch.

Video is below.

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Exclusive ESPN coverage of Conan & Andy’s brutal beatdown of budding Olympians.

That’s the description for the following clip from ‘Conan’, featuring Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter putting all the “which Dream Team could beat which other Dream Team” debates to bed by challenging the Dream Team 2032, aka a bunch of little kids. Highlights include nap time, a game of keep-away and the natural hilarity of watching tiny, tiny babies try to shoot a basketball on a regulation hoop. Also, Conan O’Brien being surprisingly pretty good at basketball.

Full video is below, with a h/t to NESW Sports. The Orlando Magic should go ahead and look into signing some of these guys.

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Pre-show notes:

- Welcome to my first ever Best And Worst Of WWE [Insert Older Pay-per-view Show Title Here] report. I asked the column’s regular readers to decide which time-appropriate pay-per-view event I’d cover first, and this show, one of the highlights of WWF’s epic 2000, won with over 42% of the vote. So here we are, getting you ready for the 2012 Royal Rumble with a look back at the year 2000′s.

- Comments are appreciated. Clicking “like” is appreciated, tweets and retweets are appreciated, showing and sharing this to and with the people you know are appreciated. One of the reasons I haven’t done older show reports so far is that nobody’s googling for them, so our traffic goes way down and they take like 80 hours to write, so why bother? But I WANT to write them, so if you support them and make them a success, I’ll keep cranking them out. At least get me to Wrestlemania 23, so I can write about Ashley Massaro.

To make things even better, we’ve added some features to our comments section, like badges for unlockable achievements and image/gif posting privileges for top commenters. Our first With Leather badge debuts tomorrow night with the Royal Rumble Open thread. Here’s a hint: >=(

- Don’t forget to come back on Sunday and participate in our open discussion thread for Royal Rumble, happening live. I’ll make sure to update with results and everything. It’ll be fun. YOU’LL ENJOY IT.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- If you read the column earlier and were missing a few pages, be sure to go back and give it a re-read. Everything is up now.

- A.J. was not born when this show originally aired, so she will not be featured in the report.

But for now, please enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWF Royal Rumble 2000.

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