"Sweet gloves, bro."

NBA legend and TNT analyst Shaquille O’Neal, in his neverending quest to completely besmirch Dwight Howard, once said that Andrew Bynum was the best big man in the league. But since he was traded to the Philadelphia 76ers in the blockbuster deal that sent Howard from the Orlando Magic to the Los Angeles Lakers, I’m pretty certain that Shaq doesn’t even care who Bynum is anymore. That doesn’t change the fact that, though, that when healthy Bynum is indeed one of the most talented centers in the NBA. The key component of that statement being WHEN HEALTHY, because lately that’s a concern.

Bynum has been rehabilitating his knees after he received fancy lubrication injections in Germany during the summer. Basically, the guy has no cartilage and he’s trying desperately to make his knees work. Originally, he was aiming to be ready by mid-to-late November, but then he suffered a bone bruise that set him back to December or January. Now, his recovery has been set back again, because he reportedly re-injured his knee while bowling. Seriously.

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I don’t mean to imply that we couldn’t watch any sports last night. For instance, I watched the Orlando Magic at the Chicago Bulls last night. But since Barack Obama had to be such a winner and whatever last night, the Bulls had to ruin that game for me, too. I mean, Joakim Noah was knocking down jumpers and Carlos Boozer looked like he had an actual pulse.

My point is that everyone was all fired up about the election last night, even though the only candidate who mattered was Kate Upton’s uncle. Oh well, at least we have some college football and NBA action tonight. And volleyball, I won’t ever exclude volleyball.

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Yahoo!’s Adrian Wojnarowski Tweeted yesterday that a four-way blockbuster trade that would send Dwight Howard to the Los Angeles Lakers was imminent, and it appears that it’s done. According to Woj, as of this morning the deal is in place and just needs NBA approval, which the teams will most likely receive during a conference call this afternoon. As the smoke clears and the dust settles, this is how the trade plays out:

Lakers get: Dwight Howard, Earl Clark, and Chris Duhon

Philadelphia 76ers get: Andrew Bynum and Jason Richardson

Denver Nuggets get: Andre Iguodala

Orlando Magic get: Arron Afflalo, Al Harrington, Nikola Vucevic, Moe Harkless, 3 first round picks, and 1 second round pick.

(Some people with “sources” say that other players are involved, and it is actually 4 first rounders that suck and maybe 2 second rounders, but who knows yet? Who cares? Is anyone even paying attention? Hello, Mrs. Pommelhorse?)

MOST SHOCKING UPDATE EVER: The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that the deal is not done and there may be complications. I do not believe this because the Sentinel is never right.

Of course that has led to a chorus of “How could Orlando do that?” and “Orlando got screwed” and “Orlando took the worst offer out there” and that was expected. Short of a LeBron James for Howard straight-up swap, there was no deal that Orlando would receive that wouldn’t be met with cries of outrage from both fans and the media. That’s just how the NBA works these days.

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"And I was like, 'Toronto? Sorry, wrong number. No Steve Nash here.'"

Depending on whom you ask, the Los Angeles Lakers either just pulled off a fantastic or terrible trade that makes them instant contenders again or just makes them older. Yesterday, the Lakers defiled our nation’s birthday by making the day’s biggest sports news all about a Canadian athlete. The Phoenix Suns have agreed to ship Steve Nash to L.A. for a goodie bag of draft picks and cash.

Specifically, the Suns inked Nash to a 3-year, $27 million extension and will swing him to the Lakeshow for $3 million and four draft picks. The Lakers were able to make the deal happen thanks to that exemption they received from Dallas in the “Lamar Odom’s worthless presence” trade last season.

So what sold Nash, who had interest from a bunch of teams, on this particular deal?

“This is what I call a family values contract,” Nash’s agent Bill Duffy told USA TODAY Sports. “He was seriously considering retiring so he could remain close to his children. We had to twist his arm to have an open mind. He didn’t want to be away from his children, and this allows him to be in a competitive situation, and even though it’s a rival, he wanted Phoenix to get some value back. It’s a win-win.” (Via USA Today)

Added Duffy, “I was all like, ‘Retirement shmetirement, bro. Daddy needs a new beach house in San Diego. Think about others for once, you selfish dick.’ And boom, Lakers.”

Of course once the news broke, so did the dam that keeps all of the Internet’s hyperbole from drowning us. Nash is 38-years old, and he’ll turn 39 in the middle of the 2012-13 season, so can he still be the point guard that Kobe Bryant and the Lakers have desperately craved since Derek Fisher’s age caught up to him?

Let’s speculate and debate and then hug.

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Since we last checked in on the big picture of the NBA, the Oklahoma City Thunder (12-2) and Chicago Bulls (12-3) have made it clear that they’re the early favorites and the teams to beat, despite Chris Bosh’s assurance that his Miami Heat (8-4) are still the best team in the NBA. What a relief that is, too. Because their star and leader, Dwyane Wade, is dealing with a foot injury that typically sidelines players for weeks and even months, I figured the Heat might focus on winning instead of talking. But that would be boring and thankfully Bosh is stepping up.

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Lakers (10-5) got their swagger back – namely from Kobe Bryant and his return to MVP form – which leaves the Orlando Magic (9-3) in a precarious situation as the trade deadline nears. As it stands, Lakers center Andrew Bynum is playing almost as good as Dwight Howard, so the Magic could be losing their best trade scenario, and as the Nets continue to blow, Howard has now shifted his focus to the Los Angeles Clippers (7-3), which sucks for Orlando because aside from Blake Griffin and Chris Paul – who won’t be traded – the Clippers have nothing of longterm value to trade.

If you thought that a shortened season would be short on drama, then you were oh so wrong. Welcome once again to our Week in Pictures.

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Sometimes it’s reassuring to watch a 6-foot-11, first-round draft pick power forward with ten years of experience get hit in the face with a basketball because he isn’t paying attention.

The video description from YouTube user Imadoggydogg says it all:

Keep your hands in the ready position Troy! Haha. Good pass Bynum

My favorite part is either the announce team being one second away from laughingly calling him a motherf**ker or Chase Budinger showing the hustle of a tree sloth on defense. Who am I kidding, my favorite part is when he gets hit in the face with a basketball. And I feel like Murphy should’ve kicked Bynum’s ass after the game for thinking a high-speed no-look pass to the head was a great idea when he was two feet away and could’ve just handed him the ball. Who does that?

Compare and contrast this futility with Kobe Bryant, who cuts out the middleman and just passes to himself.

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