Oh. Hello. I’m sorry, were you not expecting to see Joe Namath in a towel with Farrah Fawcett today? What about Sylvester Stallone punching Muhammad Ali at Planet Hollywood? What about heavyweight champion Lenox Lewis with alcoholic-era Kerry Collins with porn star Heather Hunter with a Baldwin brother in a ‘do rag? Did I just blow your mind?
Yesterday, Life Magazine made life awesome for the Internet-having public by opening up its photo archives on Google. Ball Don’t Lie already scored Billy Baldwin with the Knicks City Dancers, and in fact a mere search of “Baldwin” opens up a trove of gold. You should also see what Big League Stew turned up on Joe DiMaggio.
Below are some of my favorites. Andre Agassi with hair. College-age Wilt Chamberlain with white girls at Kansas. Agassi with Joe Montana and Wayne Gretzky at an event for the All Star Cafe. Jesus, do you remember the All Star Cafe? What a tremendous failure. I love it.
A Las Vegas hooker was recorded telling undercover cops that her girls had enjoyed the company of high-powered clientele like Bill Clinton and Shaquille O'Neal.
An accused Sin City madam, Esperanza Brooks, 36, dropped their boldfaced names as she bragged about having high-powered clientele while being secretly recorded by an undercover cop, according to a Las Vegas police report made public this week by the department…
Brooks, arrested with four other women, worked by day as a cheerleading coach at the Andre Agassi College Prep Academy, a public charter school the tennis ace founded in 2001 in the ghetto section of Vegas. The two-week investigation ended when Brooks agreed to provide "blond" girls with "large breasts" to three Asian business partners invented by the undercover cop. The fee of $10,000 included a quantity of cocaine.
Well, if a hooker said it, then you KNOW it's true. Yeah… so maybe the veracity's in question, but this story has Clinton, Shaq, Agassi, hookers, coke, undercover cops, and Las Vegas in it. How exactly was I supposed to ignore that? I mean, I can ignore Shaq, but I can't seem to get away from hookers and coke.
No, seriously, it's a problem. I wish people would stop laughing and pay attention to my cries for help.
In a story that sets up endless possibilities for hilarious wifebeating jokes, Andre Agassi "inadvertently" hit his wife Steffi Graf in the face with a tennis racket during a fundraiser yesterday, forcing the former German star and mother of Agassi's child to get three stitches.
Graf and Agassi were holding hands - her left to his right - while rallying with a couple of youngsters when Agassi's follow-through struck his wife in the face. Agassi held his racket in his left hand…
She wiped her mouth with a towel before leaving the stadium for an on-site doctor to administer three stitches to her lip, officials said. It was not clear whether the cut was to the inside or outside of her mouth area.
Graf refused to speak about it afterwards, insisting that she merely "fell down the stairs." When pressed for details, she admitted that Agassi only makes her participate in charity fundraisers because he loves her so much.
Thanks goes to faithful tipster Gen, who has a big rack and a dirty imagination.
