Here’s Anaheim’s Scott Neidermayer trying to do something nice after his game against the Lightning, tossing a stick over the glass to a fan in the stands. But watch the asshole in the blue shirt trying to grab the stick from the intended receiver…and then gets pummeled in the process. And really, this is what the game is all about–groups of people banding together to whip some greedy fat guy’s ass. –SpudSharksUtube. Thanks, Jeff.
My grandfather always used to say that there are two things that illustrate how we as human beings are filled with an insatiable bloodlust and will gleefully relish witnessing displays of violence and brutality.
And those two things are hockey fights and even more so, snuff films.
Sure, that was right before grandpa was sent away to a nice farm upstate where he could run and play – at least that’s what my parents told me – but his statement is at least partially accurate: people love watching hockey fights. Even the casual fan will pay attention to hockey if you tell them two guys are punching each other in the head..
And the above brawl between renowned puck pugilist (and mustache aficionado) George Parros of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks and 6’8″ behemoth John Scott of the Minnesota Wild certainly brings home Gramp’s point. Given Parros’ experience (Parros is credited with 83 regular season fights since the 2005 season on hockeyfights.com, Scott, 5), this shouldn’t have been much of a battle, but Scott landed some terrific shots and put Parros on the ice. In fact, I would call it an old-fashioned, knock-down, butt-whooping.
And it worked. The brawl, as it often does in these situations, lit the proverbial match under the Wild, who were down 3-0 to the Ducks at the time, but rallied to win 4-3 in overtime. And people say there is no place for fighting in hockey. When I do come into contact with this sort of person, I say to them “bully.” And then I beat them viciously over the head with a hockey stick. So I guess when I do say “bully” to these soon-to-be victims of ultraviolence, it means a couple of different things.
We love athletes that play for the love of the game, even if “play” sometimes takes the interpretation of “beat the snot from thy opponent’s body,” which is what happened at the end of Anaheim’s win against Detroit in Game 6. They just couldn’t wait to start Game 7, and some mighty scuffling occurred therein. Boston also managed to force a Game 7 by beating Carolina, but they did it in a much less masculine way. Aaron Ward played, despite having a bruised vagina.
More quasi-brawlishness after the jump, specifically from the ice hockey world championships in Switzerland where the United States and Switzerland played off for the bronze medal. Read the rest of this entry »
Hey, the NHL playoffs start tonight! All right! I'm not actually excited, but I'm genuinely happy for the hockey fans who get to enjoy the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which are somehow even longer than the NBA playoffs, which I didn't think was possible because the NBA playoffs go on for like 5 months.
In order to drum up excitement for the postseason, the marketing-savvy NHL has once again turned to celebrity bloggers for a viral campaign unlike any other. Take, for instance, Lauren Conrad (pictured, with side boob and side-boob Audrina – NSFW), The Hills star whose blank stares and silent pauses are the most believable of any character on the show. She claims to have followed the Kings the last two years, but she's now throwing her feverish support to the defending champion Ducks:
Favorite NHL Team: Anaheim Ducks Favorite Sports/Teams: No answer Favorite Players: No answer Music: No answer Books: No answer Movies: No answer Other interests: No answer
Actually, she seems to have a lot more interest in and knowledge of hockey than I do.
What with all the cool things happening in interesting sports this weekend, I barely noticed that the NHL kicked off its season in London. The Ducks and Kings ended up splitting the first two games of the season, with the Ducks regaining their championship form in last night's 4-1 win. Not surprisingly, Londoners were mostly ambivalent, getting excited only when players (like Scott Thornton and George Parros, pictured) dropped their gloves and beat the crap out of each other.
I think it's a great idea for the NHL to branch out to other countries. I mean, hockey's insanely high level of popularity in America has reached a critical mass; it only makes sense to branch out to other nations now that it's conquered the good ol' U.S. of A. In fact, I say move the whole NHL to Europe. I think I could appreciate it more from afar. I mean, I'd appreciate it if someone made it farther away.
It's nothing personal. I don't dislike hockey. I even understand and respect that a lot of people really love it. I just don't want it living in my neighborhood, driving down property values and taking our jobs.
The Anaheim Ducks had their moment in the Southern California spotlight. Because of Paris Hilton, that's pretty much all it was — a moment. Hilton's release from jail early Thursday subjugated the Ducks to afterthought status just hours after they reached the pinnacle of their sport — winning the Stanley Cup.
Hockey relegated to afterthought status? I don't believe it. In fact, the Ducks are lucky such a major newsworthy event wrested public attention away from their triumph. Any of these other SoCal happenings could have supplanted hockey's greatest flock: GAS PRICES CONTINUE TO RISE, SMOG ALERT TODAY, J.C. PENNEY TWO-DAY SALE.
"I live right there and I didn't even know they were playing. That's sad," said Sherrie Robertson, a 34-year-old housewife lined up for the $6 early-bird special at the All-Cloth Anaheim West Car Wash on Thursday. "Southern California and ice, they just don't mix, do they?"
Hockey's unpopularity might be the least sad thing going on there. You know what else doesn't mix? Sexiness and early-bird specials. -KD