I don’t know what the opposite of a Bucket List is, but “have an arena full of people roar with approval when I get blasted in the face with a hockey puck” is on mine.

That’s what happened during the third period of Tuesday night’s Ducks/Wild game at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. In this clip (courtesy of Sportress Of Blogitude’s Weed Against Speed, the only Minnesota Wild fan on the entire Internet), Anaheim defenseman Cam Fowler dumps the puck back into the offensive zone, remembering that “dumps” means “hits it as hard as humanly f**king possible” and “the offensive zone” is “referee Dennis LaRue’s shoulder and head area”. The ref goes down like a ton of bricks and the crowd loves it, assumedly because the Wild had gotten a few bad calls early in the game.

LaRue got up and finished the game (like a boss), which leaves us with a question: What is most socially uncomfortable?

1. An Xcel Energy Center full of people thinking it’s awesome that you’ve suffered physical injury because they don’t like the job you’re doing.
2. Me thinking this is hilarious, but being indignant enough to pretend I wouldn’t have cheered too.
3. Sharing this on the Internet so you’ll do numbers 1 or 2.

[video via MrNHLFanatic]

The Anaheim Ducks are currently sitting in fifth place in the Western Conference, and their affiliate teams are helping them out by calling up players when they’re injured and getting them caught in their racist lawsuits. Wait, what?

Jason Bailey, 23, is seeking unspecified damages in the action filed in Orange County (California) Superior Court against the Ducks, the Bakersfield Condors and coaches Martin Raymond and Mark Pederson.
…
According to the complaint, Bailey endured “a barrage of anti-Semitic, offensive and degrading verbal attacks regarding his Jewish faith” from Raymond, head coach of the Condors. Raymond, according to the lawsuit, would say, “they (referring to Jews) ‘only care about money and who’s who.’ ”

It also claims that Raymond said “he never wanted his son to be raised Jewish or to wear a yarmulke.”

Assistant head coach Pederson made anti-Semitic remarks about Bailey, the suit alleges, including, “well, I don’t know if we can trust him with the money; he’s Jewish.”-CNN.

It doesn’t say if they made any jokes about the book of greatest Jewish athletes actually being the size of a pamphlet. I also didn’t see any jokes about throwing gefilte fish on the ice if Bailey scored. Come on; if you’re going to go that far, you might as well go all the way. Anaheim Ducks? More like Anaheim Schmucks!

Via the great Andrew Bucholtz.

On Tuesday’s game against the Coyotes, Anaheim Ducks center Ryan Getzlaf took a shot to the face worse than Shyla Stylez in half her films. Phoenix’s Shane Doan was aiming for the goal but instead found Getzlaf right above the eye after the shot was deflected, giving him a nice gash above the eye which made him fall to the ice in pain and start bleeding almost immediately.

Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve been all about the hockey fights this week, so what’s one more? Only this little tête à tête involves fans, who are just like hockey players, except fatter, slower and generally less attractive. For once, this is a good thing. Vancouver fan, with the elevated seating, clearly has the upper hand, even as his bro half-assedly tries to break it up. Here’s a note to everyone in the English-speaking world: STOP BREAKING UP FIGHTS. You’re ruining it for the rest of us.

Unfortunately, the photographer decided to shoot this sideways. Maybe it was more discreet that way. Maybe he was Quentin Tarantino. I give up. But it’s a badass fight [read: totally one sided. That Anaheim fan gets pummeled, as those fans should] and totally worth whatever neck trauma you endure from cocking your head to the left. Read the rest of this entry »

The Chicago Blackhawks had six players go to Vancouver for the Olympics; now they’re playing like they’re in the Special Olympics. See what I did there? The ‘hawks have now drawn their second suspension from an opposing player within a week; this time it’s James Wisniewski of the Anaheim Ducks, who will be suspended for eight games for a broadside hit on Chicago’s Brent Seabrook.

The irony of the play is that Seabrook delivered almost the exact same hit on Anaheim’s Corey Perry seconds earlier. That hit neither drew a penalty in the game, nor any sort of action from the NHL office. While Wisniewski’s effort was certainly more badass than Seabrook’s (and probably a charge, since Seabrook didn’t have the puck), that’s not an 8-game hit. Chicago’s listing Seabrook as day-to-day, which could probably be said about half the guys in the league at this time of year. Video and more after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s Anaheim’s Scott Neidermayer trying to do something nice after his game against the Lightning, tossing a stick over the glass to a fan in the stands. But watch the asshole in the blue shirt trying to grab the stick from the intended receiver…and then gets pummeled in the process. And really, this is what the game is all about–groups of people banding together to whip some greedy fat guy’s ass. –SpudSharksUtube. Thanks, Jeff.