The WTA features such stars like Ana Ivanovic, with her warm smile and natural beauty; Maria Sharapova, with her willowy limbs and blond locks; and Jelena Jankovic, with her… body.  But the women’s bodies are covered up, as the tour closes its season with the WTA Championship in Qatar.  Thanks, Islam!

Silhouettes instead of photographs, and computer manipulation to conceal thighs: that is how Qatar promoted this week’s season-ending WTA Championship. For years the WTA has appealed to sensuality to sell its stars, but the first experience of a Masters tournament in the Middle East left it with no alternative but to moderate its presentations. [...]

Qatar, which has experienced an opening to Western culture over the past few years, understood that change cannot happen overnight. So on the streets there is no sign of the WTA’s classic advertising posters, showing off the beauty of Serbia’s Ana Ivanovic and company.

I heard an interesting viewpoint from someone who said that, in a way, Islamic culture is more respectful to women because it keeps their bodies covered up, while Western culture exposes and exploits them.  And that’s a fair point.  What do you say, ladies?  Aren’t you tired of voting and having jobs?

[Sports by Brooks]

HIGH-RES UPDATE: Rockin’ commenter took a break from satisfying women to turn up an image with much excellent-er resolution.

Tennis queen Ana Ivanovic is the latest to don a milk mustache for the iconic “Got Milk?” ad campaign, but God forbid there be a nice high-resolution image of it anywhere on the Internet.  Or one where she’s wearing high heels and a garter belt.  That would sell some friggin’ milk.

Anyway, the ad says:

Power Serve.  I give it my all, so milk’s the perfect match for me.  Milk is a great choice after exercise, with protein to help build muscle and a unique mix of nutrients to refuel.  So train hard and drink lowfat or fat free milk.  That’s what I call a nice return.

So, does anyone have any jokes that DON’T involve breasts or semen?  No?  Yeah, me neither.

[

U.S. Open - Sexy, sexy top-seeded Ana Ivanovic was ousted in the first round of the U.S. Open by some unattractive nobody, depriving us of several opportunities to post alluring photos of her while feigning an interest in tennis. So we make hay while the sun shines.

College Football – The Ol’ Ball Coach and the Gamecocks got a few late scores after quarterback Tommy Beecher threw four picks and got yanked in favor of Chris Smelley, who capped a 34-0 stomping of N.C. State… No. 23 Wake Forest got its first win ever in the state of Texas and in blowout fashion led by Riley Skinner’s 22-of-30 passing for 220 yards and two scores…The U opened its new digs with a 52-7 reaming of Charleston Southern, the only mishap being the giant inflatable helmet the team runs through not being pumped up. Hey, it was either that or lose the sex dolls.

MLB – Jason Giambi served as the best mustachioed Italian hero since the last Mario game with three RBIs, including a walkoff single to stave off a Red Sox sweep in the Bronx… Aramis Ramirez lifts the Cubs over the Phillies with an 8th inning grand slam as Philly’s bullpen blows another…K-Rod pulls within six of Bobby Thigpen’s save record and the Angels knock their magic number to 13. Lot of suspense in that division.

The top-ranked player in women's tennis went out and got some sun, and as usual a brave papparazzo was there to capture this momentous occasion.  I'm a little confused, though.  On 205th claims that these images are from some place called Palma de Mallorca.  That kinda sounds like a posh European resort.  So why does this look like a suburban backyard with a pool?  I would bet my ass there's a lawn jart set and a plastic Playskool house just outside the picture.  

Not to go off topic here, but does anyone else think a jart landing inside the circle is a little erotic?  Just me?  Okay, just checking.

Ana Ivanovic was nice enough to put on some swimsuits and pose for FHM UK, and this tease of her photo shoot is pissing me off because it's clearly lying.  On sale July 1st, my ass.  It's July 7th here in America, and I know time zones are weird but I'm pretty sure it's at least July 7th over in the UK, too.  I don't care if England doesn't have the Internet yet — if that magazine was on sale, someone over there could have shipped it here via transatlantic pony express by now.

Anyway, while I'm waiting for the high-resolution pics to surface, you can either look at the low-res, watermarked images that Fan IQ dug up and annoyingly put across several pages, or you can just look at those same images thumbnailed here.

HIGH-REZZY UPDATE: The rest of the shoot, courtesy on 205th.  Ana on dating: "I know the men who contact me asking to marry don't mean anything by it."  Sighhh… Fellas, how many times do I have to tell you?  If you want a woman to take you seriously, you write letters in your own blood.

A 56-year-old Ohio man — WARNING: Ohio story — named Allan Patton likes going to sporting events.  Why, after you've been banned from getting close to schools, it's the best place to collect little boys' urine!  Wait, what?

Official reports indicate [Patton] has been observed putting Saran wrap on toilet seats in public, sports-related venues with the apparent intent to drink any urine collected there.

It was that practice that drew Patton to the attention of Gahanna authorities in 2006. During his trial, authorities said he collected urine from boys at a movie theater — and at times even paid for it… And according to complaints filed with Dublin police, his fetish still has him helpless to resist it. [emphasis added]

Sweet merciful God that makes me sick.  I actually get queasy typing the phrase "drinking little boys' urine."  What a sick bastard.  I mean, drinking someone's urine is an intimate moment that should only be shared between a man and a woman who love each other.  Or a man and a woman who's been fairly compensated.  Or any number of people who have paid the cover for the annual Boston Pee Party.

(thanks, kind of, to Enrico Palazzo)