The handsome gentleman pictured here is Amador Yenkenes, a 57-year-old Miami jeweler who faces third-degree felony assault charges for slugging the referee in a soccer game between two teams comprised entirely of players aged 55 and up.

Yenkenes had been agitated all night, disagreed with a call and kicked the ball in anger, [referee Nicholas] Sismanidis said. That drew a red card and an ejection. He punched Sismanidis in the jaw and ran. The referee, a civil engineer who also officiates college soccer games, called Miami-Dade police…

The opposing team, leading 1-0, won the game on a forfeit after the attack.

What!?  They ended the game after one little case of felony assault on the referee?  Sheesh.  This is just one more sign soccer still has a long way to go in America.  In Europe and South America, beating the referees is part of the halftime entertainment.

[The Offside] 

Put your seatbelts on.  It's time for today's Florida story: a man who reported that his 21-year-old son had gone missing was reunited with him seven hours later.  The cause of the son's disappearance?  Bong overboard, dude.

Seven hours after a Crestview father reported his 21-year-old son missing from Crab Island, the younger man was found safe on the docks behind a Destin restaurant.  The father told an Okaloosa County sheriff’s deputy that his son had been standing in the water about 3 p.m. when he last saw him, according to Sheriff’s Office report.

About an hour later, the son left a cell phone message asking his father to call immediately.  The father called that number and spoke to a man who said the son had been on his boat earlier, but had left to swim after his beer bong after it was thrown overboard.

When the deputy found the younger man at about 10:30 that night, the son told him he had been trying to make his way home… He was in good health, the report noted.

That's great, but what about the bong?  Is the bong okay?  Because it takes, like, a month to find the right length of tubing.