Some Knicks Fans Still Believe In Their Team

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.02.12

Strip club pep rallies > any other pep rallies

If you need proof that New York City is one of the greatest sports cities on Earth – I can’t rule out Middelfart, Denmark – it’s hard to look beyond the incredible enthusiasm that our good friends at Rick’s Cabaret constantly show for all of their teams. Obviously, we’ve already discussed their incredibly warm welcome for Tim Tebow, and hopefully they’ll listen to me and Mets Fan Motorboat Mondays once the team loses a few more games and slides into last place.

Right now, though, the ladies – pictured above with Sal the Stockbroker from The Howard Stern Show – are focused on showing support for their faltering New York Knicks, who are currently down 0-2 to the Miami Heat. That’s not going to last, according to the bridesmaids at my third wedding.

Rick’s Cabaret Girl Trina said that she considers some of the NY Knicks her favorite VIP customers. “We are not allowed to mention any names,” she explained. “But the basketball guys are awesome.”

Rick’s Cabaret Girl Karina said, “Look, Miami killed them in the first two games, but they are coming back to New York on Thursday. It is not over. The girls and I wanted to do something to show them how much we appreciate them. So we held a pep rally this afternoon to cheer them on. They can still turn it around – anything can happen.”

Asked about Amar’e Stoudemire’s injury, Rick’s Cabaret Girl Gianna said, “I appreciate his passion, but he went too far. I’m not worried, Carmelo Anthony will step it up. Carmelo is my favorite Knick. He can do it.”

We can joke all we want, but these girls appreciate their New York sports. Hell, if they started commenting on some gambling sites, they could be writing for ESPN Playbook by the end of the week.

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The New Big Three

Written by Brandon Stroud / 11.10.11
knicks-on-sesame-street

(Grover is Bosh.)

One of my professional goals is to make an appearance on Sesame Street and teach Grover the difference between two obvious things he should’ve organically learned about at some point over the last forty years. Sadly there isn’t a lot of room for bloggers on children’s programming (“hey kids, this is the difference between CREDITING your source and claiming you ARE the source, even if you just typed ‘cheerleaders’ into Flickr!” etc.), so here’s a clip of New York Knicks Carmelo Anthony and Amar’e Stoudemire living that dream for me.

Watch as they teach Grover what it is to “compare”. Carmelo can shoot the ball into the basket. Amar’e can shoot the ball into the basket. Grover can shoot the ball… way below the basket. They should’ve had Patrick Ewing walk on and say, “I can also shoot the ball way below the basket”.

I feel like he should’ve just transformed into Super Grover and started traveling all over the place. Super Grover is too popular for traveling calls.

They should bring on Stephon Marbury and have him call Elmo a sellout for doing the “Elmo’s World” segment instead of talking to kids on the street.

[h/t Sportress of Blogitude]

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What They Did This Summer: A Look In Pictures At The NBA’s Stars During The Lockout

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.03.11

As I’ve pointed out a few dozen times since July 1, whoever is running the public relations strategy for the NBA players union is doing a terrible job. But I’m also willing to bet that nobody is really in charge of the spin machine, as we’ve seen both the players and owners struggle to grasp reality during this entire lockout.

However, it’s worth pointing out that the players, despite coming off as greedy and arrogant at times (*cough, Dwyane Wade claiming he deserves $50 million per season, cough*), really do have their acts together for the most part. Sure, some of them are acting like they don’t give a crap about whether or not there is a season, but some of them are using their free time for the betterment of society and they’re not necessarily doing it so they can pose for the cameras.

Us basketball fans may be pissed, annoyed, frustrated, and flat out angry, but we’re also ignorant to the better efforts because a couple guys giving out Playstations to terminally ill kids doesn’t make a front page look as sexy as Wade telling off the league’s commish. Fortunately, I was doing some fall hard drive cleaning and came across a slew of images that proves that even the most robotic, soulless eventual billionaires like LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony have big hearts. They just don’t have good marketing teams.

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NBA Players Sure Loved Fashion Week

Written by Ashley Burns / 09.14.11

"Red... like that Heat jersey I won't wear for another year."

If you were a professional NBA player and you made the majority of your income from endorsements or the E! network, but the league that you play in – essentially the reason that you’re even famous – is currently in a strike with the majority of its players scraping together pennies from their last paychecks to make ends meet, would you A) meet with your teammates regularly and offer to help with little things like groceries and rent while the lockout continues, B) step to the forefront of the players union and take a strong stance for the benefit of your peers instead of cowtowing to the owners, or C) say f*ck ‘em all and attend Fashion Week in New York City.

You bet your sweet Burberry-scented ass that you’re going to Fashion Week. Just like the NBA’s biggest stars, who instead of being concerned with the possibility of no season, made sure they were up to par on the latest from the top designers like that one guy, and the lady with one name, and that other dude. Me and fashion go together like Eddy Curry and exercise.

Check out more of LeBron James and the athletes who are more concerned with fashion than job security after the jump.

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NBA Round-Up: Gilbert Arenas Planks While Kobe, Carmelo And Amar’e Pack?

Written by Ashley Burns / 07.08.11

Orlando Magic guard Gilbert Arenas Tweets a lot, in case I haven’t mentioned it before, and his 140-character thoughts usually fall somewhere between “LOL wut a jackazz” and “OK I’ll admit that’s pretty funny”. But on a few isolated occasions, when he’s not calling Orlando a state or planking in random places, he has been known to make a pretty good point, and two of his Tweets caught my attention yesterday.

rumor is DWill has a contract to play overseas if the lockout continues pass oct 1st…he aint the only one u know ya boy Agent has one also

all this overseas talk..and when we had to play preseason games over there everybody started complaining about the flts and food

By “flts” he means flights, I assume, and he makes an excellent point about the mindset of professional athletes. I knew some guys who played college basketball and after they graduated they went to play in Japan, Ireland, Turkey and Greece. A few of them did it for the experience, but mostly they all did it for the money, because these teams were offering as much as low 6 figures (considering conversion rates and living expense) to 22-year old guys who had no chance at making the NBA.

That’s important to keep in mind, because with the exception of Rudy Fernandez’s record offer from Real Madrid – which is more about bringing a star home and less about pillaging the NBA – the offers aren’t going to be as considerable as some players might think. That’s why this supposed mass exodus of angry and vengeful players isn’t going to be as large as some pundits expect, because it comes down to the difference between a comfort zone and culture shock. Basically, these players can make all the threats they want but after a few weeks they’d be Tweeting xenophobic rants that would haunt an Arizona legislator’s dreams.

After the jump, you can check out the latest in NBA-players-heading-overseas developments, as well as Arenas’ latest planking escapades.

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The Knicks Are The New Paper Champs

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.28.11

When the New York Knicks traded for Carmelo Anthony prior to last week’s NBA trade deadline, many fans said that it signaled the return of the classic 1990s rivalry between the Knicks and the Miami Heat. And as I’ve been more than happy to point out, in the two-plus decades since the Heat joined the league. both teams have combined for one NBA title (Miami in 2006) and that came well after the peak of the “rivalry” years. But last night gave us the first taste of the new installment of Knicks-Heat hatred, and La La Anthony’s husband’s new team came away with the 91-86 victory.

The Knicks trailed by as much as 15 in the first half, but they won by doing something that many people have said they won’t be able to do very well – playing defense. Holding the Heat to only 35 points in the second half, Carmelo (29 points) and fellow Denver Nuggets castoff Chauncey Billups (16 points) led the Knicks to a hell of a statement win. But the keys to the Knicks’ victory were provided by the self-anointed King, LeBron James, as he had a layup blocked by Amar’e Stoudamire in the closing seconds of the game, and then he missed the game-tying three. I heard he also kicked a puppy. What a jerk.

After the jump, I’ve got most of the game’s highlights, with the exception of LeBron’s missed shot, of which I assume he had all footage destroyed.

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