People are stupid. That’s obviously a running theme around here, but the thing is that celebrities know that people are stupid. Even stupid celebrities know that people are stupid, because that’s how those morons are even famous in the first place. Fortunately for those stupid celebrities, they’re surrounded by people who want to make money off of them, and they’re smart enough to understand the 15 Minutes concept. And that’s the reason why the greatest 14:59 marketing push has always been the celebrity exercise video.

Celebrities are usually in great shape because they have teams of trainers and dieticians that help them around the clock, because if Kim Kardashian didn’t have people helping her, she’d be more ass than a donkey farm. Marketing teams, though, know that they can capitalize off of the public’s stupidity by letting us believe that celebrities just have some inside knowledge on what it takes to keep it tight. They don’t. But that won’t stop them from profiting.

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I want to be best friends with this picture.

Back in March, New Era released its latest Major League Baseball “rivalry” commercial, starring The Office’s Craig Robinson and Parks and Rec’s Nick Offerman as feuding Chicago White Sox and Cubs fans, respectively. The ad was, as expected, phenomenal, because Robinson and Offerman are two of the most lovable comedic actors in show business. But it also led me to quickly ponder which MLB teams have the best celebrity fans, not in terms of notoriety, but celebrities that we generally love.

The White Sox have Robinson, the Cubs have Offerman (Bill Murray and John Cusack, among others) and the St. Louis Cardinals have Jon Hamm. That was basically the immediate conclusion that we came to. However, I also made a hypothetical comment regarding Paul Rudd being a Kansas City Royals fan, and of course it turns out that he’s a lifelong Royals fan* and he was at Game 6 of the 1985 World Series.

In fact, he even helped organize a charity wiffle ball game last year with Royals legend George Brett, as well as Will Ferrell, Rob Riggle, Jason Sudeikis, David Koechner and Hamm. I feel like this should have been much bigger news at the time. But the reason I’m bringing this all up now is for our new With Leather Interactive Awesome Celebrity Baseball Fan Tracker, which we will be updating all summer long.

After the jump, check out Rudd talking about his life as a Royals fan, and help us put together the most elaborate and definitive list of awesome celebrity baseball fans this world has ever seen by leaving your suggestions in the comments. They have to be actual fans of the teams. As much as I want to say, “Rachel Bilson and Mila Kunis are Cardinals fans”, it doesn’t work that way.

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Now that we’ve all calmed down from last week’s controversial running back rankings, I figured it was time to start the week off on the wrong foot with an equally controversial and debatable fantasy football wide receivers ranking. However, I don’t think that it will be the receivers and where I have them ranked that will fire everyone up, as much as it will be the means in which I group them – 80s TV sitcom daughters. I know, we’re like Harvard and MIT had a big, stupid baby after a drunken weekend in Cancun.

After all, let’s look at what happened since I posted that RB feature:

- The Kansas City Chiefs signed LeRon McClain, which means that Jamaal Charles might get one touchdown this season. Meanwhile, Ray Rice is all by himself. I’ve never said that our readers aren’t smarter than me.
- Mikel Leshoure tore his ACL and will miss the entire season for the Detroit Lions.
- Ashley Tisdale showed up at a gym looking like this. It’s just baffling.

As for the football meat of this ranking, I always have a lot of fun picking my wide receivers, because this is where you can really find some hidden gems, especially if you’re in a standard format league and you start 3 WRs or 2 WRs and 1 RB/WR flex spot. But of course there are also always the standard studs, definitive duds, and those guys who are just good enough to keep that one guy in your league sending trade offers for your top RBs all season long.

Oh, and if you couldn’t already tell by that banner pic, it’s pretty obvious who the No. 1 choice is.

NFL.com recently released this new commercial, and the theme appears to be people who are pissed that they received NFL merchandise as gifts. Like the guy in the beginning must be a New York Jets fan because he’s all like, “Damn girl, why’d you give me this Ronnie Brown jersey?” Or maybe he thinks that being overrated is contagious. Either way, featured in the commercial are Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder and Alyssa Milano. And while I think it would be funnier if Albert Haynesworth was returning his jersey to Snyder, I really only want to talk about Alyssa Milano.

Apparently banging professional athletes is the fountain of youth, because for 37 years old she looks F-ing good. And while I’d never be too enthused about getting sloppy seconds from something that Brad Penny rolled around on, I certainly wouldn’t kick her off my mom’s futon. She’s currently married to her agent, so she’s not actually banging any athletes at press time, but the girl needs a break, I guess. Also, she was in Double Dragon the movie. That makes her pretty awesome.

NFL.com commercial after the jump.

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In her blog on MLB.com last week, the lovely Alyssa Milano addressed a letter to Dodger manager Grady Little and made the following request:

I beg of you, in the future please refrain from batting anyone with a batting average under the Mendoza Line in the CLEANUP spot. I'm all for [Olmedo] Saenz getting the start at first to get some more at-bats and give [James] Loney a break, but you may want to consider batting him appropriately for a .185 hitter. Just a suggestion. Call me crazy.

No, I would never call you crazy Alyssa.  Unless, for instance, you were wearing leather, had a whip, entranced me to remove my trousers , and then said "Call me a crazy witch!"  Sure, then I'd call you crazy.  Anyway, Robyn Norwood of the L.A. Times had this response to Miss Milano's open letter:

Impressions: Nice use of sarcasm . . . But she might cause a little trouble in the clubhouse by ripping the manager so specifically, considering she has dated Brad Penny and Russell Martin.

Oh, snap!

One other thing: In light of her dating activity, maybe "Touch 'em all" isn't the best title for her blog.

Rawr!!  I love catfights.  They remind me of grammar school when the nuns would beat the female students whose uniform skirts didn't reach their knee.  Good times. -KD

(Thanks to Panger from Foul Balls for the tip.)    

Thanks to Deadspin and Awful Announcing, I'm now am aware of the touch® by Alyssa Milano Ultimate Fan sweepstakes.  The grand prize winner of this contest will receive two tickets to two Dodgers games, hotel accommodations for three nights and an opportunity to meet the lovely Alyssa at one of the games.  Admittedly, an "opportunity" doesn't sound like much, but my favorite witch revealed she will have dinner at the Dugout Club at Dodger Stadium with the lucky winner.  Ooohh, the Dugout Club, that sounds expensive.  I had better brush up on my dining etiquette just in case I win this thing.  Let's see, use the silverware from the outside in, refrain from slurping the soup, and always begin any dinner conversation with the phrase, "Remember that episode of Charmed when . . .".  For whoever out there wins second place, you'll receive $150 worth of touch which is a great deal because the you usually have to drop at least $200 to get some touch.

And speaking of sexy bloggers and contests, your handsome assistant editor advanced to the second round of the National League West Bracket of the Ladies… Hot Blogger tournament.  In a tight race, reminiscent of the '60 presidential election where once again the Chicago vote was tallied late, the Irish-Catholic was able to squeak out a victory over the favored Red Sox Stats Guy.  Although many believed his victory was assured because he included his adorable son in his photo, he was very gracious in defeat, so check out his new blog.  I'm off to the tavern to heckle the Cubs on Sunday Night Baseball and hit on the lovely barmaids with my newfound confidence. -KD