The 2013 European Indoor Athletics Championships were held over the weekend in Gothenburg, Sweden, finally answering my nagging question of “What the hell else do Olympic athletes compete in?” Men and women from all over Europe have competed since January to qualify for this huge athletics competition, and the biggest winners of this year’s EIAC included…

*scrolls through ridiculous list of foreign names and strange numbers, forehead vein bursts*

Yeah, so there you go – a bunch of people who won their events and others who didn’t. Real riveting stuff right there. But one winner stood out above the rest because he thought that he had done something super awesome only to find out that he didn’t. His name is Renaud Lavillenie, he is a French pole vaulter and I clearly know nothing about his strange sport.

Thank God, British pole vaulter Steve Lewis showed up to explain this odd meltdown video to us.

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Look who’s finally comfortable with her status as a sex object. Allison Stokke has finally given into the dark side, claiming that, if she wins Spike TV’s Sexiest Athlete Award, she will show up and claim it. That’s a far cry from 2007 when, on this very site, Allison’s father threatened to murder Ufford in his sleep and molest his dead body in the middle of the town square. Or something like that.

Oddly enough, she’s up for a Guy’s Choice Award against another With Leather fave, table tennis diva Biba Golic. My money’s on the woman with the worse English. No, really, I’m pulling my money out right now. Where is she?

|via DaulerioSpin|

Reader Mickey sent along these photos of Cal freshman Allison Stokke at the Texas Relays, where she placed sixth in the pole vault with a mark of 3.70 meters, or the more America-friendly height of 12' 1.5".

As you can see here, the 19-year-old Stokke is wearing typical pole vaulting gear and engaging in her sport, so this is basically the same thing that everybody shit their pants about last year minus a Chris Hanson joke.  Ooh la la, quel fucking intrigue.

Molest-y reader Ian sends in this video from iCarly, which is apparently a Nickelodeon show starring one of the little girls from School of Rock.  I wouldn't know.  Swear.

If you can make it past the annoying kids making fun of old people and aren't afraid of the To Catch a Predator TV crew, by all means, check the video out.  It's got Cal pole vaulter and one-time Internet phenomenon Allison Stokke displaying her skills for the 'tween set.

Welp, there's the knock on my door.  I suppose that'll be Chris Hansen again.  His response time keeps getting faster.  I think he may have rented the apartment above mine.

The first pictures of Allison Stokke handling her pole for the Cal Golden Bears surfaced just about everywhere yesterday. But nobody's mentioned that the true freshman, despite looking less tan and a bit thicker in the britches (not that bloggers know anything about these kinds things) had a good showing at the MPSF Championships in Seattle last weekend.

In the women's pole vault, freshman Allison Stokke set both the school indoor and freshman records with her mark of 13-1.00 (3.99m). Fellow teammate, junior Katie Morgan [not the porn star (NSFW) --GEd. ] set the same mark, as both pole vaulters provisionally qualified for the indoor championships. Stokke and Morgan tied for third in the competition.

I won't be the first person to say that this pic is a bit of a letdown. I mean, it's not like I'm gay outside of the whole poetry slamming about other men thing. Fortunately there's a pic of Cal's Katie Morgan in that first link, and as you can see she's built like a brick shithouse. But in a good way. I can't wait until her father threatens to sue everybody for invading her privacy, right before a whistle-stop media tour. What does "whistle-stop" mean, anyway? – Monday Morning Punter

[Busted Coverage]

There's been much ado about the OC Register's sale of Allison Stokke's image on things like mugs and mousepads (see HERE, HERE, and HERE), but before the speculation gets out of hand, it should be noted that — as far as I can tell — the Stokkes have nothing to do with said sale, and benefit from it in no way.  A reporter from the OC Register explained it as such:

[T]he Register contracts with a company to handle our reprints. That company, Pictopia, also offers photos on mugs, mousepads, etc. So generally, photos taken by our staff photographers also are available on such merchandise through Pictopia. People who want to buy photos or merchandise have to fill out an online form, which is reviewed by a photo librarian to make sure it's filled out properly, etc. I'm not aware, and a news researcher I talked to also isn't aware, of a company policy for subjectively evaluating reprint requests.

I'm not trying to keep the story alive, just wanted to throw some facts out there.  First time for everything, right?