Look who’s finally comfortable with her status as a sex object. Allison Stokke has finally given into the dark side, claiming that, if she wins Spike TV’s Sexiest Athlete Award, she will show up and claim it. That’s a far cry from 2007 when, on this very site, Allison’s father threatened to murder Ufford in his sleep and molest his dead body in the middle of the town square. Or something like that.

Oddly enough, she’s up for a Guy’s Choice Award against another With Leather fave, table tennis diva Biba Golic. My money’s on the woman with the worse English. No, really, I’m pulling my money out right now. Where is she?

|via DaulerioSpin|

Reader Mickey sent along these photos of Cal freshman Allison Stokke at the Texas Relays, where she placed sixth in the pole vault with a mark of 3.70 meters, or the more America-friendly height of 12' 1.5".

As you can see here, the 19-year-old Stokke is wearing typical pole vaulting gear and engaging in her sport, so this is basically the same thing that everybody shit their pants about last year minus a Chris Hanson joke.  Ooh la la, quel fucking intrigue.

Molest-y reader Ian sends in this video from iCarly, which is apparently a Nickelodeon show starring one of the little girls from School of Rock.  I wouldn't know.  Swear.

If you can make it past the annoying kids making fun of old people and aren't afraid of the To Catch a Predator TV crew, by all means, check the video out.  It's got Cal pole vaulter and one-time Internet phenomenon Allison Stokke displaying her skills for the 'tween set.

Welp, there's the knock on my door.  I suppose that'll be Chris Hansen again.  His response time keeps getting faster.  I think he may have rented the apartment above mine.

The first pictures of Allison Stokke handling her pole for the Cal Golden Bears surfaced just about everywhere yesterday. But nobody's mentioned that the true freshman, despite looking less tan and a bit thicker in the britches (not that bloggers know anything about these kinds things) had a good showing at the MPSF Championships in Seattle last weekend.

In the women's pole vault, freshman Allison Stokke set both the school indoor and freshman records with her mark of 13-1.00 (3.99m). Fellow teammate, junior Katie Morgan [not the porn star (NSFW) --GEd. ] set the same mark, as both pole vaulters provisionally qualified for the indoor championships. Stokke and Morgan tied for third in the competition.

I won't be the first person to say that this pic is a bit of a letdown. I mean, it's not like I'm gay outside of the whole poetry slamming about other men thing. Fortunately there's a pic of Cal's Katie Morgan in that first link, and as you can see she's built like a brick shithouse. But in a good way. I can't wait until her father threatens to sue everybody for invading her privacy, right before a whistle-stop media tour. What does "whistle-stop" mean, anyway? – Monday Morning Punter

[Busted Coverage]

There's been much ado about the OC Register's sale of Allison Stokke's image on things like mugs and mousepads (see HERE, HERE, and HERE), but before the speculation gets out of hand, it should be noted that — as far as I can tell — the Stokkes have nothing to do with said sale, and benefit from it in no way.  A reporter from the OC Register explained it as such:

[T]he Register contracts with a company to handle our reprints. That company, Pictopia, also offers photos on mugs, mousepads, etc. So generally, photos taken by our staff photographers also are available on such merchandise through Pictopia. People who want to buy photos or merchandise have to fill out an online form, which is reviewed by a photo librarian to make sure it's filled out properly, etc. I'm not aware, and a news researcher I talked to also isn't aware, of a company policy for subjectively evaluating reprint requests.

I'm not trying to keep the story alive, just wanted to throw some facts out there.  First time for everything, right?

I want to straighten out a few things about Allison Stokke and this tangled web of newfound celebrity.

• I maintain that the key to what makes Miss Stokke an intriguing figure is that she's damn good at her sport.  In my experience, most sports fans prefer Maria Sharapova to Anna Kournikova.  Yes, both are attractive, but Sharapova is actually good, and that's why she matters.  Likewise, I wish Miss Stokke the best in her sporting endeavours.  I would love to care about pole vaulting.

• A lot of people seem to be up in arms about With Leather "making" her a celebrity.  If it hadn't been this site, it would have been someone else, and it would have happened sooner rather than later.  In fact, Barstool Sports claims that they'd already "written an entire book" about her by the time I got to the story.  I'm sorry I never got the chance to read it; I'm sure it was excellent.

• How would I feel if it were my daughter that got this unwanted attention?  Well, I don't know.  I'd like to think I'd feel fortunate that my daughter was a record-breaking athlete and honors student with no physical or mental deformities.  It's 2007, people: time to realize that attractive women athletes will always be recognized and — yes, sometimes — obsessed over.  Is it right or wrong?  I don't know.  But it's reality.

To the Stokkes: if you'd like this post removed, please just contact me.  You don't have to be mean or anything.  We all have jobs that can get ugly, but that doesn't make us bad people.