Via YouTube:

Heavyweight champ Cain Velasquez mic’d up Octagon-side for UFC 156 as his next opponent is determined. See Velasquez’s live reaction as he watches Bigfoot Silva pull off an epic knockout against Alistair Overeem. Velasquez faces Bigfoot in the rematch at UFC 160 this Saturday, May 25th.

What the description doesn’t point out is that Cain Velasquez’s live reaction is almost no reaction, and his cold, obvious explanations of what you’re watching reminded me way too much of Arnold Schwarzenegger doing commentary on Total Recall. Just replace “this is me on the screen here” with “Overeem threw 2 to 3 punches.”

I guess I can’t blame him too much. This is his job, after all. But hey, if he wasn’t enthusiastic about Bigfoot Silva’s win here, I’d like to see him run commentary on this clip of Bigfoot trying to fit into a normal sized man’s helmet and do laps around a racetrack in Sao Paulo.

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“I’m going to f*cking destroy him. That’s what I’m going to do.”

Those were the words that Alistair Overeem said to UFC Tonight’s Ariel Helwani regarding Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva prior to their fight at this past Saturday’s UFC 156 event in Las Vegas. To add to that sentiment, when Silva warned Overeem during their stare-down that he “better start showing respect”, Overeem responded, “I’m going to f*cking destroy you.” Needless to say, these guys didn’t like each other before Saturday and they probably still don’t like each other now.

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The question posed: If you were holding a beer, how efficiently could you remove a woman’s bra with your free hand? What if she was wearing a dog mask?

To answer the question, Dutch TV enlisted the help of top-ranked UFC monster Alistair Overeem, a man whose hands can do all sorts of unconventional things to women.

He does a fine job of unhooking a line of womens’ bras (while they’re wearing bunny masks, which makes me think this whole thing’s being orchestrated by Sander Cohen) and at the end he rides away on a three-wheeler while “Born To Be Wild” plays. I think a good litmus test for personal worth is to watch the video and note any instances of you thinking, “wow, this is cool!” The only way I can think to explain it is as the gender equivalent of Brock Lesnar murdering prairie dogs with machine guns.

[h/t Rant Sports]

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, please don't hit me."

Breaking news courtesy of TMZ:

UFC superstar Alistair Overeem — the guy who beat Brock Lesnar into retirement — has been charged with misdemeanor battery for allegedly attacking a woman in a Vegas hotel earlier this month.

According to the Clark County District Attorney’s Office … Overeem is accused of “pushing/shoving” a woman in the face at the Wynn Hotel in Vegas at around 3:00 AM on January 2 … just a few nights after he defeated Lesnar at the MGM Grand.

Law enforcement sources tell us the alleged victim is 5’4″ and 128 pounds. Overeem is listed at 6’5″, 260 lbs.

TMZ makes sure to call Overeem a “UFC STUD” for some reason, which is especially weird in a story about how he might’ve shoved a woman in the face.

Anyway, this could easily be a misunderstanding, a person looking for a quick payday or another example of a guy who fights for a living not being able to control his giant angry monster body, so who knows? We’ll keep you up to date when more information is available, and we’ll divide every sixth word in half with ellipses.

Welp!

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Links

The Rearview Mirror: Five MMA Trends We Hope To Have Left Behind In 2011 - I’d like to add one: “hitting Brock Lesnar in the stomach”. That’s just wrong. [Cage Potato]

The 2011 UPROXX People Of The Year Awards - If you just thought Burnsy wrote about sports, get ready to be surprised! He also bestows prestigious awards upon celebrities! [UPROXX]

The 20 Most Important Meme Watches Of 2011 - Idiot nerd girl is great and all, but how did Excited Soccer Kid get left off of this? Or Tebowing, for that matter. [UPROXX]

The Year in Weird: The 10 Most Insane News Stories of 2011 - The Bang Bus guy wins this in a walk, although “Brandon stumbling upon Allie Sin’s five or six mugshots” is my personal number 11. Poor lady. Contact me, I’ll make you some food! [Film Drunk]

The 2011 Finale: The 100 Other Unforgettable Songs We Enjoyed - A joke about Natalie Cole. But no, seriously, UPROXX is knocking these retrospective lists out of the park. [Smoking Section]

5 Video Game Non-Stories We Obsessed Over Too Much in 2011 - I hope “I’m not going to buy Skyrim because it has serious frame-rate issues” is on here. If you have ever said that, I legitimately hate you and will punch you in the face in real life. [Gamma Squad]

R.I.P. All the Terrible Shows (and a Few Good Ones) We Lost in 2011 - Rest in peace, ‘Castle’, we hardly knew ye. (Castle is still on, isn’t it) [Warming Glow]

25 People Who Woke Up On New Year’s Day In A Strange Place - #26, Ashton Kutcher. Woke up in Lea Michele’s apartment, where Pink’s “Raise Your Glass” was playing on loop. [Buzzfeed]

2012 Movie Preview: Big Directors, from Steven Soderbergh to Quentin Tarantino - …from Steven Soderbergh to Quentin Tarantino to Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan! Ah sh*t, nobody else liked Can’t Hardly Wait and Josie and the Pussycats as much as me, did they? [Moviefone]

Pajiba’s 10th Annual Top 10 Top 10 Lists of 2011 - Next year they should do the top 10 top 10 top 10 lists and really blow our minds. [Pajiba]

Normally this would be the place I’d hype our Best And Worst Of WWE Smackdown Live-Blog, but tonight is the big UFC 141 event live on pay-per-view from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada, and we’re keeping it real. The live-blog will return starting next week, but for now I want to know where you’re watching the fights, what you think’s gonna happen, what you think WHILE it’s happening and what you thought when it was done.

So, open discussion thread. I’m not the most schooled-in-MMA blogger out there, so let me know what to expect, and what I should be excited for beyond a geometric shape full of blood and the possibility of an F5. Let me hear you, jerks! If this goes well (and gets more than the usual four comments* in comparison to WWE’s 100+) we’ll keep it going, and I’ll make an effort to cover more things that are actually sports.

The full results and weigh-in video are below. :

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