Morning Links: A Penny For Your Thoughts, A Five To Keep It Live

Written by Brandon Stroud / 02.20.12


I tell people that “God” by John Lennon is my favorite song, but it’s really this. Happy Presidents Day.

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Links

Alison Brie And Danny Pudi Perform ‘Everybody Dance Now’ To Close Out ‘Community’ Season 3 Filming - Between this, the faux-Santa Baby thing and Trudy Campbell’s Charleston, Alison Brie is my favorite dancer. Sorry, Jabbazwockee. [UPROXX]

Chris Brown Has A New Pickup Line Sure To Make All The Ladies Melt - I also would’ve accepted, “my dancing looks mostly stupid but people say it’s cool, so date me or I’ll literally murder you”. [UPROXX]

Chris Brown Vs. Seagulls - I can’t wait for him to start abusing animals so people can be all, “what’s the big deal why don’t you forgive him??” [Buzzfeed]

kate-moennig7 Attractive People Landed Pilots This Week, Let’s Rank Them by Aesthetic Value - Worst part about the new Warming Glow — whatever aesthetic makes them decide Kate Moennig is less attractive than Kumar. [Warming Glow]

5 Things Tim Schafer Needs to do To Make His Fan-Funded Adventure Game Truly Great - Thing 6 – Change the name of it to ‘Lufia and the’ something something. Thing 7 – straight up Lufia game. [Gamma Squad]

7 WTF Endorsement Deals Featuring Rappers - If you like Beats By Dre, you’ll love being beaten by Chris Brown! etc. [Smoking Section]

Frotcast 87: ‘Ask a Porn Guy’ w/Seymore Butts, Lindy West vs. Penn Jillette - Again, is Shane from Shane’s World still alive, and if so, would she consider staying in my guest room for a few months? [Film Drunk]

Bill Oakley Tweets Top 10 ‘Simpsons’ Episode Pitches That Never Made It To Air For 500th Episode - “Homer gets a job as a ____. Is worried that he and Marge may get divorced. Accidentally hurts himself!” has been the plot of every episode since like, 200. [HuffPost Comedy]

TMZ asks the question of our time. Emma Stone or Rooney Mara who would you rather? - Mara, but only if she was Dragon Tattoo’d up. Emma Stone is pretty, but too Modern Drew Barrymore Faced for my tastes. [FARK]

Hipster Cat Is the Only Dubstep DJ You’ll Ever Need - Wait, now HIPSTERS listen to dubstep? Get your broad generalizations in order, Internet. [The FW]

Capes? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Capes! The Best Superhero Movies Not Based On A Comic Book (Or Other Source Material) - I like Unbreakable so much it justified me seeing at least three terrible M. Night Shyamalan movies in a row. The Last Airbender was the last straw. See you in Hell, M. Night. [Pajiba]

Watch the Trailer for ‘Marley,’ Kevin Macdonald’s Documentary About Bob Marley - Spoiler alert: Marley dies at the end. Wait, are we talking about the same movie? [Brobible|Alison Brie And Danny Pudi Perform ‘Everybody Dance Now’ To Close Out ‘Community’ Season 3 Filming |UPROXX]

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The Attractive Female Celebrity’s Guide To Drafting Fantasy Running Backs

Written by Ashley Burns / 08.03.11

"You're mad? I have his fumbles on my fantasy team!"

For millions of years or as long as men have gathered in groups to draft fantasy football teams, the running back has been the dominant selection. If you don’t share the philosophy then you’re at least familiar with the strategy of taking two running backs first to create a solid scoring foundation. The top overall draft picks are almost always elite RBs, and you most likely spend the majority of the football season sending out terrible trade offers with the hopes of acquiring another RB.

Essentially, RBs have almost always ruled the world. Too bad the jerkface coaches of the NFL are doing their best to destroy that philosophy, what with the ever-increasing trend of committees and scenarios. But does that mean that you can’t use a little strategy to make sure that you acquire an elite RB on draft day? Yes, actually, it does mean that. Unless you have a top 5 pick this year (depending on how your league rewards and favors QBs) you’re probably not going to get top tier production from your backfield.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t at least have solid productivity while creating harmonious scoring across your roster. You just have to clear your mind, forget your fan allegiances, and for once in your life stop telling yourself that THIS is the season that Joseph Addai becomes a monster. Again, I will remind you that I am not professing to be a fantasy football expert, like the many people at the big boy sites who don’t know their asses from a hole opened by the Green Bay Packers offensive line. But I do have some opinions that could help you, and chances are they’re at least better than your moron friends who spend $10 on magazines each year.

Today’s topic is the running back, as we fight to protect the endangered species that is the featured back. And yes, I’m using more attractive females to make my arguments.

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