This is just one of them.

Links

15 Alison Brie-Inspired Halloween Costume Ideas - This could be Matt’s finest work to date. I’m covering the 9th Annual Corgi Celebration in Austin for him this weekend, though, so if Alison Brie makes an appearance there, we can do even better. [Warming Glow]

Plots From The Unaired Season 8 of ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ Make Hilarious Tweets - They should publish some of the plots I wrote for season 9, wherein Captain Picard and his new best friend Ensign Brandon have to defeat the Romulans, and then Ensign Brandon has to save the ship. [Gamma Squad]

Drake Covers November 2011 Issue Of The Source Magazine, Eats Gold Chain - Then he says “chain” in his normal voice, stops, then says “BALLIN” in a deeper voice, because “ball and chain” and “ballin” are both phrases. [Smoking Section]

Steve Buscemi Has Amassed Quite An Impressive Death Reel - Steve Buscemi has an impressive everything, except face. And one time he made out with hottest possible Thora Birch. [UPROXX]

Kirk Cameron Swears His Birthday Party Was Actually Super Fun And Everyone Came - but now how you’re thinking [Film Drunk]

Hot Chicks with Butthead Gums - All they had to do was use a normal picture of Miley Cyrus, her mouth usually looks like that already. [Buzzfeed]

Adult Swim’s Guide to the Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse - “Kill maybe one zombie a day, spend the rest of your time having relationship issues with your friends and gritting your teeth.” [Adult Swim]

25 Things You May Not Know About ‘Donnie Darko’ - #26: What happened in the movie ‘Donnie Darko’. [Moviefone]

12 Absurd Boxer Shorts That Will Guarantee You Never Seal the Deal With a Woman - If you wear boxer shorts at all (and aren’t like, Rick Ross) you shouldn’t get laid. Boxer briefs are where it’s at, gentlemen. [The Smoking Jacket]

Jeopardy Legend Ken Jennings Is a 99 Percenter - I’m happy to be finally lumped in with this guy about something. [The Daily What]

61-Year-Old Man Steals $130,000 From Employer to Fund His Online Porn Subscriptions - Just like the time I got my ex-girlfriend to get me a trial subscription to Camwhorevids, but on a grander scale. (P.S. I miss you, Mitra) [Brobible]

The Evolution of Cosplay in One Image - What the guy at Unreality know is that the one on the right is supposed to look like that. Also, which one is on the right. [Unreality]

Welcome to day one of With Leather’s “Make People Say Stuff” Initiative, where we stop openly begging you to comment on posts throughout the day and try to lure you into an Inception’d sense of commenting urgency with a new social set-up, complete with incentives and, once we figure out what to give you, WONDERFUL PRIZES. Couple that with our free fantasy football game (click the busty cheerleaders above or below this post) and we’re basically the ATM of websites. Consider “being interested in things” as your $5 usage charge.

The current features of the new commenting system are:

- Signup using Facebook or Twitter
- Universal login on any Uproxx site
- User Profiles — comments made on any Uproxx site are
aggregated on your profile
- Profile Avatars — use your Facebook, Twitter or a custom avatar
- Clickable avatars — shows mini profile with recent comments

And, if that wasn’t enough, Coming Soon:

- Direct messaging
- Threaded replies to comments
- Commenting awards and badges

So it’s pretty cool. Hop down into the comments here and let us know what you think, because hey, the way we give out rewards is random at this point and I might decide to give you a gift. Just kidding, I’m giving it to Upstate Underdog.

Links

Brandon McCarthy Of The Athletics Knows What The Dugout Is - In one of the most important moments of my creative life, a guy who plays baseball likes my baseball comic. Unbelievable. Turns out all I had to do was hate a player everyone hates already! [@BMcCarthy32]

New ‘Justified’ Villains Cast! - Anne Hathaway in a leather suit! Tom Hardy with a jockstrap on his face! [Warming Glow]

Reddit’s Jailbait Message Board Shut Down For Good, It Seems - This calls for a wistful Bob Dylan-scored retrospective. First the Camwhores chan threads where you could find naked pictures of Mitra, and now this. RIP [UPROXX]

First Avengers Trailer Is Finally Here - This, combined with the joke I made in this week’s Best and Worst of Raw, is going to make me go to BuyBacks and buy A Love Song For Bobby Long, or as I like to call it, Scarlett Johansson Smoking: The Movie. [Gamma Squad]

23 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Mormon - Hold on, Julie from ‘The Real World’ is a Mormon? No way. [Buzzfeed]

TV Chef Claims Eating Puppy Meat Is No Worse Than Pork - I’m sure this’ll get met with a dismissive wank by the “lol bacon” crowd, but there you go. Also, I don’t know if you noticed it, but eating shrimp is like eating wet cockroaches. [FARK]

Paula Deen Flirts With Matt Lauer - Not as good as the “Giada de Laurentiis Flirts With Brandon Stroud” story I wrote in my sleep last night. [AOL TV]

Restaurant Customer Leaves Negative $2 Tip and Tells the Waitress to Lose Weight - Or as it was originally titled, “facetious dickhead now hilarious to facetious dickheads on Internet”. [The Daily What]

Fun with Penis Confusion: Comparing Alison Brie’s Cleavage to Joel McHale’s Buttcrack - With a close enough proximity to Alison Brie, I really wouldn’t care if that was Joel McHale’s buttcrack. [Pajiba]

Most Likely the Nerdiest Tattoo on the Planet - The guy with the Hulk Hogan Flexing backpiece gently weeps. [Unreality]

Links

Source: Alison Brie Still Adorable - I love ‘Community’, but every time I see her now I just wish ‘Mad Men’ was back. [Warming Glow]

Lebron James, Dwyane Wade & Friends Show #BasketBallNeverStops In Miami All-Star Game - The Westboro Baptist Church should try to get LET US PRAY trending. I think I like them more than I like the Miami Heat. [Smoking Section]

UFC Weekend Gif Round-up - UFC always works better for me in gif form, I don’t know why. One day I’m just gonna wake up like, “oh, right, I LIKE watching people get punched in the face for real”. [Cage Potato]

Monday PM Hot Clicks - Sending a link to the entire post because 1) the Were-Bear video is hilarious and awesome, and 2) you should see that new Buffalo Bills song video, but not here. Because holy sh*t it is terrible. [Hot Clicks]

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 10/3 - Linking this here so you’ll have something positive to read about wrestling today. [With Leather]

The Best Of #Phil Dunphy - Hopefully a gif of him railing that lady from behind in Dawn Of The Dead is in here somewhere. [UPROXX]

Sunday School: Rating The NFL’s Week 5 Performances As Action Figures - I’m sad that M.A.S.K. had to be illustrated. I used to have the big Kings Dominion looking mountain gas station playset and everything. Muh muh muh mask. [SBN]

5 Online College Courses for Comic Book Fans - I feel like ART and ENGLISH should be in here, but I guess Rob Liefeld and Judd Winick didn’t need them, so why should fans? [Gamma Squad]

Woman Sues Drive For Not Being Enough Like Fast and Furious - I wish I could go back and do this to movies I hated. I want to sue Slackers for not being enough like Caddyshack. [Film Drunk]

Christina Aguilera And Axl Rose Are On The Same Diet, Apparently - Holy crap. In what world did Britney Spears suddenly win? [UPROXX]

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner at Occupied Wall Street - I don’t know about those crates of peanut butter, but the rice and bean plate looks pretty great. [Buzzfeed]

Who Killed the Graphic Designer? Revisiting a Strange Trend in the Movie Posters of 1985 - The best part of this link is that there is literally no commentary, just a bunch of similar movie posters. Couldn’t you have at least added a “hey, look at Michael J. Fox you guys” under the Teen Wolf poster? [Pajiba]

… which is pretty good, if you ask me.

Sports

John Wall Returns to North Carolina Pro-Am, Makes Julius Hodge Famous - I used to know what John Wall was famous for, but all I can see when I hear his name is that terrible, terrible pitch. I will think of O.J. Simpson as a Heisman Trophy-winning football star before I’ll picture John Wall as anything other than Mariah Carey in a Nationals hat. [Smoking Section]

The ‘Pitcher Name’ Phenomenon - Jon Bois uses irrefutable Sporcle-centric data to substantiate his theory that pitchers can be born with a “pitcher name”. It’s interesting and worth a look, even if it’s as scientifically valid as the other thing I learned on Sporcle, which is 99% of people know “Lion King” by only like 52% have heard of “Dumbo”. SMDH [SBN]

Watch Some Dude Get Schooled By a Woman in MMA Exhibition - It’s always fun to watch a woman beat up a man, for some reason. It’s one of the unexpected quirks of the women’s lib movement. If I ever run into a white woman with cornrows I am crossing the goddamn street. [Cage Potato]

James Harrison Comments On His Comments - Kissing Suzy Kolber handles the delicate James Harrison situation in a much more eloquent way than we did. And I had to come up with a new headline, because the real one has gay slurs and sacrilege. [KSK]

With Leather

Brooklyn Decker and the 2011 ESPYs - We talk a lot about Kate Upton on this network of websites, but don’t sleep on her 24-year old Old Lady equivalent. I think showing up in an Adam Sandler comedy aged Decker by about twenty years in our minds. You know Upton’s going to show up as Luis Guzman’s girlfriend or something dumb in one of those things. [With Leather]

The ‘Roger Clemens Mistrial’ Dugout - Sometimes I give these things esoteric headlines and nobody reads them, because the most important part of blogging is putting buzzwords in your title. I should’ve called it ROGER CLEMENS LIAR CHEATS JUSTICE SYSTEM RAPES INTEGRITY. Or “Fat Guy Cheats At Baseball, Life”. [The Dugout]

St. Louis Named Top City In Which to Find a Hot Baseball Girlfriend - This has been backed up by my good friend (and Anarchy Championship Wrestling Heavyweight Champion) Davey Vega as well as Dugout commenting stalwart Donut King. What else are they gonna do, cheer for the Blues? [With Leather]

Punte Interviews Urijah Faber and Jon “Bones” Jones - Our Man Zerkle visited the set of the Kenny Powers K-SWISS commercials and interviewed every awesome person there, except for the little one in the mask who fake fights that I would’ve been most interested in. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Annie and Britta are Naked and Spanking Each Other - I’m not sure how else to share this with you. Some photographer convinced Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs that this would be a good idea, and I mean I guess it is, but jeez. It’s one step away from Terry Richardson making the Gossip Girl cast french kiss soft serve. In a related story, Annie is still hotter than Britta by like forty-thousand miles. [Warming Glow]

First Look: Colin Farrell in Total Recall Remake - The original Total Recall is one of my girlfriend’s favorite movies, so I’m including this here. She once sent her Mom a text message that said “get your ass to Mars”. [Film Drunk]

No Emmy Nomination For Ron Swanson, The Internet Reacts - Nick Offerman’s face is more expressive and a better actor than the cast of “Glee” and at least 4 of those 6 people nominated from “Modern Family”. I still think awards are stupid, But they’d be less stupid if they went to the right people. [Uproxx]

Superbook - I mentioned this yesterday, but am including a formal link to it today. Here’s a thing I wrote a few years ago about my favorite religious Japanese cartoon from the 80s, featuring nudity, blasphemous robots and too many anime references for you to handle. [Progressive Boink]

I couldn’t find any images from the movie I was thinking about, so I used this picture of Ben Roethlisberger instead. Close enough!

Sports

VIDEO: Most Ridiculous Swedish Condom Commercial Ever Features Rabbits Dressed Like Hockey Players - As an ethical vegan, I do not approve of animals being dressed up and made to do things they have no say in doing. As a person on the Internet, I am going AHHH CUTEEE and hitting the play button. Also, I’m not convinced that in-real-life Mike Keenan wasn’t just a big rabbit this whole time. [BroBible]

Bernard Hopkins Says Donovan McNabb Isn’t Black - You know who else isn’t black? Dan Marino. Yeah, I said it. [Urban Daily]

Is The ‘Stud Back’ Dying? A Statistical Study Of How The Modern NFL Uses Running Backs - Jon makes a series of informative graphs while I sit here trying to figure out how to make squares in MS Paint. A great read. Question of the day: What is the most SB Nation question of all time? [SBN]

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I tried typing “Kate Upton Is On Us,” but my fingers broke. She’s figured out a way to get us talking about her every day, without ever really doing anything. I’d rather write about that pressurized glass than, say, Jeter. And so yeah, I guess as long as you’re in Sports Illustrated a couple of times you qualify as “sports,” so I can confidently cover things like Ms. Upton, Beyonce, or the Chicago White Sox.

Sports

Kate Upton is Good at Twitter - Well, she is. WWTDD has a gallery of examples, and they’re all almost as great as the one up there. This is way better than our “Paula Poundstone is Good At Twitter” slideshow, which was just pictures of neckties and a 50-year old comedienne who looks like The Mask. [WWTDD]

10 Tips From Sugar Shane Mosley About Getting Ready For A Fight - It’s an interesting list, if not a little obvious. Exercise! Get sleep! Practice punching! I’m guessing tip #11 is “wear a helmet the next time you fight Manny Pacquiao.” [Smoking Jacket]

PoV: Nike Basketball “Epic” x LeBron 8 P.S. - I’m not sure what those words mean, but this is some pretty cool Nike promotional material featuring Kobe Bryant, someone you won’t be seeing again until next season! Also, reminding you guys for the 40,000th time, you can’t give yourself a nickname, and Black Mamba is a lady. [Smoking Section]

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