Over the weekend, my Uproxxian colleague Danger Guerrero sent me a link to an old MTV Rock N Jock Softball clip, and it basically turned my afternoon into a complete waste. I didn’t get pushed into the YouTube wormhole as much as I willingly belly-flopped into the extensive search results for all things Rock N Jock, and I spent a good 4 or 5 hours reliving one of the most important pop cultural influences of my teenage years. After all, which child of the 90s didn’t desperately want to take a 10-point shot or a swing at the gold ball?

According to MTV’s website, the Rock N Jock franchise is alive and well, but that’s a bit misleading. Currently airing on MTV 2 on Saturday mornings, the latest version of Rock N Jock is a series hosted by Todd Richards and “Dirty” as they travel to various extreme sports events to talk to athletes like Shaun White and Ryan Sheckler, which basically sounds like every show that airs on Fuel TV. Clearly, it’s a far cry from the days of the Bricklayers and Violators battling for terrible fashion supremacy.

I’m certainly not the first blogger to get a wild hair and demand that MTV bring back the iconic softball, basketball, football and even bowling contests between actors, musicians and athletes, but as someone who once begged his mom to buy him a Homeboys baseball jersey for Christmas (thank you so much for not listening, mom) I think we’re due for some rematches. If Beavis and Butthead can make a comeback, then Rock N Jock certainly can, too.

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There have been very few surprises in the NBA through the first 7 games of the season. The Los Angeles Lakers struggled out of the gates but have turned it around, the Dallas Mavericks made some roster changes and their chemistry is hurting because of it, the Oklahoma City Thunder are dominant but need to solve the Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook thing, and the Miami Heat are already in postseason form. With the exception of the Boston Celtics and the New York Knicks struggling early, it’s mostly business as usual.

So instead of boring everyone with make believe insight and analysis as teams are still finding their feet after a 6-month vacation, I thought we’d dip into the game photo well to have some more fun with our new weekly ROFLMNBAO feature. Especially since the above image of Alex Rodriguez at yesterday’s Lakers game has given me such joy today.

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Hot off the news that Minka Kelly realized that canceled TV show after canceled TV show is no way to go through life, it appears that former WWE Diva Torrie Wilson has taken a page from Stacy Keibler’s book and found herself a sugar daddy of her own in New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez. Somewhere, Billy Kidman just hit a Seven Year Itch into a pool of his own tears.

Rodriguez is recovering from special surgeries that he recently traveled to Germany for, as miracle doctor Peter Wehling administered plasma platelet injections into the underachieving superstar’s shoulder and knee. According to the Daily Mail – which totally wins the Headline of the Day contest with the unrelated “Moobs (Looks like a Lady)” – Rodriguez and Wilson spent New Year’s Eve in Cabo, but that doesn’t really mean much.

After all, it’s only official for A-Rod when he gropes his woman in a fountain.

OBVIOUS DOUBLE UP-DATE: George Clooney and Stacy Keibler were in Cabo with A-Rod and Torrie.

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Of course the only picture I could find of Alex Rodriguez's doctor has Nick Nolte in it.

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently took a little trip to Germany to meet with Dr. Peter Wehling, who is the former doctor of Pope John Paul II and the guy who made Kobe Bryant’s knee feel better last year. Wehling is operating on – or has operated on, depending on the time zone difference – Rodriguez’s knee and shoulder, which have both been hampering the All-Star’s ability to perform at the level of a man who is paid $27.5 million per year. If you’re a Yankees fan, you should probably feel good about this because Wehling has a reputation for being legit.

And Wehling knows that his reputation is great, because he also makes some pretty ridiculous claims like:

“I am the only one to have found a way to cure arthritis,” he said. (Via ESPN)

I couldn’t ever become a doctor because if I see blood, I turn into a 3-year old girl. But if I were a doctor, I would want to be like Wehling. Whether he can or can’t cure arthritis won’t mean much to me for another decade or so, but if I had been the man responsible for keeping Pope J.P. the Deuce alive until the ripe age of 85, I’d be a little boastful, too.

Like, I’d walk into bars and tell the first hot girl I saw that she looks like she might have Shlarvenblarvenblitis, and she’d say, “I don’t know what that is, is it deadly?” And I’d respond, “It could be, but the only way to cure it is for you to rub your breasts in my face.” Then I’d high five the Pope and tell A-Rod to sock a few dingers.

Buzzfeed’s headline “An Idiot Got A Tim Tebow Tattoo [PIC]” is all you need to know, because seriously, what else is there to say? This guy got Tim Tebow as a centaur in a football helmet (and nothing else, it should be noted) with “Tebow Time” above it tattooed on his body. I’m not sure where on his body, exactly, but judging by the flat area and body hair I’d have to guess “his forehead”.

Thanks to this Internet Stranger, Tebow joins Alex Rodriguez in the “sports guys who have at one point been a centaur” category of our brains. Maybe it’s because he plays for a horse-themed team? If he played for the Eagles this tattoo would be of Tebow as a griffin? And then he could get traded to the Lions, and the guy would have to get a cover-up and depict Tebow as a chimera? Regardless, I really want to use Kratos to kill this guy now.

And is it just me, or is the cursive somehow the worst part?

[h/t to Robopanda]

The St. Louis Cardinals won Game 7 of the World Series on Friday to secure the franchise’s 11th title (11 in ’11 is not ironic, despite what Shane Victorino thinks) and they had a whopping 48 hours or so to enjoy it before the entire world crumbled around them. Yesterday morning, Tony LaRussa announced his retirement after 33 years of managing and three World Series wins (16 and 2 with the Cardinals, respectively). Instead of celebrating an incredibly improbable championship run, Cardinals players and fans now wonder, “Who will be the next manager and will it affect whether or not Albert Pujols stays?”

Only one man – St. Louis GM John Mozeliak – knows the answer to that first question, and only one man – Albert Pujols – knows the answer to the second question. Granted, his agent, wife and kids probably know, but he’s the only man who matters for right now. That doesn’t mean, though, that every sports writer, blogger and Internet commenter on Earth won’t make predictions, some of them accurate and most of them way off base. First up, former Cardinal and the grittiest shortstop ever, David Eckstein.

“Albert would stay if (Jose) Oquendo got the job.”

“My initial reaction (after learning of La Russa’s retirement) was, ‘It needs to be Jose Oquendo,’” Eckstein said. “When you played for Tony, you didn’t want to disappoint him. When I was playing infield for Jose, I didn’t want to disappoint him. I know how much he has put into this. When you can get a player to play outside of himself, for someone else, that’s when you get the best out of a player.”

(Via Fox Sports)

LaRussa has long lobbied for Oquendo to get his shot at managing a big league ballclub, and he certainly has a nice foundation and situation in St. Louis. He makes sense as a replacement, as the fans and players love him. But that really doesn’t mean much of anything.

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