Johnny Damon’s double-steal in Game 4 helped catalyze a big four-run ninth inning for the Yankees–and a 3-1 World Series lead against the Phillies. But all I can think about is A-Rod’s image of a centaur that supposedly hangs over his bed. It’s just…bizarre. If dude has that in his bedroom and looks at that every day, there really isn’t much that the New York media can do to him…except follow him around while he tries to copulate.
The Yankees slugger is reportedly such an egomaniac that he placed paintings of himself depicted as a centaur — a mythical creature who is half-man, half-horse — over his bed, an ex-girlfriend said.
“He was so vain,” the unidentified A-Rod lover told Us Weekly. “He had not one but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur.”–NY Post.
There are great depictions of the alleged portrait here, here and here, and you should be able to figure out what a centaur is from that. Although if Kate Hudson gets down with that sort of thing, it must work for something…
I haven’t been following this A-Rod benching too closely (1) because it’s the Yankees, and I’d hate to cut into half of the teams that ESPN is already covering, and (2) because Alex Rodriguez is quickly approaching Favre-ian territory with his off-field antics. But, I get a bit more interested when he might be missing games because of his “relationship” with Kate Hudson. I just made some air quotes at my laptop. You know, for effect. From Wonderwall:
A spy tells the Miami Herald that Kate and Alex were ”all over each other” at the hotel’s sushi joint, “sucking face for like an hour without coming up for air.”
Hudson, who is mom to 5-year-old Ryder, was supposedly acting like “an out-of-control teenager, giving A-Rod what seemed to be a lap dance.”
I was just thinking about what it would like to be loaded and famous; how depressing would it be to make out with someone normal. I mean, Kate’s no Megan Fox or anything, but it has to be something of a relief for him to dry-hump someone I’ve actually heard of. But A-Rod and Hudson have been linked together for a month, so if Rodriguez hasn’t figured out where to stick it at that point, a couple more days in the dugout might be just what he needed.
Update: Here’s the Sickpigs conception of A-Rod today — NSFW
If you’re going to sell a book about anyone in sports, it’s imperative that you make that person look like a total asshole. Selena Roberts has taken her cue with the inclusion of new allegations in her soon-to-be-released book about Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez. I’d give you the title of it, but if it was written by a woman, it’s probably not any good anyway. From the NY Daily News (via Yankees Daily):
A former high school teammate told Roberts the future No.1 MLB draft pick was on steroids and his coach knew it. Another student said the son of coach Rich Hofman admitted he saw Rodriguez use steroids.
Hofman said it was news to him. “Whatever he was doing, he was doing it somewhere else,” he said.
In one shocking disclosure, the book accuses A-Rod of “pitch tipping” when he was with the Rangers - letting a friendly opponent at the plate know which pitch was coming in lopsided games. Rodriguez expected players he helped would do the same for him when he was having an off night and needed to get his batting average up and it wouldn’t affect the outcome of the game.
The pitch-tipping thing blows me away–but who were these “friendly opponents,” anyway? Why out A-Rod and A-Rod alone? It’s accusations like this that make “investigations” in baseball seem like smear campaigns, passed off as cautionary “think of the children” rhetoric that makes everyone think that The Evil Steroid Era In Baseball is coming to an end. Please.
Oh, and Roberts also says A-Rod got gynecomastia in 2005 and everyone started calling him “Bitch Tits.” That’s the kind of baseless defamation I can get behind.
We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that Alex Rodriguez was sharing a pimp with Eliot Spitzer, that New York Governor that was entertaining talks of being The First Jewish Presidential Candidate before getting caught in the guestbook of said whorehouse as “Client No. 9.” The madam of that establishment has now come out and explained her relationship with the Yankee slugger.
A-Rod wooed ex-madam Kristin Davis with flowers, jewelry, persistence and heated e-mails, according to the sources.
“Throughout the years, there were a number of clients that I befriended and it was not uncommon for them to want the women they can’t have whether it be the phone bookers or the madam,” Davis said.
ASYLUM POLL: If you had A-Rod’s Money, Would You Blow It On High-End Escorts?
So of course, Davis lowered her “standards” and eventually started dating him, and why not? She’s somewhat mannish. I’m just disgusted by this whole story. Why couldn’t he just take out his frustrations with monogamy by beating his wife like the rest of these guys? Does he think he can just buy these women, like one might buy a pack of gum at a gas station? He does? Oh, okay.
When you’re a millionaire athlete, you can afford to cut your own glory hole into a mirror and do whatever comes naturally when checking yourself out in the mirror. And you can do it while posing for a pictorial for not-so-noted fag mag DETAILS, the magazine for guys that don’t realize they’re gay yet. From the New York Post (thanks, John):
The mag captures A-Rod’s essence, with pictures of him smooching his own reflection, stretching his toned muscles on a bare mattress and brooding seductively for the camera.
Despite being one of the most recognizable men in the city, A-Rod told Details - in an issue that hits newsstands a week from today - that he enjoys taking the subway to Yankee Stadium, usually on Fridays. “For night games . . . the day to do it is a Friday, because traffic is horrible,” he said.
That’s also when the trannies make themselves available. Those girls only like to work on weekends. It’s the only time they can get time away from their busy jobs on Wall Street. And we wonder why the economy is all buggered.
If you were waiting for Jimmy Fallon’s shitbomb of a talk show debut last night, you might have caught Katie Couric’s appearance on Letterman about 30 minutes earlier. Right out of the gate, Letterman asked her about Rodriguez, whom she has interviewed and, um, offered career advice.
On the “Late Show with David Letterman” Monday, Couric said she was speaking to Rodriguez frequently when he opted out of his contract in 2007, trying to convince him to do a “60 Minutes” interview.
At one point, Rodriguez called to ask her, “What team do you think I should play for?”
Letterman responded: “That should have told you he was on the juice, that he’s calling you.”
And that joke was met by 2 seconds of laughter, followed by 10 seconds of applause. Seriously, if the joke sucks, don’t laugh at it. And don’t alleviate your guilt by clapping. The laugh-clap-clap is why Jimmy Fallon has a job again. Don’t laugh at that. But go ahead and clap. Ah, sweet succulent applause.
[AP]
