Rios, seen here some women just the way he likes them: clothed
I didn’t realize there were other teams in the AL East besides the Rays, Red Sox, and Yankees, but apparently a game between the “Blue Jays” and “Orioles” was interrupted by a streaker. Big League Stew has outfielder Alex Rios’s curious response:
A few pitches before Alex Rios hits a go-ahead homer against Rocky Cherry, a naked man leaped onto the field and ran until caught. Rios said the moment helped him find clarity. “It did (distract) for a little bit but I think it was funny. It got my spirits up,” Rios said. “I’ve seen two people naked. The other one was a few years ago. It was a little disturbing the first time.“
Really? Naked people get his spirits up? I wonder if my lawyer can use that. “Your honor, my client was merely trying to bring joy to others by exposing himself.” Yeaaahhhh, that’s the ticket.
(Photo via On the DL)
The Padres' Michael Barrett fouled a ball off his face last night, then spent a couple days writhing on the ground in pain as if a baseball traveling at 90 miles an hour hurts or something.
I don't want to brag, but this is basically the whole reason I invented the OUCH MY FACE tag. What a great day for that tag. I feel the same sort of pride I hope to have when my eldest child graduates from college. Because seriously, do you realize how much hot young early-20s ass is gonna be there?
Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols injured the Padres' pitcher and catcher in the span of two batters last night. Pujols began with a line drive off the grill of Chris Young, breaking his nose and making his jersey into a Spray 'n Wash stain stick commercial. Pujols then came around to score, and his slide demolished Chris Young's ankle like a big rig hitting a parked Smart Car.
Above is the video, and — true to baseball form — it's two brief moments of action packed into six breathless minutes of people standing around. Young's face gets smashed right away, then there's a lot of writhing around and medical attention while the announcers claim the replay is "too gruesome" to show. Hey, fuck you guys. Gruesome is the only reason I'm watching this.
Finally, around the three-minute mark, we get to see the second act. By this point, Pujols is tired of acting like he cares about hurting people, so he just goes back to the dugout. Reached for comment, Pujols affected a bad Russian accent and said, "If he dies, he dies."
[FanIQ]
It's 9:30 on the East Coast, and a few minutes ago the Rockies and Padres finished up their 22-inning marathon in San Diego, the longest MLB game in almost 15 years. Colorado won 2-1, and how the hell you can only score three runs in 22 innings is a damn mystery to me. Congratulations, National League, your version DH-less version of baseball is more pure. And mind-numbingly dull.
The Rockies finally won 2-1, with Troy Tulowitzki's two-out RBI double bringing in Willy Taveras with an unearned run in nearly empty Petco Park. A game that lasted 6 hours, 16 minutes was decided by an unearned run.
Reigning NL Cy Young Award winner Jake Peavy threw the game's first pitch at 7:05 p.m. The game didn't end until 1:21 a.m., when Padres pitcher Glendon Rusch took a called third strike. Colorado's Yorvit Torrealba, who caught all 22 innings, wearily pumped a fist in celebration.
Big deal, I wearily pumped your mom. Hold on, lemme check… yep, that's a burn.
In other, more exciting sports news involving long-ass games, the Flyers beat the Caps 4-3 in double-overtime to take a 3-1 series lead. Hmmm… there was an exciting playoff hockey game, and I lead with the boring baseball game. This is what happens when my editor is me.
The St. Louis Cardinals will trade Jim Edmonds and $1 million to the San Diego Padres for minor league third baseman David Freese pending approval form the Commissioner's office. Great, just what the anemic Padres' offense needs, a high-average hitter in the prime of his career. I imagine Jim will get at least 100 at-bats before he injures himself show-boating on a routine catch in the outfield. The Padres traded for this dynamic star because they couldn't come to terms with Mike Cameron, who may go to the Cardinals now. Wow, exciting. This is like if Mickey Mantle was traded for Willie Mays.
Anyway, can Russell Branyan play outfield? Because no one has signed Geoff Jenkins yet, and with Mike Cameron on the market, one major league team has the opportunity to create the 500 Strikeout outfield. That would be awesome. Can you imagine the 3-4-5 batters going 0 for 12 with a dozen Ks? (Note: This exercise will be easier for Cubs fans.) In other thrilling Hot Stove action, the Diamondbacks traded for Dan Haren from the A's and some other guys from the Astros. Have fun reading about it - I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon researching the highest K total for an outfield in MLB history or looking at porn. -KD
Well, that was exciting. If you had four hours and 40 minutes of free time last night, I hope you spent it watching the Padres-Rockies play-in game. First Colorado was up 3-0, then San Diego got up 5-3 thanks to an Adrian Gonzalez grand slam, then the Rox chipped away until they had a 6-5 lead, then it got tied up and they went to extra innings. Without getting into the details too much, most of the runs were scored as a direct result of outfielders playing Little League defense — bad routes, poor hand-eye coordination.
Extra innings, yadda yadda, Pads get a two-run homer in the 13th from Scott Hairston and send out Trevor Hoffmann to save the game. Back-to-back doubles from Kaz Matsui and Troy Tulowitzki, followed by a Matt Holliday triple, tied the game. Then Holliday tried to score on a shallow flyout to right field, and he missed the plate on his slide but got called safe. It was the wrong call, but whatever. At least somebody finally ended the game.
Then the Rockies celebrated with Coors Light, which ensured that nobody got drunk. The End.
(Photo: Getty Images)
