Aleksander Emelianenko is fighting Bob Sapp. It is going to be amazing.

As Cage Potato phrased it, it’s one of the most notorious can-crushers in MMA history against its most notorious can, and the only pertinent question is “will Alexander throw or land a punch before Sapp drops and pretends to be incapacitated.” My cat could knock out Bob Sapp by jumping onto his lap.

To hype the fight, Emelianenko has gone into outer space to punch-murder sand pirates. I mean, that’s what I pieced together by watching this video. I don’t speak Russian, so maybe I’m wrong. Check it out for yourself, and ponder how hilarious Bob Sapp’s return diss is gonna be if the opening blow is “I cannot be held in the chains of space sand pirates.”

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With Leather stock Russia image.

Russian fighter Aleksander Emelianenko, brother of Fedor, has long dreamt of leaving the mother land behind and starting a new life in America, as an ass-kicking UFC champion. For a while, it seemed like that dream was goulash, because Aleks had been linked to both Hepatitis B and C for quite some time. But as recently as March, it seemed like he could, in fact, be on his way to a UFC contract and fighting in the States, but that seems squashed because it has been 5 months and nothing has happened.

As for why he’s not here pummeling opponents right now, fellow Russian fighter Sergei Kharitonov offered his own insight in a recent interview with Valetudo.ru. Aleks blamed Fedor’s loss to Dan Henderson on his trainers, but Sergei defended those trainers because he previously worked with them, too.

“All organizations in the world know about his hepatitis C and nobody wants to have business with him. He has drunk himself into this disease. He is drug addicted alcoholic and criminal. All his disrespectful remarks to the athletes are just a bullshit. How can he fight with hepatitis? Nobody’s gonna take him to any tournament. He lies that he hasn’t been to prison but it’s not true. He has.” (Via Cage Potato)

Hey Sergei, why don’t you tell us how you really feel?

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