No matter how many home runs Josh Hamilton hits or how many Austrian newspapers refer to him as an ex-junkie for doing so, the story of the 2012 baseball season thus far has and will continue to be the struggles of Albert Pujols.

Some call it a slump. Some call it penance for what he did to the St. Louis Cardinals. Some just enjoy typing their favorite slurs behind a hashtag. Regardless, the Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim et al. have found themselves at the bottom of the AL West with nothing but the hope of a quick turnaround from El West Coast Hombre to save them.

Will it happen? Who knows? Today’s Dugout explores that question. It’s after e’jump.

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Our ongoing fantasy baseball games through FanDuel haven’t been going well for Albert Pujols, or me — poor Albert’s batting .208 and I upped my performance in the last game by over 100 places and still finished in the low 400s. It’s not a good year for the two of us.

So we’re switching it up … this time the Friday League (happening tomorrow night) is offering prizes from a $200 cash pool, but with only 110 seats available in the game. The entry fee is a measly two bucks and you can enter up to three times, but I only get to enter once, with my sad Albert Pujols team. Because of that, you can get your entry fee back on all three of their entries if all of the them beat my team. It’s basically free again, with even easier money on top than normal. Sign up before I shake my head at you.

Here’s how it works, in case you’re a square and haven’t played yet:

And with this new set up, you’d be losing money by NOT playing. Sign up now and put me out of my misery!

Welcome to a new weekly feature that we’ll be running in which we make a bunch of predictions about the upcoming week in sports. I would have run this yesterday, but HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF THE HEAVENS DID YOU SEE PAULINA GRETZKY? Also, hello to all our new readers in Finland!

Anywho, we miss a lot of little tidbits and interesting items during the day, for one reason or another, and not only will I use this as an opportunity to include more hockey news and discuss how humiliating last night’s St. Louis Blues loss was, but I will also lay my reputation as America’s last great gentleman blogger with a girl’s name on the line with 10 bold predictions.

Prepare to have your minds blown. (Side note: I would have posted this yesterday, but my crystal ball just kept telling me: “Dude, the Blues SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.”)

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Aw, at least your beard is neatly trimmed.

Yesterday, I examined the slump of Albert Pujols and his inability to hit a home run so far this season, as he and his Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are settling themselves into quite the hole. The Halos lost their 4th consecutive game yesterday – the Tampa Bay Rays won 4-3 thanks to a walk-off bomb from Brandon Allen – and are now 9 games back of the first place Texas Rangers. Not looking good for Mike Scioscia and company.

But the good news is that Pujols was 1-for-4 yesterday, ending his hitless streak at 21 at-bats. Still, he has no home runs this season and he has tied his longest power outage at 26 games. The man who just inked a 10-year, $240 million deal – with another decade or so of front office work tacked on – now hasn’t hit a dinger in 105 regular season at-bats. Apparently people are ignoring his Mr. October night against the Texas Rangers in the World Series, but who remembers when he was a St. Louis Cardinal anyway?

Thankfully, the Internet is awesome and someone made my favorite photoshop of the week as a tribute to Pujols. Seriously, I heart this so much.

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When the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim swooped in and signed Albert Pujols out of nowhere, a lot of people thought giving the guy $240 million was a pretty bold move. It turned out, though, that the team just signed a gazillion dollar TV deal, so the Angels had a quarter of a billion dollars burning a hole in their pocket, and a 3-time MVP who has been a consistent .300/30/100 guy is hardly a risk. So why the hell does he suck so far this season?

At least that’s the question that the media types are asking as Pujols is just a few games from breaking his longest streak without a home run (26 games). El Hombre or the Machine, whichever he prefers to be called in his new city, is hitting a pathetic .222 with 0 dingers and just 4 RBI in his first 18 games with the Halos, who are dead last in the AL West at 6-12. But don’t worry, those media folks know exactly what’s wrong.

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Here’s a quick illustration of my fantasy baseball prowess:

1. Pick the best guys in baseball.
2. Watch them have their worst game ever, all at once.
3. Watch Ben Francisco or whoever hit 5 home runs.
4. Find out everybody but me drafted Ben Francisco.
5. Finish 745th out of 600, win zero dollars.

But because you are not me, you’ve got a great chance of winning money and should sign up for our free fantasy baseball game with FanDuel. Here’s how it works:

The cash in question is a $500 cash pool, so as long as your 8 best guys don’t spend Friday night grounding out you’re guaranteed a dollar or two. And that’s an important note: the game happens tonight, so if you’re reading this, hop on over to FanDuel right now and set up your squad.

Then come back here and drop a comment about who you picked, because I can’t suffer the shame of being me at this much longer.