This video has been seen by about a billion people since it went up on Sunday and has probably been shared everywhere from WikiHow to your Geocities homepage, but we haven’t updated since Friday and don’t have any cromulent UPROXX network morning links, so here you go.

If you haven’t seen it, it’s one of the nicest videos uploaded over the holiday season, and way more enjoyable than watching a kid get a white iPhone and throw it across the room — an Alabama dad gets surprised with BCS National Title tickets for the Alabama/Notre Dame game in Miami on January 7. It’s a lot like last year when I surprised my dad with Cowboys tickets, except 1) I didn’t upload video of it, and 2) this guy won’t have to sit in the nosebleeds at Cowboy Stadium and watch Tony Romo get hurt five seconds into the game.

So, like the headline says, what’d you get for Christmas? Let’s get some holiday conversation going so we can pretend like it isn’t totally and completely over.

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If you’re a fan of the Cleveland Browns (cough), you were probably happy when the team traded up in April to select Trent Richardson, the University of Alabama running back who led the team to a national championship and kinda looks like Robert Griffin III had a man-baby with Benedict Cumberbatch.

If you’ve been a fan of the Browns for more than seven months, you started waiting for the other foot to drop, citing LITERALLY EVERY OTHER DRAFT EVER as an example of Cleveland’s terrible, terrible luck. You remember Courtney Brown’s leg, William Green’s back wounds, Kellen Winslow’s motorcycle and Phil Taylor’s pec. You remember everything about Tim Couch other than Heather Kozar.

Anyway, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you don’t have to wait very long for that other foot. The bad news is … well, you’re a Browns fan, you’ll figure it out.

The team issued a one-sentence statement Wednesday saying that the running back, picked No. 3 overall in April’s draft, will see a specialist on Thursday.

The statement says: “Trent Richardson is traveling to Pensacola, Fla., where he will have his left knee further evaluated by Dr. James Andrews tomorrow.” (via ESPN)

Or, “ESPN issued a two-sentence statement on Thursday recapping Wednesday’s announcement that Trent Richardson’s knee doesn’t work and you’re shit out of luck”.

So what do you think? Is this a temporary setback for a man with a bright NFL future, or another example of Cleveland being one of two U.S. cities built over a Hellmouth? More importantly, will he ever be able to break a dude’s ankles like this again?

In the past, regarding the Jerry Sandusky scandal and Penn State, we have tried to be as mature and considerate as we possibly could be, because we are not sports preachers, at least not most of the time. We do not profess to be journalists, nor are we out to provide big scoops and breaking news. We’re just a couple of guys who like to present prominent sports stories and Kate Upton news with a touch of humor.

There is nothing funny about what Jerry Sandusky did, and with that there is nothing funny about the Freeh Report’s findings, released this morning. Sure, there were jokes to be made about the name Freeh Report, but we don’t have any jokes about what Sandusky is currently rotting in prison for. I don’t have much of a response to what the findings revealed about Joe Paterno, because it reaches far beyond “disappointing”. I also can’t bring myself to read the entire Freeh Report, because I’m a natural pessimist. I think this world is spiraling into chaos and I’d love to spend my last 150-160 years on this planet on an island. God knows what reading the entire report would do to my brain.

But you can read it if you’d like. All 250+ pages are available right here. If you’re a Penn State student, student-athlete, alumni, fan, and/or employee, you’re not going to like any of it. Nobody is going to like any of it. There will be outrage. There are already people calling for the NCAA to drop the death penalty hammer, Penn State to destroy Joe Paterno’s statue, and probably much worse.

Again, we have nothing funny to say about any of it.

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You may not know Jackson Blankenship by name, but you’ve definitely seen him by now. He’s the heckling Alabama basketball fan with the bitter beer face mug and the oversized copy of his face that was recently caught behind the basket, tormenting University of Florida players. He’s a simple man with simple goals, according to his Tumblr profile:

Top ten things I want to get involved with in college (no particular order)

10. Making viral videos
9. Producing an album filled with awesome yet strange music through Garage Band
8. Selling / Buying stuff on eBay
7. Going on an obscene amount of trips
7. Learn to count
6. Attempt stand up comedy
5. Meet Conan O’Brien
4. Join a band and play at least one bar show
3. [Over Four years] see every MLB team play. Even you, Toronto Blue Jays.
2. Make a short film
1. Dominate some intramural sports, yo.

Last night, Jackson made the big time as he donned a new York Knicks “Linsanity” t-shirt and he sat behind the basket with his trademark face sign during the Knicks’ 100-92 loss to the New Jersey Nets. And cementing his new celebrity fan status is a visit to the Today Show this morning. Somewhere, cigar-smoking golf fan is weeping.

As an added bonus, a guy named Jordy Appel also scooped the Today Show on the first big interview with Jackson (I assume they’re friends) which quells my demand for a window into the mind of this strange new character.

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Last year, the University of Alabama caused a minor sh*t storm when the football team set up a live cam to announce and introduce the program’s latest recruiting class on National Signing Day. It wasn’t that people had a problem with the fact that Nick Saban and Co. were bragging about their new studs. No, it was because they had the very not unattractive Briana Baisden assisting them, and people thought that was inappropriate.

Fun fact: People are morons.

(Image via 247sports.com)

So this year, Saban and the Alabama football program stuck to their guns by having yet another fax girl shake her ass for the web cam, and boy did she ever give the National Champion Crimson Tide fans what they wanted. As you can see in the banner pic, this year’s fax girl definitely delivered the goods.

Too bad we were trolled so hard.

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When the final BCS rankings came out and revealed which two teams would be playing for the BCS Championship, a good majority of us responded with a collective, “Aw come on, not them again!” When LSU and Alabama played on Nov. 5, we witnessed a 9-6 overtime festival of snores. Last night, when they met again in the BCS Championship game… well, at least one of them scored a touchdown this time.

Make no mistake, Alabama put on a heck of a show, dismantling the nation’s top team to the tune of 21-0. I remember hearing one of the commentators say that this was the first time that the No. 1-ranked team had ever been blanked in a championship game, but I was also busy trying to convince the bartender to put on a hockey game so we could watch something more exciting.

I’ll give LSU coach Les Miles some credit, though. It is pretty ballsy to play in a National Championship game without a quarterback while running a sorority flag football offense. I’m sure Nick Saban appreciated it, too.

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