The jiu-jitsu prowess of ‘Modern Family’ ‘Married … With Children’ star Ed O’Neill is no surprise. The man is a God in these parts, and in the past we’ve written about how he could kill a robber and how he was more or less Brock Lesnar to the kid versions of Ryron and Rener Gracie. We’ve also written about him kicking Bubba Smith’s ass more than once.

We also write a lot about WWE Champion CM Punk. He’s a fixture of The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column, and kinda-sorta changed the direction of the company (or at least the company’s “main event in the middle of the show” scene) during 2011′s ‘Summer Of Punk.’ He’s a Gracie practitioner, as well, and has shown up on the Gracie Breakdown.

Oddly enough, I never thought I’d see them together.

So hey, who do we need to talk to about having Al Bundy as the celebrity guest host of Raw? He knows his way around a wrestling ring. He once went the distance against a Gorgeous Lady Of Wrestling.

[h/t to Andrew Johnson]

‘Modern Family’ star Ed O’Neill (“star” meaning “one of the 34 people from the show nominated for Best Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series at Sunday’s Primetime Emmy Awards) is a 22-year veteran of Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Long story short, if Ed had gotten into MMA a little earlier, our ‘Married… With Children’ edition of Sports On TV would’ve been lighter on softball and heavier on Al shooting a double-leg takedown on Jefferson D’Arcy and tapping him with a Kimura lock.

Because “Al Bundy is a jiu-jitsu master” is a story that never stops being amazing, Ed O’Neill stopped by the Gracie Academy in Beverly Hills to make an appearance on ‘Gracie Breakdown’, helping Ryron and Rener Gracie analyze the important moments from UFC 152′s Jon ‘Bones’ Jones/Vitor Belfort fight. At one point the brothers explain that when they were little, “Uncle Ed” would trap them on the ground a la Brock Lesnar and beat them up. It is the best.

The breakdown begins with an analysis of the beautiful armbar that Belfort landed on Jones in round one. Ed explains how Jones’ style of ground and pound leaves him exposed to armbars, and then they analyze why Vitor wasn’t able to fully dislocate Jones’ elbow joint. They also discussed the critical details of the round 4 Americana Armlock that Jones’ used to seal the deal and retain title. Very exciting stuff.

Video is below.

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Let’s rock.

Each week, Sports On TV looks at the 20 (or so) greatest sports-related moments from television shows that aren’t always about sports. This week we tackle the low-brow 1987-97 FOX classic ‘Married… With Children’, and honestly, it’s the closest we’ve come to saying f**k it and just writing about sports shows. MWC featured more sports moments and guest appearances than almost any other sitcom, and even featured a sports moments clip-show in the middle of its 10th season. Instead of just finding that on YouTube and posting it here, we’ve put together our own list.

The entire run of ‘Married…’ is currently streaming on Netflix, so if you read about Al Bundy punching a heavyset lady in the stomach or beating a bunch of old people at track and field and want to check it out, you can do so there. If our top 20 didn’t feature your favorite moment, be sure to drop down into the comments section and let us know what we missed.

But for now, enjoy the 20 greatest sports moments from ‘Married… With Children’. Let’s get the greatest moment in television history out of the way first …

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Why is it, that if a man kills another man in battle it’s called heroic; yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it’s called murder?

“Modern Family” star Ed O’Neill would be able to answer that question. According to Black Belt magazine, O’Neill, most famous for scoring four touchdowns in a single high school football game, is also (apparently) a 15-year Gracie veteran with a black belt in jiu-jitsu. It’s sort of like finding out Alf could kill you with a palm strike. O’Neill got hooked on jiu-jitsu after visit the Rorion Gracie’s gym in Torrance, California, and failing the “robber test”. The test: a robber breaks into your home and pins you down. You’ve got to find a way to get up off the ground. Can you do it?

Taking the bait, he asked Gracie how he’d managed to maintain complete control (while on top of O’Neil). Once the principle was explained the simplicity of the art floored O’Neil. He set up an appointment to begin training and has been rolling ever since.

This is in direct contract to Ashton Kutcher, who recently put up pictures of himself wearing a borrowed black belt during a trip to Rio de Janeiro. The shorter version of the story: Ashton Kutcher is going to get murdered by a home invader, and Al Bundy is going to kick that guy’s ass. Let’s rock.

To celebrate the spread of this celebrity fun fact, here’s a montage of Al beating the crap out of people.

[h/t to Cagewriter by way of Fightlinker]
(man, my site needs a tougher name)