If I’ve learned anything from my decades of dating pop stars, actresses and models, it’s that there is always an agenda. For example, my last girlfriend, a Victoria’s Secret model, used to say things like, “Leave me alone” and “I’ve never met you” and “Seriously, my boyfriend is going to kick your ass”, and I knew that it was just her way of saying, “Please send me more collages of us with baby animals”. That’s why when Miss Alabama USA and girlfriend of that guy whose team won something earlier this week, Katherine Webb, suddenly canceled her TV appearances and changed her phone number, we knew there had to be a little more to the story.

Especially with this wacky bro involved.

Additionally, everyone should know by now that when you Tweet something on the Twitters and then delete it, it’s never gone. NEVER. Someone always has a copy of that Tweet, no matter how fast you think you were. And someone indeed grabbed a copy of a long-since-deleted Tweet from Webb yesterday that kind of negates all that privacy stuff…

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It has been three days since the No. 2 Alabama Crimson Tide laid a hurtin’ on the No. 1 Notre Dame Fighting Irish in the BCS National Championship Game, and I already had to look up when the game was played just so I could write how many days it has been. Thanks to Notre Dame’s failure to show up – as well as the Internet generation’s lack of attention span – most of us can’t even remember the score of that forgettable game, because this week has been all about Miss Alabama USA Katherine Webb.

Webb, of course, is easy to remember, because she’s the attractive brunette who was sitting with Alabama QB AJ McCarron’s mom during the game, which caused Brent Musberger to say what half of America was thinking. (The other half, of course, ran to the Gawker comments section to call Webb ugly.) For her few moments of TV time, Webb gained more than 100,000 Twitter followers over night, to which Darren Rovell replied, “Hubba hubba.”

Naturally, TV networks and media outlets have been fawning over this relatively unknown beauty queen, because she’s the boo of the national champion QB – ol’ whatshisname, as I’m sure The View has called him – so she’s already made a few TV appearances to talk about this whirlwind week. Unfortunately, that’s all coming to an end, because Webb has canceled her remaining TV appearances and changed her phone number. I blame Darnell Dockett for that second part.

Thankfully, TMZ knows what’s really going on.

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I don’t even know where to start with the 2013 BCS National Championship Game. For starters, I wrote yesterday that my gut said it felt like a 20-point Alabama win. F*ck that. 42-14 didn’t even do this game justice. The Crimson Tide owned the No. 1 Notre Dame Fighting Irish in a way that we’ve never seen before, but this game was over in the first quarter when No. 2 Alabama stormed out to a 14-0 lead. Seriously, there wasn’t a glimpse of life from the Irish that even suggested it was going to be a game.

But I’m a smart guy, and you’re smart readers, and we all know when this title game was actually over. It was when ESPN announcer Brent Musberger had absolutely nothing else to talk about but ‘Bama QB AJ McCarron’s girlfriend and Miss Alabama USA, Katherine Webb. Yes, she’s a very attractive girl. And yes, she is an Auburn girl, which makes it so much more of a statement for Tide fans. However, this should have been about the product on the field. Instead, it’s about how she gained more than 100,000 followers on Twitter last night.

Hell, even Arizona Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett wanted to take Webb to Wingstop, because she apparently owes him for all of her new followers (Sure, dude). And, much more importantly to our cause, Kate Upton offered her own shoulder for Irish fans to cry on. Bottom line – this game was a humiliating one for Notre Dame fans. But they were lucky that we had a distraction like Webb.

With that said, here were some of my favorite random BCS title game Tweets, set to the tune of Miss Alabama’s greatest hits. ROLL TIDE!

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