Now I don’t know much about the music that you crazy kids are listening to today, but I’m told by the barista at my Starbucks that Jay Z is a hippity hop rap maker, and he’s quite successful. So successful, in fact, that he could write down 100 jobs and careers on a piece of paper, cover his eyes and point, and just up and do whichever gig he chooses, simply because he’s wealthier than most nations and just doesn’t give a proverbial f*ck.

That’s why it wasn’t very shocking when New York Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano announced that he had fired his agent Scott Boras and declared that he was the first professional athlete to sign with Jay Z’s new sports agency, Roc Nation Sports.

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Finally, a Pirates of the Caribbean Dugout that doesn’t have to be about Pittsburgh.

Philadelphia Phillies star John Mayberry Jr. made headlines this week when he asked his agent to hook him up with Antoinette Nikprelaj, an actress who played a sexy mermaid in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I’d be lying if I could tell you which one she is, even with Google image search. From an article in the New York Post:

An agent at CAA’s baseball division, which represents Mayberry, has been firing off e-mails to rival agency Innovative Artists, asking them to “connect” the outfielder with their client, sultry model and actress Nikprelaj.

The story goes on to say that Andy Roddick met Brooklyn Decker when he saw a picture of her and got his agent to talk to her, so I guess “get your agent to e-mail somebody” is the new “bathe her and bring her to me”. As the official archivist for the chatroom of Major League Baseball I can’t hear “a guy on the Phillies wants to do it with a mythological creature” and not share this, so please click through to enjoy today’s Dugout, all about a man with a dream. A really specific, out-of-his-league dream.

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By now, most of you probably have seen the George Dohrmann piece in SI about Josh Luchs, the sports agent that sought to pay dozens of college football players (including Santonio Holmes, pictured) in hopes of representing them when they reached the NFL. It’s a compelling read and a peek behind the curtain at the underbelly of how money changes hands under the table in the football world.

Let’s not overblow this: this is not a “very chilling issue” as ESPN’s Chris Folwer would have you believe. This is merely a list of people that we all knew was happening anyway. Anyone that follows college football and doesn’t have his head buried in the sand knows that college football players are getting money from somebody, either from enterprising agents or boosters with ties to their schools. It’s the residual effect of the NCAA creating a black market for talented 18-year-olds who, currently, have nowhere else to cash in on their talents. But I’m telling you something you already know.

What most of us don’t know is how the NCAA manages to remain a glorified sports sweatshop, complete with a big white sign out front that reads AMATEUR ATHLETICS, where they remain unchallenged by the parties involved. Look, these kids set their own value when they sign their letters-of-intent, but the idea that the NCAA maintains the moral high ground here is a croc. I’m not saying that players necessarily should get paid. I’m just saying that we shouldn’t act surprised, from wherever it happens to be, when the money actually does start rolling in.