two chihuahuas were poisoned while under the care of Archuleta's mother.

“There were meatballs with green pellets sprinkled on them lying in the backyard near the dog bowls,” said the mother, Vange Archuleta. She said the dogs, Ace and Ren, were about 11 years old when they died after the tainted meatballs were thrown into her backyard…

Chandler police detective David Ramer said officers pursued several leads in the case but couldn’t identify any suspects. He said the case is currently suspended.

Really?  Several leads?  Apparently Chandler, Arizona is a haven for Cold War operatives and Shakespearean villains.

Listen, I'm not a big fan of chihuahuas — no self-respecting man is — but you can't just go poisoning whatever dogs you don't like.  You have to electrocute or hang them as Michael Vick intended.

[Busted Coverage] 

Word on the street is that new Chicago Bears safety Adam Archuleta spent last weekend at the Palms in Las Vegas.  And, being the heads-up player that he is, he brought along his girlfriend, Jennifer Walcott.

Walcott, for those of you who masturbate without the use of pictures, is a former Playboy Playmate who enjoys astrology, pilates, holistic medicine, and "sex with [her] man," according to her MySpace page.  So, considering he went to Arizona State, I'm guessing they don't spend their Friday nights discussing Kierkegaard or playing Scrabble.  Which is a good thing, because these picture are far more enjoyable.