I’m still not 100% on why it exists, but here’s a parody of Vlade Divac featuring his stage production about the life of Abraham Lincoln. Key l line: “I NEVER DIED!” (via Cosby)

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Have you ever wondered what Charles Barkley thinks about America’s Presidents? So far his opinions have been mostly about whether or not he’s a role model (he is not), how everyone who isn’t Charles Barkley plays basketball (turrible), Weight Watchers (it’s a scam) and the Five Buck Box (it rocks, it rocks). Also, hey, have you ever wanted to imagine Ernie Johnson as a slave-master? I know I have.

Please enjoy this soundbite from the Sprint Halftime Report, wherein Sir Charles ranks Abraham Lincoln over his previous favorite, Barack Obama, because Daniel Day-Lewis hasn’t played Obama in a movie. Yet.

“Abe Lincoln’s my new favorite president. Know why? If it wasn’t for him we would be calling Ernie, Boss.”

Part of me wishes Barkley had gone with a less talked-about President (suggestion: “James K. Polk’s my new favorite president. Know why? Because he was the Napoleon of the stump.”), but I understand his choice. Abe was an important guy. He also loved sports, which makes Barkley’s pick even better. Want to know how awesome Abraham Lincoln was at sports? Here’s an historical drawing of him chokeslamming a dude:

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As I pointed out last week, Jose Canseco, the former baseball player who uses Twitter to beg Major League Baseball teams to consider signing a 48-year old designated hitter, now has a new gig as a columnist for Vice. In his debut at that site last week, Canseco weighed in on the necessity of guns in the wake of the Aurora, CO shooting. Canseco’s ultimate point was that if you’re not a juiced up martial artist, you need guns because you’re not an imposing force of fists like he is.

This week, Canseco is back to discuss something that’s more near and dear to his heart – bankruptcy. Canseco admits that he just filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy last week, and that’s shocking. I thought for sure that the guy who was once evicted from his home and needed pro bono legal representation to get his chandeliers back would have been doing just fine. Shows what I know.

Regardless, please allow the man who now claims to be a victim of the government’s evil ways to dispense his incredible amazing financial advice.

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"Come on, hail to the chief, boo."

After trailing by as many as 10 points to Team Brazil, the U.S. Men’s Olympic Basketball Team had plenty of people laughing at that whole Dream Team debate last night. But Kobe Bryant LeBron James and Co. got the last laugh, as they pulled off an 80-69 victory, sending the Brazilians home to their stupid beaches and ridiculously sexy women. Ha, losers.

So with the win in the books and basketball disaster averted, the nation’s focus on the actual big loser of the night – President Barack Obama, who was booed by the crowd at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC after he and the First Lady failed to smooch it up when the Kiss Cam was pointed at them early in the game. Only after another Kiss Cam attempt in the 4th quarter did Barry-O finally give his lady some sugar, but to many people, it was simply too late.

Look, I know that some people think the Kiss Cam needs to disappear, but I’m an advocate of this tradition that dates back to the 1700s. I’m also here to defend the Obamas, because as With Leather’s Official Presidential Sporting Event Attendance Authority, I know that they’re hardly the first First Couple to ever muff the Kiss Cam opportunity, as evidenced by this collection of awkward moments that I have put together.

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