She's the front runner. I wonder why...

There’s never really a bad time to post a picture of a scantily clad beautiful woman, but this time, it’s actually relevant. The gambling site Paddy Power has joined forces with the newspaper The Irish Mirror to combine man’s most heated passions: sports, beautiful women, and nonsensical competition, into the greatest idea of all time. Betting on the wives and girlfriends of World Cup players. The front runner? Ms. Irina Shayk, the above-pictured girlfriend of Christiano Ronaldo.

The betting house Paddy Power has teamed with the Irish Mirror to allow wagering on the wives and girlfriends of World Cup players.

Irina Shayk, the girlfriend of Cristiano Ronaldo is the 9-4 favorite to be voted overall sexiest while Abbey Clancy, girlfriend of Peter Crouch, is 5-2 and the favorite for best legs. –USAToday

The categories up for wager include: best legs, grumpiest WAG, sexiest WAG, best smile, and most stylish. I can think of about a hundered things I’d rather gamble on than “most stylish,” and I’d list them if I still wasn’t confused about seeing that Abbey Clancy is linked to Peter Crouch. Peter Crouch is the Greg Ostertag Luc Longley of the EPL, and should certainly not be with the heaven-sent mirage that is Abbey Clancy. “But Ryan,” you say. “Isn’t someone’s inner beauty more important than their physical attractiveness?” Not if you look like Abbey Clancy. She could drown a litter of puppies right in front of me, and all I’d be able to focus on was having sex with her. More WAGs after the jump because, hey, you deserve it. Read the rest of this entry »

Abigail Clancy is an English lingerie model who is allegedly engaged to England soccer royalty Peter Crouch. In 2006, while England was competing in the World Cup, Abbey showed up in the tabloids in pictures of cocaine parties and with rumors that she was nailing an ex-boyfriend. This became a huge distraction to Crouch and his teammates, so he dumped her by fax and she was sent home humiliated. Since they’re back together for the 2010 World Cup, England’s manager Fabio Capello has instituted a strict limited sex policy for his team, which means all WAGs (wives and girlfriends) need to stay the F home.

In order to make sure his players aren’t canoodling with their women or the local trollops of South Africa, Capello has ordered the installation of high-tech TV sets in each player’s room at the team’s $677 million base camp. The TVs will allow Capello to check in on his players at any time, as he can secretly watch their downtime or he can contact them openly through the sets. Needless to say the players aren’t too pleased with this development, as they’ll actually have to use their hands for something.

Oi guvna, fetch me the deal, wouldya, Asia One News:

The news has not gone down well with the stars. A source close to the squad revealed: “It’s going to be like Big Brother. The hotel rooms used to be the place we all escaped to, now they’re not safe.”

The news comes after it was revealed that Capello has banned all WAGs from joining the World Cup party, and told his players that they can hook up with their loved ones only once a week. The 63-year-old is desperate to avoid a repeat of the last World Cup in Germany, where the WAGs’ boozy antics were blamed for ruining the team’s chances of glory.

Oh poor athletes only get to have sex once a week. I know bloggers that are happy if they get it once a year. Capello has made it clear to the WAGs and player families that they will receive no help in finding lodging in South Africa, as opposed to past World Cups. The WAGs aren’t taking the news very well, accusing the team of purposely keeping them away. When asked for comment, British Naval leader Captain Obvious just shook his head.

Meanwhile, Capello will bring his wife and his son to South Africa to stay with him, and I won’t spoil anything for you, but it ends with, “The Aristocrats!”