People Are The Worst: Winning Bidder Of Jack Hoffman’s Trading Card Won’t Pay Up

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.21.13

In perhaps my frontrunner for favorite sports moment of 2013, the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ decision to let a 7-year old cancer patient named Jack Hoffman participate in last month’s Spring Game and even score a touchdown has made an amazing impact on the boy’s life. Since that day, he has already had his very own, limited edition Upper Deck trading card printed and he even met with President Obama at the White House. Because of this attention, Nebraska Sen. Deb Fischer also successfully pushed to have Jack’s birthday, September 26, declared National Pediatric Brain Cancer Awareness Day.

There was absolutely nothing negative about this heart-warming story that could seemingly help raise awareness for so many other children throughout the country, as they cope with horrible illnesses. But people are both stupid and horrible, so of course someone had to ruin the fun.

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Jeff Kent’s ‘Survivor’ Departure Was The Most Jeff Kent Thing Ever

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.08.12

I don’t watch much reality TV, let alone any of the CBS blockbuster Survivor, but I’d been keeping my ear to the TV in the other room this season as my girlfriend watched, because as a rule, anything that involves Jeff Kent is usually outstanding. That’s not to say that I like the former San Francisco Giants second baseman. But he has built one of the greatest a-hole reputations, whether he deserved it or not.

Kent has been pretty irrelevant since retiring, and I simply assumed that he’d never be allowed anywhere near a broadcast booth, so I was a little surprised that CBS was willing to give him a spot on Survivor. However, it tickles my funny bone ever so that most or all of his opponents/castmates had no clue who he was, because if they had known, he would have been booted the first week.

Instead, Kent made it to the midseason point, and after he was voted off last night, he laid down one of the greatest sound bites of the year.

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