I don’t want anyone to read this and think that I, at any point, ever thought that Robin Willams was funny. Here’s a short list of things that are funnier than Robin Williams: cancer-stricken children falling down stairs, being stricken with flu-like symptoms during coitus, and, um, everything else. But Williams made a joke on Letterman the other night that has all the Brazilians in an uproar. No, not that kind of Brazilian, though I like the way you’re thinking…

Some citizens and officials in the Brazilian city are upset with comments the comedian made on a recent appearance on the “Late Show” with David Letterman, saying Rio received the 2016 Olympics because it sent “50 strippers and a pound of blow” to compete with Chicago’s entourage that included President Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey.

Williams’ comments have been replayed several times on news shows across Brazil on Tuesday. Mayor Eduardo Paes says Williams is envious of Rio’s achievement. –Forbes, via AP.

I just assumed that that was exactly what happened. Oh, Oprah’s here? Did she bring any cars for us? No? Well, just give it to Rio, then. Why does Chicago want the Olympics anyway? If they’re that interested in seeing 14-year-old Chinese girls contort themselves, they could just head downtown. That’s your one human trafficking joke for the week. It wasn’t even that funny, and it was still funnier than Robin Williams.

Whaddya mean I’m probably the thousandth dweeb to use that tired old reference on the tubes since Rio was chosen as the site for the 2016 Olympics? Most of you young whippersnappers probably don’t even know who Duran Duran is, let alone have any knowledge of their sonic stylings from the 1980s. For instance, did you know that Duran Duran continues to be the preeminent band that uses the same word twice in their name? That’s right. Screw those Tora Tora and Talk Talk dorks. And what in the hell can the Yeah Yeah Yeahs be thinking? Duran Duran is where it’s at, my friends.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I thought for the first day of my second weekend keeping watch over With Leather, I would ease into the day like an old man into a nice warm bath. Nothing too thought-provoking, nothing too serious. Don’t worry, my dissertation regarding the BCS and its role in our country’s GNP will be coming later – stay tuned.

Moving on, apparently as Americans, we are supposed to feel discouraged and heartbroken about Chicago losing out on their Olympic bid. I’m sorry, but that is completely xenophobic and short-sighted. The Olympics are supposed to be a celebration of every nation’s inclusion in the global community, so instead of moping around feeling sorry for ourselves, how about we give Rio (and by extension, Brazil) their due credit and recognize the amazing country that Brazil is and all of the wonderful things the nation has contributed to the world?

For instance, did you know that Rio de Janeiro means “Rio of Janeiro” in Portuguese? Interesting, huh?

Enjoy the photos (and more!) after the jump.

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