Alex Morgan And Conan O’Brien Danced To ‘The Final Countdown’

Written by Brandon Stroud / 09.27.12

Alex Morgan Conan

Conan O’Brien’s ‘Clueless Gamer’ segments are the best. If you frequent UPROXX, you may have already seen him play through ‘Skyrim’ as a cat named Mr. Buttons or not give a shit about ‘Minecraft’.

This week’s segment reviews ‘Just Dance 4,’ enlisting the help of U.S. Olympic soccer gold medalist/the Internet’s girlfriend Alex Morgan. Alex and Conan dance their way through Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ and Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’ before Conan gives up completely and leaves Alex to roll around on the floor by herself.

It’s five minutes of Alex Morgan dancing in workout clothes, people, you don’t need me to blurb this for you. Video is below.

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You’re Welcome, Everyone Except Lolo Jones

Written by Brandon Stroud / 09.14.12

Alex Morgan and other people wearing Olympics clothes want to say thank you for your support. You’re welcome, everyone except Lolo Jones. You just made me feel really stressed out all the time. (via Gunaxin)

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The Best Of Our Live Discussion With Ryan Hurst From ‘Sons Of Anarchy’ |UPROXX|

Into The Dark Heart Of Guy Fieri Culinary Hell: A Review Of Guy’s American Bar And Kitchen |Warming Glow|

James Cameron puts Jack-Could’ve-Fit Gate to Rest Once and for All |Film Drunk|

Sports On TV: 30 Rock’s 20 Greatest Sports Moments |With Leather|

Four Reasons Paul W.S. Anderson Deserves More Credit |Gamma Squad|

50 Cent Doing Business With Manny Pacquiao Is The Most 50 Cent Thing Ever |Smoking Section|

Peyton Manning Victories Apparently Marred By Pigeon Droppings |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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McKayla Maroney Is Not Impressed By The Los Angeles Dodgers

Written by Brandon Stroud / 09.05.12

McKayla Maroney Not Impressed Dodgers

Olympic gold medal gymnasts Gabby Douglas, Kyla Ross and Internet Favorite McKayla Maroney threw out the ceremonial first pitches before Tuesday’s Padres-Dodgers game at Dodger Stadium. The results were mixed. Gabby Douglas has obviously never thrown a baseball in her life and just kinda lobs it in. Kyla’s effort is better, but it hits the dirt before it gets to the catcher.

Because McKayla Maroney is not impressed (she’s never impressed) and is totally the Marcia Brady of the outfit, she steals the spotlight by taking a few steps back to pitch from the mound, gets it across the plate and jumps up and down in celebration. McKayla is once again Princess For The Day, and Gabby has to sulk away, mentally preparing herself for all those shitty questions Tim Federowicz is about to ask about her hair.

Full video is below. If this whole thing isn’t funny to you, watch it for the foxy teen girls in short-shorts. Or Tim Federowicz.

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The Team USA Blooper Reel, Because ‘LeBron James’ And ‘America’

Written by Brandon Stroud / 08.29.12

The Team USA blooper reel is nice, especially that shot LeBron makes at 1:25. That’s all basketball should be, people spinning around making video game hook shots. (via BroBible, by way of Hot Clicks)

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Links

Team USA bloopersLeg Kick TKO, aka “Lobster Mobster’s MMA Blog” |LegKickTKO|

Louis C.K. Workshopped New Material At A Last-Minute Show In Brooklyn, Added Impressions To His Repertoire |Warming Glow|

Meme Watch: ‘Thor’ And ‘Arrested Development’ Are Basically The Same |UPROXX|

Fun Excerpts From The Michael Bay Ninja Turtles Script |Film Drunk|

A Golden Treasury Of Cheesy Late-80s/Early-90s WWF Promo Photos |With Leather|

The 15 Funniest Fake Amazon Reviews Of Bic’s Pens ‘For Her’ |Gamma Squad|

The Best And Worst Of Madden 13 |Smoking Section|

The New Rules for Dez Bryany |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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The Paralympics Begin In A Week, Have Already Been Rocked By A Sex Scandal

Written by Ashley Burns / 08.23.12

Remember how inspiring Oscar Pistorius was? Just keep focusing on that.

The 2012 Paralympic Games are 6 days away and it’s safe to say that Oscar Pistorius served as just a sampling of the incredible inspiration that everyone can feel from the fearless athletes who compete in each of the 21 sports featured at this year’s games. Pistorius, of course, will soon be the first ever disabled person to compete in both the Olympics and the Paralympics, and nobody can take that away from him with stupid arguments about any advantages his “bionic” legs may give him.

That’s why this next bit of news sucks.

Three members of the Jordanian Paralympic team accused of sex offences at a pre-Games training camp in Northern Ireland have been withdrawn from the event, an official said on Thursday. (Via Sport 24, H/T to Fark)

I’m going to need a sh*tload of Teamocil soon if I keep getting roped into these horrible stories about athletes that (allegedly) need to be shot into the sun.

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Ryan Lochte As The Next ‘Bachelor’? Sure, That Makes Perfect Sense

Written by Ashley Burns / 08.10.12

Form a line, ladies.

Just like any world class Olympic athlete with limited appeal and a temporary window, swimmer Ryan Lochte is trying to make the most of his current fame and inexplicable sex symbol status by throwing his name out there for reality TV appearances. He has apparently already lobbied for a spot on Dancing with the Stars, and now it appears that ABC might have higher hopes for him as the next Bachelor.

Apparently Roberto from The Bachelorette turned down the offer to be the new Bachelor already – presumably to star on FOX’s rip-off dating show, Slut Shamer – so that would make Lochte the ideal candidate. If only some people in the industry would throw some slang our way…

“Ryan would make the perfect next ‘Bachelor’,” Amy Rosenblum, who runs media training company Media Masters, told me. “He has the ‘it’ factor. Especially after his mother’s one-night-stand comment, everyone wants to know who is the real Ryan and what would it be like to date him. Forget dancing shows — this guy should be doing dating shows, for sure.”

“Ryan would make a great Bachelor,” casting director Jimmy Floyd, from Semisweet Productions, told me. “He has it all: charm, looks and everyone in America already knows him.” (Via HuffPo)

Added another network PR person, “What is zazz? Zing! Zork! Kapowza! Call it what you want, in any language it spells mazuma in the bank!”

Lochte’s new post-swimming goal is to get into TV and film acting, which is an awesome idea, because he’s been acting like he’s friends with Michael Phelps for years. I only hope that he can match the greatest acting Olympic athlete in world history…

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